It aint over till the fat lady sings ... !!!

Day 1 done and dusted, the puppy wee'd on my scales and bust them so cant check official weight till get new one.

So:

Breakfast - vanilla sf
Lunch - 2 slices toast and 4 squates of aero bar
tea- brown rice, chicken, mushrooms onions in soy gravey
Snacks - 2 mini chubb chubs

keep fighting keep moving will get there in time

sarah xx
 
Ahh hes a right menace will buy one on friday.

It is lovely and really easy to make.

So today has gone to pot but im a bit confused as im still mulling over the 5:2 diet as some days i hardly eat. My mum gave me a british heart foundation diet and it looks like a 4:3 and it states you loose 10lb a week!!! Is that even possible. My problem is some weeks i have very little money i eat whatever is available and its not always that good.

But if i was to do 5:2 i could eat higjer on the 5 days thefeore not worrying about having good food in.

Does anyone have any advice? my kids dont eat good and i dont like all meat so were at war a bit lol

sarah xx
 
so i thought about it and im sticking with just cc i jyst gotta wirk harder and stick with it as in all honesty im not. my heart wants to my mind gives up easily.

i read an article yesterday in womens health which explained that although cc is the best form of dieting we should be looking at what we actually consume as calories. carbohydrates are the least used food and in should not be over used. they used the analogy of a project manager whom is given equipment to do a job. if given too much of one thing it just pushes it to the side!! therefore although we lose weight the excess carbs not used are stored as fat. It hit a big red button with me and i realused what i ultimately have to do.

one big thing with me is planning. so although i cant weigh until i get a new scale theres nothing stopping me planning my food the day before and getting to my goal whatever that is one step at a time.

live for today thinking about tomorrow forgetting yesterday.

sarah xx
 
so had a drs appointment today to sort out my dodgy feet lol. got a steroid cream so hopefully it will clear the problem up.

so last two days been rubbish but when i went docs today i had to be weighed for contraception and it says 17.3 which my scale says is different mine say 17.11 when they did work lol. ah i want new scsles jus cant afford then for 2 weeks lol.

so tomorrow is a new day and this is the plan:

breakfast - belvita biscuits

lunch - 2 quorn sausages, scrabled egg and toast

tea - chicken salad

sarah xx
 
i know this is my diary and i moan a lot in it and lack motivation to fight the fat but im doing some thinking about where my emotional eating pattern has stemed from.

from a young age ive been overweight. was bullied at school for being bigger. ive never felt like i fit into the hole im a square peg and everyone else is round.

i think back and remember spending my pocket money on cakes and sitting hiding while i ate it all. ive never told anyone this and am in tears writing this.

my father thought ge was helping by telling me i needed to loose weight in my teens it just hurt. ive blocked a lot of this out but now im reliving it all again over and over.

how do i overcome these emotions and set aside the pasy and look to the future so my kids dont have to experience this!!!

think i need help
 
I did the same sort of thing, eating choc was such a secret activity for me as my dad disapproved of me and my sister eating it! We never had biscuits or crisps or choc in the house so when we started getting pocket money we would buy sweets like they were going out of fashion. I'm so sorry you feel like this, being trapped in a negative mindset does have such an impact on how you eat. You maybe need to think about seeing your gp, if they aren't sympathetic see another Dr in the surgery. They might be able to refer you for counselling. Please don't give up on yourself :)
 
yoooo sarah

massive hugs to ya! how are you feeling? xxxxxx
 
Hello Sarah, hope you are doing ok.

I had pretty much the same sort of upbringing as vivahate, never any sweets etc in the house so used pocket money to buy lots of junk and hid it in my room, became a total secret eater. You are not alone. *hugs* if you think it might help to talk to someone then maybe ask about counselling sessions in your area? Even drop-in stuff if you don't want it to be so formal.

xx
 
Hi Sarah,

So sad for u reading your posts but I'm hoping sharing them on here might have helped??

