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I'm staying with my health-phobic boyfriend for four days next week, what can I do?

S: 16st0.5lb C: 15st11lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 35.7 Loss: 0st3.5lb(1.56%)
#1
My boyfriend despises anything healthy or different, he will start pretending to be sick and gagging if he even thinks about new or healthy food (although if I prepare it myself and eat it without talking about it he copes). So he doesn't have any of that "filth" as he calls it in the house. What's more his parents will be there and his dad's a chef who has made his opinion on my weight very clear, so any attempts at cooking probably wouldn't go down well.

It seriously puts me off going!

Do I try and bring my own things, and if so what? Or shall I go just have maybe half or a third of what he has and hope that's few enough calories? :(
 
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S: 12st12lb C: 11st4lb G: 11st5lb BMI: 24.7 Loss: 1st8lb(12.22%)
#2
I absolutely agree with jezzi, he is being a right prick. How old is he for goodness sake? Gagging when you mention healthy food so you have to eat without mentioning it! Ridiculous! This is not your problem to be dealing with hun, its his. X
 
S: 16st0.5lb C: 15st11lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 35.7 Loss: 0st3.5lb(1.56%)
#3
We've been together for 9 months now, and we've had that conversation several times, which is how I'm able to eat fruit in front of him. That isn't really an option I'm afraid, I can't be at home for those days, it's their way or the high way.

I think over the years it's become a genuine phobia, either way, healthy eating ain't happening there :/
 
S: 12st10.5lb C: 10st10.5lb G: 9st9lb BMI: 24.3 Loss: 2st0lb(15.69%)
#4
Hahaha love your tact ladies...i have to say i agree with you though. Just follow the plan as much as you can i guess! I'm sure you can sneak some fruit with you and fill up on it before meals so you eat less.
 

Malc-D

One day at a time
S: 25st10lb C: 15st5lb BMI: 30 Loss: 10st5lb(40.28%)
#5
no offence but what a d!^k ..
actting like that because you trying to change, sounds like a complete idiot if you ask me.. and his dad's a chef and he's against healthy cooking.. sounds like a right pair.

i'd be looking for somewhere else to stay, at least untill they can all grow up and act their age.
 

bilsat

Really likes to cook
S: 18st11.5lb C: 11st9.5lb G: 11st11.5lb BMI: 23.5 Loss: 7st2lb(37.95%)
#6
If he can't see the benefits from eating healthy, and acts so daft, then I would trade him in for a new one!
 

lsf666

Watch this space...
#8
He sounds awful! But you obviously like him enough to put up with him so I won't say any more in that.

As for his Dad, if he's a chef, surely he's not against healthy eating? And therefore what's his take on your BF and his attitude to food? As for his opinion on your weight, ignore ignore ignore x

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#9
My boyfriend despises anything healthy or different, he will start pretending to be sick and gagging if he even thinks about new or healthy food (although if I prepare it myself and eat it without talking about it he copes). So he doesn't have any of that "filth" as he calls it in the house. What's more his parents will be there and his dad's a chef who has made his opinion on my weight very clear, so any attempts at cooking probably wouldn't go down well.

It seriously puts me off going!

Do I try and bring my own things, and if so what? Or shall I go just have maybe half or a third of what he has and hope that's few enough calories? :(
What do you think is realisitic for you to do? If you want to see him and stay there but aren't going to be in control of the food it sounds very difficult. Will you be going out to eat at all or all meals at the house? Don't try and cut down the amount you eat and end up making yourself hungry and miserable though. Good luck xxx
 
S: 14st11.0lb C: 10st12.0lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 25.3 Loss: 3st13lb(26.57%)
#10
How much do you like him, and how much does he like you? Going forwards I'm not sure how I could make a relationship work where my boyfriend was not only wholly unsupportive of my choices, but actually trying to stop me from getting healthier. If it came to a point where you lived together what would you do? I'd be having a long chat and asking him to see someone if healthy eating was a real phobia, possibly a hypnotherapist, as its not good for either of you for him to be the way he is. If he's not prepared to support you in any way, I'm afraid I'd be sacking him off. Sounds harsh, but he sounds like a tool.
 
