fatty2slim
Full Member
Hiya all,
I really didn't know where to post this, so just posted it here.
About a month ago I reached 11st 4lbs, my lowest weight ever, and I still felt inadequate, as if I didn't belong or was inferior to others. Since then, I've gained a stone (exams etc), and now i've lost all motivation.
Motivation towards weight loss and life in general. Firstly, each and every day that passes, I think, i'll do it tomorrow, and that tomorrow never comes, each day I feel bigger and bigger and more disgusting! There are also alot of other things playing in my mind, and I know for a fact they are all to do with my weight.
Now that I've finished Uni, I have been on the search for a job - I will get some interviews but put them off and not attend because "who'll hire a fat person?" Even preparing for an interview, i.e. buying smart clothes is an effort for me, in my mind I think "i'm still gonna look fat". On the rare occasion I do go for the interview (I really need the money right now) I will look down, or not look the person in the eye and am so shy, feeling inferior - hence not getting a job, and this cycle of rejection leaves me feeling useless.
Also, I have this fear that no one will ever want to be with me. I know it's really sad of me to think that, but the past relationships I have had, have all proved I am right, no one wants a fat girl, they're too ashamed..
I don't know what I want or need or am expecting from you guys. *sigh* will things ever get better. :break_diet:
I really didn't know where to post this, so just posted it here.
About a month ago I reached 11st 4lbs, my lowest weight ever, and I still felt inadequate, as if I didn't belong or was inferior to others. Since then, I've gained a stone (exams etc), and now i've lost all motivation.
Motivation towards weight loss and life in general. Firstly, each and every day that passes, I think, i'll do it tomorrow, and that tomorrow never comes, each day I feel bigger and bigger and more disgusting! There are also alot of other things playing in my mind, and I know for a fact they are all to do with my weight.
Now that I've finished Uni, I have been on the search for a job - I will get some interviews but put them off and not attend because "who'll hire a fat person?" Even preparing for an interview, i.e. buying smart clothes is an effort for me, in my mind I think "i'm still gonna look fat". On the rare occasion I do go for the interview (I really need the money right now) I will look down, or not look the person in the eye and am so shy, feeling inferior - hence not getting a job, and this cycle of rejection leaves me feeling useless.
Also, I have this fear that no one will ever want to be with me. I know it's really sad of me to think that, but the past relationships I have had, have all proved I am right, no one wants a fat girl, they're too ashamed..
I don't know what I want or need or am expecting from you guys. *sigh* will things ever get better. :break_diet: