I'm (finally!) going to let myself be the best that I can be!

jemimarobin

Full Member
My name is jemma and I'm coming back to Lipotrim after a few years. I was previously 15.7 stone after I had my daughter in 2005 and suffered severe post natal illness. Was on medication which made me put on weight and was so depressed I couldnt leave the house.

I saw a picture of myself in October 2006 and thought, "who is that fat person?" I did not recognise myself at all and it jumpstarted me to start watching what I ate and exercising. After I'd lost about a stone and a half I decided to join Lipotrim to give me a boost, I struggled quite a bit and decided to use maintenance products as I could stomach them much more than the normal ones. I lost about 1.5/2 stone this way and then got down to about 11.10.

After my ex
partner unceremoniously dumped me for a chavvier model in 2008 I decided to move back to Bristol where my daughter was born and get my life back. I lost about a further stone through training for a run. Last year I had to have an operation for gallstones which went wrong and they ended up making a mistake and re-operating. Nightmare! especially as it was just before my daughter started school for the first time.... Since then my weight has gone up at least a stone and has just kept going until it's got back to 11.10 (or was when I started- it's going down every day now :) ) the gp and consultants said to keep an eye on it and I tried a month of extra exercising, cutting out junk food and my weight just stayed the same.... they said Because of not having a gallbladder, my body no longer processes fat efficiently and it will just stick to you... A practically no fat diet for ever then!

I didnt mind having to watch what I eat but I would expect to lose a bit of weight as a consequence and it was very demoralising to not see it go down anymore...but the change in my body chemistry means it's not going to down much the traditional way....

I thought of Lipotrim last week and decided to go for it as it worked for me in some ways before. I never put all the weight back on again I lost with it and before so if I just get a 'chunk' off I'm pretty sure I can maintain in and find my happy medium.

I just got used to being around 11 stone thinking it was ok as I wasnt as big as I was before and sort of forgot somehow that I should have kept on going and it's taken the health professionals to say errr what's going on with you then? for me to realise I need to tackle it some more.

I thought I didnt mind 'being a bit chubby' as I could ' lose it whenever I wanted' but when I felt like the choice was taken away from me and I couldnt seem to lose anything I felt aaghhhh! annoyed, trapped and like I didnt want to be chubby/fat anymore. I've not really been happy with my weight the way it is, I've just got used to it.

I've been trapped in a cycle of overeating/ exercising/ using food as reward/compensation/commiseration/comfort /fulfilment. And it just never ends. I'll always just want something more and it needs to stop now. I've eaten everything there is to try in the world, it's just food and I need to find something else to fulfil me. I thought food was my friend and didn't realise my abuse of it was actually wrecking my body. I've got varicose veins, cellulite, had gallstones with complications, still got flappy mum tummy- 5 years on! crap stamina, bad health, a mouth full of fillings, stretchmarks all over (apart from my face pretty much!) , thread veins, surgery scars... I've ruined my body. and in some ways that's why it's been easier just to be a bit fat as I realise I'm never going to look like a model and what I've got will never look 'spectacular'...

BUT! this kind of defeatist attitude is exactly the thing I want to change and to realise it is not too late to ever try to be the best you can be. I want to beat my food addictions, I want to regain some control of my life. I want to do things to the best of my ability not second best- why be second best? From now on I am going to do the best and be the best. I know I can look better but I've been scared of reaching my potential- if you dont really try, you cant really fail right?
WRONG!
I just got a distinction on a course and this is the first of many "A's" I plan to get in my life. The next will be achieving a more suitable healthy weight for my height! And I'm ready... so bring it on!


Today I have been at a picnic and been offered cakes and all sorts but refused. When I got home I gave my daughter an ice lolly and automatically thought I'll have one too as it's so hot but then thought.. NO! you don't need it you just want it as an excuse to have something. Have a bit of ice instead. So I did. And it's fine. I feel good, on my scales at home I've already lost quite a few pounds which is really good motivation to keep going- this diet does work! I'm going to keep going until my birthday in a month at which point I hope to have lost a stone at least and to have gained a bit more body confidence. What other diet could you do that offers you such fantastic results so quickly?

Lots of people say crash diets bla bla bla but if you are sensible I believe you can manage your weight effectively after this diet.

I know people sometimes just read these to get an idea of other people's stories and how they cope and I'm writing this a way to keep me motivated and on track.

I'm on about day 3 and don't feel hungry anymore and feel pretty good, I usually cave in at the slightest provocation and I'm not yet so I'm going to run with it while I'm under steam!

I've seen loads of really inspirational stories on here and it truly does keep you going.

Looking forward to my weigh in Wednesday! :)
 
I just wanted to say...

this feels like the longest week of my life (so far) !!!!!

I never thought I would be looking forward to going to bed before 10pm just to help time pass quicker...
humph.
 
Hey hun......hows it going ???? im really struggling to get back to it at the mo........really thinking about stopping until all the crap at home is sorted.......this is day 2 of headaches......and with a toddler demanding my attention its very hard.
 
I've posted on your diary thread but yeah, I dont know I caved in to pasta yesterday and felt awful,like I'd really let myself down, my loss for the first week was good but I know I dont want to give up before I get to a healthy weight as I'll just be in the same boat I was in before. I want to be different from how I've been and gobbling pasta and chese is not different- it's exactly what made me overweight!

as i said on your thread, i dont have much else to focus on right now so my motivation, generally, is good- plus te thought of staying chubby on a normal diet was not attractive but if i had loads of stuff going on i'm sure i wouldnt be as focussed and i would probably find an excuse not to.

your call.... x
 
Hi Son, I've moved to Bristol! I'm going to a chemist here now. I weighed for first time yesterday but am really struggling today. Feel hungry and soo drained of energy. havent felt like this yet so it's making things a bit tough today and this is just day 8! hope tomo is better. plus just had some shitey stuff at work.

how you doing?
 
ugh...
so tired.
this diet is doing my head in. i'm still losing and got weigh in weds but today has been horrible. i babysat for a friend at hers and didnt sleep well and came home this morning but felt so sick from not eating early enough which just carried on for most of the day. I said i'd cycle with my friend and probably did 4 or 5 miles which was the first time i've been on a bike in years. nearly fainted and i realised i'd only had about 200 calories up to then and should'nt have cycled without another shake.

ugh hate feeling sick. frst day i've really struggled with sickness and faintness on the diet


hope tomo is better!
 
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