#11
He sounds abut like my daughter!! She makes gagging noises if I mention green stuff!!

I'm not going to say he's an idiot, he is who is is and you've chosen to be with him. It makes dieting hard work I'm sure, but you can do it!!

Secret eating of fruit is on the cards. Good luck.
 

lsf666

Watch this space...
#13
jezzi999 said:
Only you know which option is right for you.

As they say, losing weight is hard, being overweight is hard - pick your hard!
Loved your whole post but have quoted the best bits x

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#14
When I read the title I thought you meant he was germ phobic! I never for one second thought I would be reading a sentence using the word 'and thats why I can now eat fruit in front of him' when I clicked on the link!

Could you perhaps say to him that whilst you understand it's a phobia and don't want to make him unwell, you would prefer not to go off your plan, so you'll be eating separately? Take a bag with some fruit, and carrots in it. Take some mugshots, savoury rice, cous cous (stuff you just add boiling water to mostly & eat away from them. Extreme maybe, but it might work?

If it was me I'd be telling him & his dad to man up but its not me! And the fact you're even asking the question suggests you have more tolerance than me!
 

FaithFluro

Skinny (to be) Stef
S: 19st2lb C: 16st9lb G: 9st6lb BMI: 37.6 Loss: 2st7lb(13.06%)
#17
That sounds absolutely awful and your bf sounds completely immature.
It sounds like with him you're going to be around a very difficult and unhealthy lifestyle if you stay with him. Depending on how much you love him and how much you want to lose weight, I would give him an ultimatum - grow up or pack up. He either begins to deal with 'healthy' foods like an adult or you go. I'm sorry but having a conversation with someone just so you can eat fruit in front of them is absolutely appauling.
I don't mean to be harsh but...yeah.
 
S: 21st3lb C: 17st4lb G: 14st4lb BMI: 39.1 Loss: 3st13lb(18.52%)
#18
What kind of things does he like? Sw do some amazing fake-aways you could always make some and keep the veggies for you so he gets rice, meat sauce etc. I'd take some frylight with me so I can make sw chips when he has chips. If he has fish and chips from the chippy, you could make sw chips and pick the batter off so it is free, and munches dome fruit or veg while he goes out and goes to the chip shop.
 

Browsie

Silver Member
S: 13st7.5lb C: 13st7lb G: 9st10lb BMI: 33.5 Loss: 0st0.5lb(0.26%)
#19
Anything that makes you eat in secret whether that be junk or fruit is very bad for your health IMO. You are accepting him phobia and all so he should do the same for you and as far as his dads concerned i would tell your BF any comments about your weight are off limits. It's got nothing to do with him how much you weigh or what you eat. He needs to accept his son loves you and keep his opinions to himself.

Personally I'd tell his dad that his f**ked up son was ruining any chance of you being able to do anything about your weight with his childish behaviour towards anything healthy so before he makes comments about you he should look a bit closer to home. But that's just me!

Good luck with whatever you decide.
 

loolahoop

Silver Member
S: 13st6lb C: 10st6lb G: 9st13lb BMI: 23.6 Loss: 3st0lb(22.34%)
#20
i was gonna say something similar to browsie, what would he eat if he was to come and stay with you? would he make u change ur eating habits for while he is there? or would he expect to eat differently to you? maybe try explaining it that way to him? that you wouldnt expect him to eat ur "filth" when stayiong with you because u respect him enough to understand thats his choice, so in turn u would hope that he respects u enough to let u eat ur "filth" in peace without the silly and immature noises and not expect you to eat his and consequently sabotaging ur weightloss and undoing some of your hardwork.
 


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