Is it my turn?

[babsie007]

I lived the majority of my childhood as a chubster before blooming into a slender, blonde-haired goddess when I was 14 (I refer to this as the age of the boob tube). This lasted oh, around 2 years before the lbs started to slowly creep on. I can remember reaching 11stone and my mum telling me that I was fat and needed to lose weight - 15 years on I now weigh in at over 19stone. I think it's safe to say that I've got even fatter!

What I'd give to be as 'fat' as I was back then.

I'm a comfort eater and food addict. Celebrating a success? I treat myself with food. Having a bad day? I drown my sorrows with a takeaway or fast food lunch (or both!). Frankly, my whole life revolves around food, and sitting down to a meal is the thing I look forward to most.

I've been on this journey of slimming before, usually with early success but enthusiasm that dwindles quickly. Reading magazines and stories online, I'm often jealous of the incredible weight loss people have experienced. Their story often starts with them having tried and failed a number of times in the past when something happens to change their mindset - they join slimming world and in a matter of months or years, they've dropped 8+stone and changed their lives (and their wardrobe).

As an ex-smoker that has been off the ciggies now for over 5 years, I clearly have willpower locked inside somewhere. So why can I not stop indulging in the food that I know is bad for me? I often start a diet with the best of intentions and discipline but after success in the early weeks, my dedication wanes and I come tumbling off the wagon. Usually head first into a king-sized takeaway.

At my heaviest I weighed 19st 13lbs and what I'd like to do is immerse myself in the SW way of life and make a lifelong change. My little girl is 2.5 years old and I don't want to be the fat mum at the school gates. I want to be the mum that can go down the slide with her daughter without the fear of getting stuck!

I'm so determined this time to make this a lifestyle change that will stick. Is it my turn yet?

 

[babsie007]

2nd week weigh in today and I've lost another 3.5lb!

That's my half stone award!

Feeling positive about the day ahead, especially as I went out for breakfast yesterday but managed to stay on plan. Im planning on having a treat today though.

 

[babsie007]

It's Monday and I'm staying positive! I had an early morning call with the NHS mental health service... after having my little girl in January 2014, I suffered with post-partum depression and anxiety. I had been feeling loads better but in the last few months I've started to suffer with the anxiety again. I'm now booked in for CBT so I should be starting treatment in the next 5 weeks. As I'm such an emotional eater, it's important that I address my issues or else I'll end up falling off the wagon big style!! Plus I'm worried that my hubby would divorce me if I didn't sort myself out - he's put up with so much already.

Regarding my current weight loss, 7lb off so far (plus I'd lost 6lb before starting to slimming world) so I'm really pleased with that. I have been gloating to my friend that I can get my whole arm down my smart black size 22 trousers that I wear to work!! Yes, a whole fat arm - are you impressed? I hadn't noticed much difference around my stomach but I guess the fact that I can now get my arm in there, I've definitely lost inches.

I had a great SW weekend. We had a quick lunch out on Saturday and I chose an omelette and side salad... I did share chocolate cake with my daughter so used 7syns there. Yesterday we had leftover beef chilli that was in the freezer and last night it was home made cottage pie!! I even managed to get up and do us a good breakfast this morning to start the week. I'm noticing more and more that actually, how we prepare food is healthy - we just eat far too much of it and eat in the wrong proportions!!! Also the takeaway... oh the takeaway...

I've noticed I've stopped craving fast food and I've started craving beetroot (odd I know..) and on Friday just past, it was cherries!!

Fingers crossed for a great week this week - I'm hoping for a minimum 3lb loss.

 

[babsie007]

It's been 3 days since weigh in and I was so geared up after another 3.5lb loss but as the days have went on, I've started to feel somewhat deflated...

You see, I'm what I refer to as a 'daily weigher'. First thing in the morning before I have my coffee I strip down to my undies and hop on the scales, hoping to see some movement towards my next goal. Problem is that since Saturday even though I've been on plan, I seem to be jumping from +0.5lb to 1.5lb gain!! It's so frustrating and it's making me feel that I just want to give up. See, this is my pattern starting to emerge and I'm not even 3 weeks in... a few weeks of success and dedication and then the slightest sign that it's not moving at the speed I want it to, I want to throw the towel in. This doesn't just happen with my weight loss, this is common in all areas of my life.

Any psychologists on here?!

It's not that I find following the diet difficult, I just want to see results and progress constantly. I'm so keen to see a result on the scale that I've been very careful with portion sizes.

Anyway, I'm still on plan for today and I have lots of healthy snacks with me and a good lunch so I'll just have to keep my fingers crossed that it all falls into place.

