Total Solution Im scared about rejoining...

[arabica]

:sigh: Hi all

I joined before I cant remeber when. But I want to restart my exante total solutions.

But I dont know if its just me that feels this way but I feel scared.. I dont Know how to describe it. but ill try to explain what I feel..

I want to start because IM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING ME! tired of the way people treat and talk to me just because of the way I look.

I dont know why but when I feel I want this sooo much I have this other feeling or side to me that says you wont be able to eat after this, what you going to do when others are eating around you in family events? your not gonna be able to stick to it...is anything going to work for you?....I want a focus and the thing is I havnt got anything to focus on..no boyfriend, no kids, no career. its like everyday is repeated over and over again like groundhog. that is when I actually go out and step outside the door and people are staring at me, or sniggering at me, thinking how fat she is..

the thing is when i started it before i pushed myself and the reason i stopped because i was going out and i heard comments shes not fat shes obese...lose weight fast...why would anyone want to be with her...omg look how fat she is. and when i hear these things i cant say anything or do anything because they would only embarass you more. and then this makes my self confidence go down and i say yes they are right look how fat i am , i tell myself i am pathetic and useless.. I dont eat when i go out and i dont go in public places, i only wear black all the time, and i feel at 29 my life is just passing me buy and i havent lived it yet, and i want to feel alive...i see other women the same size of me and they have husbands or boyfriends with them and i think, why cant i have someone who will love me , u know just a partner you can actually spend time with, what is so wrong with me. i hope im making sense..and im sorry if im not making sense.

but am i the only one who feels this way??

that why i cant start this but i really need to and most importantly want to. i want to prove to myself and others that i can do this. :wave_cry:

 

[lauriel]

Hey welcome.

Im really sorry to read that you're feeling so bad. To be honest, the people that have said those things about you are the ones who should feel BAD...Very bad indeed.

You've taken a massive step coming on here and deciding that you want to do this - you should be proud of yourself for doing it. Who are these people saying these things? You have nothing to prove to these people - lose weight for yourself, stuff what everyone else thinks. You're only 29 and you'll meet the right person for you, learn to love yourself a little

I wish you every success with your diet. We're all here to support you every step of the way xx

 

[rainbow brite]

Aw sweetheart! That post made me want to cry because I know exactly how you feel and it's horrible.

I know it seems like a daunting task ahead if you choose to get back on the diet, but it really helps if you focus on the positives. You most certainly will be able to eat after the diet, you'll have a lot of time whilst on it to examine the way you use food as an emotional crutch and you'll be able to see and figure out where you went wrong to get to where you are weight-wise. Once you've realised the error you're in a position of power over it to recognise if you start to develop bad habits again which could lead to that slippery slope. You'll still be able to have the odd treat too, just in moderation. It really is a learning process and we all know that it's going to be a long and hard process once the weight is actually off to then keep it off once and for all but if you really want it, and you seriously sound like you do regardless of the hesitation to restart, you'll be able to find the motivation to keep at it.

It's not an easy thing to do - any diet is hard and a TFR diet is extreme - but though it might seem like it'll take a long time, if you look at it in weeks rather than months it does help to keep you going. After all, really what is a few weeks out of the rest of your life when the outcome is feeling good about yourself, being able to walk out there with your head held high and be able to know that those people aren't saying anything negative behind your back?

Trust me, I have the same thoughts about people talking about me whenever I'm out of the comfort zone of my own home but I can honestly say that since starting Exante I'm already feeling more confident about myself. No, I haven't lost a massive amount of weight yet but just knowing that I am taking control and that I'm on the way to being fitter, healthier and yes, I'll say it, more attractive, helps to no end. People can say what they want and yes, it hurts, but if you take the bull by the horns and decide to do something about it now you can start feeling so much better about yourself in such a short space of time!

Nothing I can say can decide for you how you to choose to go, but if you feel like your weight is holding you back from enjoying your life then a TFR diet is the fastest way to go about rectifying that portion of your worries. It's extreme, it's hard work but it's so worth it but as a potential restarter, you already know this

As for things to keep you focused, I don't have a partner or kids either, my entire focus comes from simply not wanting to feel this way anymore or ever again! Thinking about how much better, happier, more confident I felt when I was smaller and remember how good it felt to simply walk down the street and not feel like crying because someone looked at me funny, you know?

This has to come from you and you are more than worth the effort, honey. You need to believe in yourself, believe that you deserve to feel great about yourself and if you do decide to undertake the diet once more, make yourself a promise that you are going to stick to it for you. Make a promise to yourself and respect yourself enough not to break it.

Lots of love and hugs to you, dolly.

rbx

 

[arabica]

Hi Lauriel and rainbow brite.
Im very very grateful for the response you gave me. After reading what you wrote to me I just though feck it , im gonna try my up best in this and just ignore comments from others.

I am starting it tomorrow! and this time im gonna take it a day at a time and as you said dont look at it as months but weeks, im def gonna be posting everything i feel and achieve!

thank you for your support and advice and congrats on your weight loss so far, its really good to see that your getting good results.

take care and will be posting up again soon!

 

[rainbow brite]

So proud of you for deciding to take that step, honey! You're going to do great, and if you feel like you're struggling just hop straight on here and post post post! Someone will be able to help you feel better, talk you out of cheating or simply listen if you need to vent!

Take it slow, keep visualising how you're going to feel and look even after only a couple of weeks and you'll do brilliantly!

Good luck, lovely!! xx

 

[arabica]

ahhh..thank you hun!

 

[jojo76]

Aww, such lovely replies - Rainbow Brite, you seem such an amazing and lovely person!

I can't really add much other than try not to think of the ultimate goal date. Every week you feel better and better and your confidence improves. Take me for example, I have 7 stone to lose - it ain't gonna happen overnight! So I think about the inbetween bits. I have lost weight before on WW and know how I felt at certain weights going down:

At at 15 stone I started to get comments. I needed new clothes, and I started to feel more adventurous with styles and colours. This gave me a massive boost of confidence and I felt great.

At 14 stone I went to 'normal' shops for clothes (i.e. not supermarkets or Evans). I actually called my husband at work while in a changing room at Next as I was so overcome with happiness that I could fit in a size 18 top!!

At 13 stone I felt on top of the world. I was no longer 'obese' in my BMI, just overweight and this is a big thing for me. I also didn't feel like a FAT girl anymore. Obviously I was still overweight, but I didn't look FAT.

I think a lot of people start a diet, feeling daunted by how long it takes to get to goal and get fixated by that. I know I did when I dieted last time - it's almost as if I felt like I wouldn't feel good until I got there, and how wrong was I?

Good luck with the diet, and please keep coming on here. It's a lifesaver at times when you feel low. I don't post loads, but I am always checking in to have a quick read. xxx

 

[Stapo60]

Arabica, with all this guidance and support, you can't fail.
You do it girl, and do it for you.
You know it makes sense.
Stapo

 

[Samprand]

How are you getting on hun? x

 

[lauriel]

Hi Lauriel and rainbow brite.
Im very very grateful for the response you gave me. After reading what you wrote to me I just though feck it , im gonna try my up best in this and just ignore comments from others.

I am starting it tomorrow! and this time im gonna take it a day at a time and as you said dont look at it as months but weeks, im def gonna be posting everything i feel and achieve!

thank you for your support and advice and congrats on your weight loss so far, its really good to see that your getting good results.

take care and will be posting up again soon!

I really really admire your determination Good on you! You'll feel so good once you start seeing the weight coming off xx