In the twelves - result after 16 weeks

Cerulean

Silver Member
Being naughty and my very quiet Chatterbox

Well, if you've seen some of my posts before you'll know that my naughty little vice is weighing myself. I've been lucky, my weight is shifting very quickly, my chatterbox has been so quiet I'm actually annoyed with it because I haven't had a chance to practice on it whilst I've been on LL! (I think my chatterbox agreed very early on that it wants to get into a size 12 Vivienne Westwood dress more than it wants a steak and kidney pie) so what the scales say never demotivates me even on the 2 or so stay the same weeks I have had. However, I am aware that as I get smaller, the proportion of the weight loss and speed may slow down, so I will be perfectly happy (I hope!) to shove the scales in the cupboard when that happens. I thought that the journey through the 13s would be difficult for me - perhaps I should say a little about how I started piling on all the weight at this point so I can remind myself why being under 13 stone is such an achievement.

The 9 years I spent over 14 stone

At university (in the mid 90s) although I was only just a few pounds overweight and quite a pretty girl, I always felt insecure. I was the fattest girl by a long way (remember the waif role models of the mid 90s?) I would go clothes shopping by the styles were all for people who could go without a bra and not be ashamed of revealing their torsos. I was acting a lot but never getting cast in the pretty girl parts - I was always the fat frumps. I would hover around 11 and a half stones as my skinny weight, but I just never seemed to get the boys - every boy I fancied just didn't fancy me back - so I started a horrible spiral of eating lots of chocolate and crisps to fix the horrible nagging feeling that no one would ever want me (I'd had the same problem at school - and in fact at the age of 33 I have still never had a real boyfriend) and that I wasn't good enough to do what I wanted to do with my life. I felt bullied and undermined at every turn and in the end I barely passed my degree and got myself into horrendous debt through my comfort eating and spending. At one point I was so far in denial that I wasn't paying my rent - I hated my first job after university (I was bullied by coworkers who called me fat and ugly) and I was lonely.

The only self control I had at that point was over my weight. I was down to my skinny weight when my parents were chased by my landlord for over a thousand pounds of missed rent payments. I went back home to live with them in shame and disappointment and really let go of myself. I ate myself up to 13 stone (the weight at which I became obese fr the first time) This was the summer of 1998. Then I put on a further stone by the winter. My body was covered in horrible stretchmarks and I knew then that I would never have a perfect body.

Over the years I yo-yoed up to weights I swore I would never see, would lose 2 stone and then promptly put it back on plus another stone. No matter what I did in my diets I always stuck at 14 stone on the way down before piling it all on again. So when I got to 14 stone with LL, I thought that I might stick there for a couple of weeks because y body would be so used to that pattern. I know that there is a theory that the body can hang on to weight at certain significant points so for the past month I have been throwing myself into my work (and getting recognised for it) and exercising harder - and it seems to have paid off. To be losing about a stone and 4lbs a month at this stage is more than I ever dreamed of.

So - here's hoping that the 179.5lbs the scales seem to think I am (well, I'm actually 178lbs, but I allow a pound for clothes!) is exactly what I will be at my LLCs at weigh in tonight.


Being an adult (and a free child)

I am going in to work today (it's okay - I get double time and I like being in the office when it's quiet) to work on some things for the promotion I'm working towards in December. I feel like I'm taking myself seriously again. The job I do isn't actually what I want to do for life - I really want to be a comedy writer and performer - and if that doesn't work out I have decided to train as a life coach and take my MSc in Psychology so that I can train as a psychotherapist. I am learning so much about addiction and weight and self-esteem on my LL journey that I would like to be a trained professional that can help VLCDs gain more credibility. Anyway - my group are always saying how creative and fun I am (which I am, they're two of my major passions!) and we've been celebrating the fact that I am becoming an adult with the ability to behave like a free child in the fun parts of my life. I always thought being an adult was dull, but I feel so much happier than when I used to be a rebellious child all the time. Much better to be a grown-up and choose when to access the happy, loving, free child when I need to be creative and spontaneous rather than throw all the toys out of the pram when things don't go my way!

I think this diet has been a blessing and the magic wand that I prayed for my entire fat life. I got called up by LL head office this week to give feedback this week and I told them that it was the best thing I had done in my life and that it was amazing. My only negative comment was that I think that they should be working more closely with the NHS to show them that it's not a silly fad so that people on the diet who have GPs that don't understand it don't have to spend so much time and money getting signed on to do the programme. I really think that LL should help more with that - finding positive GPs should be part of the service.

Anyway - hello 12 stone something. Nice to see you after all these years! You are a bit scary and I won't be here for too long, I hope, but it's such a relief to be here.

Whilst I was 13st something, in my head I kept saying to myself I was 15st something - I don't think my head could cope with saying the number 13 in connection with my weight! I think I might have the same problem with the 12s!

And how I got here...