I've always been big and i think its because we were quite poor my mum would just put whatever she could on the table. and I remember when my mum met her husband he was working for golden wonder crisps and we'd always have **** loads of crisps in the house and I remember having loads of empty packets at the side of my bed. Then when I was older and we moved to Belgium because we didn't have many friends out there me and my sister used to just go to the shop get loads of chocolates and sweets and sit in our bedrooms watching English films and eating!!! But as I said I've always been big, and I've learnt that's not an excuse. I know being completely stick thin skinny wont suit me and I don't want to be that. I want to be a healthy weight and look healthy!! And one day soon.... It will happen for me just as it will happen for you x
 
hi everyone

thankyou for all your kind words and support im defo grateful for your help.

ive taken a week off just to re-think and decide what i need. ive bought myself a new scales so have started afresh today but will weigh on a friday officially.

i have major demons which i try to supress. when im deep thinking the resurface but im dealing with it slowly. eveyone has a story and there are much.harder off people than me but i become bogged down witj everything that happens in my life and focus on everyone bar myself. ive realied i need me time or there will be no ME so im staying positive and taking baby steps.

so 100% today. its our 3 year anniversary tomo. got nothing planned as no money but just apreciate what we have. 100% tomo and ill be happy.

heres to a happy sarah xx
 
hello

its been nearly a week since i last wrote here. im watching obese the fight of my life, ohhh how i love jessie pevelka! lol. but the girl on there tnite has clicked in my mind and some of the mantras hes told her need to be mine.

1. food is for nutrition for mind and body it will not help those feelings or emotions
2. exercise will help release those emotions
3. you must love yourself and apreciate all the good things in yoyr life.

im being lazy and finding excuses so im gonna start by lowering my fat and carb intake and doing an exercise dvd or gym everyday.

i want a new coat for winter so thats my first goal. i have a size 18 but its doesnt quiet zip up so to know that zips up i can buy myself a new one.

sarah xx
 
ive decided to start officially on sunday as af arrived plus we get money tomo so i can go food shopping and think and plan. 2 weeks ago i was 17.13 hopefully this has not changed.

so ill change my signature and put goals on sat and plan for the week.

sarah xx
 
ive decided to start officially on sunday as af arrived plus we get money tomo so i can go food shopping and think and plan. 2 weeks ago i was 17.13 hopefully this has not changed.

so ill change my signature and put goals on sat and plan for the week.

sarah xx
 
hello everyone

hope everyone is ok?

im feeling positive for once that im gnna get there eventually.

so weighed in yesterday and 18.0 1/2 really hope for a good loss this week to give me a boost. im struggling with breakfast at moment just dontvwant any so just having an apple to get me by.

baby girl paige is back in school tomo on mornings so the plan is to take puppy ben for walks each morning apart from one day a week when i take baby boy fynn swimming. teaching him myself!!! maybe a disaster but worth a try.

had a lovely afternoon out yesterday we went to the estere where ben and kids played in sea which was quiet warm. they had a fab time.

hope eveyone has a nice monday.

sarah xx
 
still on track not given in lol. have done the nursery run and inbetween gone to park with fynnley and then took ben for a walk. just having lunch now, homemade butternut squash soup and then off out to the beach park to use up some energy.

hope everyone is well.

sarah xx
 
hey sarah!! pleased to see you're doing great. i use an app called workouts by skimble and i dunno if you have an iphone but it's really good! most exercises are free and you can do them at home, and you can filter workouts by insensity and duration, etc etc. you can also stretch and do yoga moves if you don't fancy doing cardio. just a suggestion though because i like the app a lot so i thought you might like it too. there's a website for it though. :) xxxx
 
Glad you are doing well :). Butternut squash soup sounds lovely - I'm not very adventurous when making soup, usually stick to lentil! xx
 
evening all

yeah cas its so much easier with mornings its just we have so much time now so im tryig to take them out and also take the dog.

hi beth i dont have an i phone bit of a techno phobe me lol. but thankyou i have a few dvd to use plus im goin to penyrheol gym 3 times a week. if you wanna come with me anytime let me know.

thanks erin i roasted the squash then boiled in water with seasoning and garlic and then blended was loveky. i just tend to experiment with soups you get so much for little cal!

ive gone a little over today but only sat down at 7 after being on feet since 7.30 this morning so its a fair balance lol.

gonna try a spin class tomo night so wish me luck. im fighting with doggy ben at mo he has too much energy!!

sarah xx
 
morning

oficial weigh in and 2.5lb down . its a start not a huge start but it means im back in 17 teens and happy that im in the zone.

having a problem still with breakfast jus dont want to eat but jus have to force a cereal bar or apple. i can ignore hungeer so thats a bonus lol.

have a nice sunday everyone.

sarah xx
 
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