 

[Quins]

Babsie, I've just read through your thread. You're doing blo@dy well, get your hand out of those trousers and pat yourself on the back. Some if us do the daily weighing, I have done and hit upset at the minor gains. Those gains evened out over the week and turned into losses, greater losses over the months. I learned that your weight fluctuates over the week as it does during the day. By daily weighing I think I was looking for reward, recognition possibly, something very positive ? I don't weigh so often now, but recently have been keeping a daily check since getting back from holiday, going back to work and exiting to make sure I'm getting my plan right. I've got some key days for sneaky peak ( Monday and Thursday, weigh in Friday or Saturday). I deffo don't lose the plot if there is a gain, I get angry and back on plan. 3 weeks in and half stone gone, your in control of it. Stick to the plan, keep the faith. Post your food too.

 

[babsie007]

Haha! [gently removes hands from trousers]

I had a 0.2 of a pound loss showing this morning which made my day to be honest! I still have 3 sleeps before weigh in so I need to stick to plan and it'll all be ok.

I have to admit, although I've 'done' slimming world before, I've really immersed myself in it this time and I'm trying loads of new recipes and new ways of cooking my usual dishes and it's really working!! I'm preparing breakfast lunch and dinner by hand and probably saving a small fortune in the process. I actually joined minimins in 2012 but hadn't ever posted until a few weeks ago - good example of me being immersed.

I'll start posting my food yo but tonight I discovered mayflower curry!!! It's amazing. Ill never need another Chinese takeaway as long as I live

 

[Quins]

Mayflower !i can't get the stuff locally. I have to ask people at work who have acces to a B&M. I'm desperate for it, Love it

 

[babsie007]

I happen to drive past a B&Ms on my way home from work and I bought 2 packs. I'll be going back to stock up on more!!! Someone mentioned to me that Iceland stock a SW curry but not sure what it's like. I might have a google and see what people are saying about it and how many syns are in it.

 

[babsie007]

Weigh in day was Saturday and I was absolutely delighted with a 2lb loss!!! This means I've lost a total of 9lb so far and I'm on trck to achieve my mini September target (12 lb) - need to lose 3lb this week to achieve that.

As I'm following online, I weigh myself first thing Saturday morning. And then due to my weight loss and the fact I was at a birthday part that night, I decided to go off plan!!!!!!

I went to KFC and had a zinger tower boxed up meal with gravy... 2 packets of sunbites, 2 coffees with sugar and then we made our way to my friends birthday party at 7:30. This consisted of 3 glasses of wine, a beef bap with chips, half a slice of garlic bread and around 8 tiny slices of the most amazing chocolate cake I've ever tasted in my life. It had really thin slices of light chocolate sponge in between what I think was thin layers of chocolate mouse. £400 apparently for her 50th birthday and although I think it's very expensive for a cake, I will invest in one myself at some point in the future!!!! For a special occasion of course. Maybe when I hit target?

That has me thinking... does anyone ever have a "I hit target" party?

I was pleased however that even after my late night, I woke up feeling miserable and dehydrated and had 2 poached eggs, mushrooms and smoked salmon for breakfast and got right back on plan. With my sore head and tiredness, all I wanted to do was go to McDonalds and get something greasy to make myself feel better. I thought that my body needed grease but in actual fact it just needed nourishment. I made myself a delicious healthy lunch (that actually included carbs) and I felt amazing afterwards.

Have I learned a lesson? It actually wasn't worth it. The guilt I felt coming off plan coupled with the fact that I know I can't live my life being on plan 'sometimes'. When I think back, I've had days in the past when I've had the KFC and still had a takeaway that night. So perhaps it's still an improvement.

I weighed myself yesterday morning and I was 4lb heavier and today I'd lost 2 of those lbs gained. Perhaps I'll be lucky enough to be back to normal by tomorrow and for the indulgence not to affect me that much. If I don't reach my 3lb target this week, I will only have myself to blame.

 

[Quins]

Well done again Babsie, great loss , on track etc. Don't feel guilty about going off plan, your back in now. What's the worst that can happen? You might miss your September goal, but I reckon you'll get it by going on plan week. If not the first week of October, it's only a matter of days. Best thing is that you felt better , no , felt amazing! Keep going Babsie.

 

[babsie007]

Thanks @Quins ! I weighed myself this morning again and I'm back to what I was on weigh in day, Saturday. So there's hope for me yet!!

Had a trip to the cinema last night to watch the new Bridget Jones and as I had some syns left, I brought a little bag of Metcalfes skinny popcorn with me (3.5 syns) an alpen light bar (the other half of my HEB) and I stopped at McDonalds before going in to get a cappuccino (HEA)!! All in all, a successful night - apart from the film which disappointed me a bit.

I'm into week 4 and I just keep reminding myself that it took a long time to put the weight on so I need to give myself some proper time to get it off. I'm just impatient... but I'm feeling positive today.