Anyway - here's a breakdown of my losses in the four 4 week chunks.

Day 0 - 18st 2
Weeks 1-4 - 28lbs (16st 2)
Weeks 4-8 - 14lbs (15st 2)
Weeks 8-12 - 17lbs (14st)
Weeks 12-16 - 15lbs (12 st 11 - unconfirmed but hopeful!)

I have followed the programme to the letter - the only exceptions being the odd day of not getting all my water in (and certainly not tracking my 10000 steps! - although I do get a lot of exercise). I have not even had Marigold Bullion - also I didn't start eating bars until week 11. I do confess that I don't have to cook for anyone and I live alone so my fridge and cupboards contain nothing that might tempt me, so I have been able to avoid a lot of confrontation and I do count myself lucky.

If you're just starting out, grit your teeth, dig your heels in and ride out any hunger pangs. I promise you, in a few weeks it will be worth every painful moment!
 
Sarah

That is an amazing post - real, heart felt and thought provoking. If I was new to the diet and I read that post it would give me all the inspiration I need to do something about my weight and to know it could be done.

I so know how you feel about the nemesis of 14st as mine is the same with 16st (think I've mentioned that either before on here or in my blog). I can remember being at 16st for years and nothing could get me below then when I did lose weight 2 years ago I got to 15st 9 then gave up and the stones went back on again. Well as of this morning I'm 16st 2lb at home and I know this time that I'm going to go below it and stay below it - I knew that this morning when I was stood on the scale with the number 16 flashing in my mind and I know that even more now that I've read your post.

A few more weeks and you'll soon be at your goal and from reading that post I'd say there is nothing that will stop you getting there.

I really hope that you go on to fulfil your dreams in your career, go for it and run with it - you've shown what you're capable of doing.

Cath
x
 
Popped in before going up to the allotment & s pleased I did. You echo so much of my own story & I know that there are things in there that will be really hard to post so a heartfelt thank you for doing so. Also feel so proud of you for how far you've come! I'm not in the 12's yet but look forward to getting there! Its a wonderful journey (although we need remnding sometimes eh!!) - not so much for the loss but for the other things we learn along the way & the pride we start to feel in ourselves! A huge, squidgy hug from me! Kind f start to understand when looking at others what my mum feels when she says "I'm so bloody proud of you!" and this is one of those occasions! My debts will be paid off when I'm 42 & thats when the old boob job is coming!!! Dont know about you but I feel on top of the world & learning to deal with everyday issues without food is great!
 
I get weighed about 8-10 times a day.. it is what keeps me going.. even on the 'stay the same' days!
 
Thank you for your lovely lovely comments!

The great news is that my official weight is 12st 10.5. Less than a pound away from 5 and a half stone!

Hurrayyyyy!
 

cerulean, you are sooo right in lots of way's i waisted a whole year because my doctor said that this diet was so unhealthy, if that's so why do i feel so great, no back or knee pains anymore and a normal blood pressure!!
i done this as we have a doctor who gets money for charity and comes to class, he beleives strongly as he has done it himself, if only people were more open minded and actually came to see the results for themselves..i am with you on your views..
 
Thank you for sharing your incredibly inspiring story. I think it will help a lot of people.

I myself have reached that point that I haven't gone any further than before. 10 1/2 stone. I have my gym induction on Tuesday so hopefully I will be progressing forward too.

Thanks again
Suzy
 
Thank you everyone and good luck with your journeys!

And here is what I look like in my first size 14 dress since 1993 and at 12st 10 - the woman in the shop I bought it from said 'You should try it on first - we have a no returns policy' Well sod her ;)
 

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Now I'm really jealous! Look at those collar ones - wow!! Dont you go getting anorexic though eh!! Sod her is right - its a perfect fit!! Fab! When you go down a size...!! Keep up the good work & keep us updated! Huge hug & thanks for the rep point - my pleasure by the way!!
 
i'm on week one and reading a post like that has really inspired me. I have struggled with my weight since my early teens (16 years) and finally i think i have found a programme that will work. thankyou for writing such an honest statement, I can relate to many of your feelings about being overweight and how you got there in the first place. Thank you again!Have a great week!!
 
So much here rang so true with me. Thank you for sharing it.

And you look a million dollars in that dress - although with current exchange rates I should say five million!
 
Sarah
Your post was fabulous, and the dress equally so! Really inspiring.

Getting into the 12's is absolutely amazing. I too have lost 5 and a half stone and am approaching the 13's with the same trepidation. Very very excited (I know I'm there already and WI not 'til Friday), I've not been here for some time and it feels really strange, but absolutely fantastic.
I'm also wearing a size 14 today!! First one in ages and loving it :D

Clearly there is so much for many of the Mini's to empathise with here. I've been a serial yo-yo dieter, well, forever really and really do believe that this is it now for me. There's no stopping the bus now, not when the end is so close.

Sending lots of luck as you face the finish line :D
 
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