 

[babsie007]

I'm having a superb week so far. I have continued with my food diary and I'm finding that is really helpful. I've ditched cereal in the morning in exchange for fruit and yogurt and I'm having a mid morning snack on an Alpen Light bar (1/2 HXB). Some days I'm finding it hard to use my syns but then I have had a day that I went over - we got a takeaway (healthy!!). Grilled chicken, salad but with a small handful of chips and a pitta bread so it put me wayyyy over - but I'd been way under on the 3 days either side so I don't feel so bad.

This is coming to the end of my 4th week and I'm starting to feel like it's a natural choice now... It's been over 4 weeks since I had a McDonalds breakfast (this was a regular occurrence for me more than once per week) and I haven't really craved once recently which is great! Even when I'm out, I'm ordering healthier choices as I don't want to sabotage my weight loss. I've also started to fantasize about what it might be like to be slim!!! I can't even comprehend what that's like, it's been so long.

Was talking to my mum last night and there's a woman she works with that's a few years older than me and she's lost 8 stone in a year on slimming world!!! The reassuring thing is that she joined online too and did it from home and didn't go to group. Quite motivating to hear of people that have done it themselves.

I'm set up for the day with my healthy snacks and my lunch (leftover mayflower curry from last night) and I'm looking forward to weigh in to see what my loss is this week.

 

[babsie007]

I just want to sit and eat today!! It's my TOM and I just want to sit and eat crap.

I'm also a little disheartened that it's the day before weigh in and the scales haven't shifted at all since last week.

 

[Quins]

Hang in Babsie. Read you're previous post. It's not worth slipping back. Treat yourself to something and enjoy it, don't freak out on cr@p , you won't like yourself if you do.

 

[babsie007]

Thanks @Quins . I remained good yesterday, despite my massive appetite!! I don't know why I just wanted to eat everything. I stayed on plan and had plenty of fresh fruit and a sensible lunch. However last night for dinner, we ordered an Indian. I had lamb rogan josh with boiled rice and ate the whole thing - it's been a long time since I've been able to finish a full portion.

Hopped on the scales this morning and I've gained 1/2lb. It's disappointing but not the end of the world. I had a crazy day last Saturday with KFC cake and wine so maybe it was the day that ruined it all for me.

I'm sticking to plan today and looking forward to a good loss next week!!

 

[Quins]

Is that your official weigh in or one of the daily looks?

Just saw your reply to the challenge, half pound will come off easily once your back to plan.

My weak times are when I get in from work, I'm ravenous and then just before bed I sometimes get a craving for peanut butter/ choc spread.
When I eat more protein I seen full up for longer. A yoghurt and Banana usually stops the craving. I think eating slower also helps.

We all struggle, that's why we're here.

 

[babsie007]

That's my official weigh in - Saturday morning. I did wonder if I should cheat and say I maintained but I realised I'd only be cheating myself at the end of the day.

I'm going to stick to 15 syns per day max now this week and see if it makes a difference. I have to admit there's been a few days when I've went over but when I've totalled the week, it's been 15 syns average per day.

I've dealt with my disappointment and I'm pushing on regardless.

Scrambled egg, mushrooms and plum tomatoes for breakfast and then a jacket with tuna May and a side of spinach, mozzarella and balsamic glaze. #thinkskinny

 

[babsie007]

We've been out for dinner this evening before taking a trip along to the Roker Illuminations in Sunderland - you should look them up!

We went to an Italian and it's sooooo difficult to work out the syns in things. I think I made good choices but who knows.

I had a small bowl of chicken and leek soup to start (definitely had cream in as I could taste it!)
Half of a small bread role (I know, I shouldn't have had any)
Grilled chicken with vegetables (if didn't seem fried and beg didn't seem to be covered in butter)
And I ordered a peppercorn sauce on the side and had around 3 tablespoons of that

Apart from the meal out, I only had 1 syn today.

 

[babsie007]

2 days after weigh in and I've finally seen a loss on the scales!! I hopped on first thing this morning and there was a 3.5lb loss which was great. Makes me feel that my efforts haven't been wasted!! And as it's only Monday now and weigh in isn't until Saturday, I should hopefully have a great loss this week.

Some more good news is that my smart black trousers for work are starting to get pretty big so I'm going to go for a shopping trip on Saturday and pick a new pair up in the size smaller. I tried some on yesterday and they fit however they weren't the right style for me (side button and zip) so I'll pop to a larger debenhams at the weekend and have a hunt through a much larger collection.

 

[Erniie]

Hi Babsie Well done on losing 9lbs already, I weigh every day too - even though they tell you not to I think it helps me to see if my weight is going in the right direction. Feels great when you get to buy clothes in a smaller size too.
I'm back on SW for the billionth time again this week - I think you have to wait until your head is in the right place to do it, otherwise you just feel guilty all the time and feeling guilty/setting yourself up to fail isn't good for anyone's mental health.
Keep up the good work