I've got the fear!

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by VWBeetleGirl, 23 November 2009.

  1. VWBeetleGirl

    VWBeetleGirl Chilli Queen!

    Ok, so this may seem pathetic but I am absolutely petrified as this week I have to go away (to meet the OH's family) and we have tables booked in nice restaurants on Fri & Sat and we are staying over with people I've never met on Sat/Sun.

    I have been trying so hard but I know that I am going to gain next week and I'm losing so slowly as it is and this is going to stick a spanner in the works big-time.

    I'm probably being irrational and know that this is supposed to be long term and that I have to have a life etc. but I am dreading it.

  2. Fallen Angel

    Fallen Angel Starting again!!

    We regularly go to my FIL's for the weekend - you couldn't imagine a less SW-friendly house - whole milk, crunchy nut cereal, no fruit, pies for dinner (OH makes an excuse to cook though and makes SW food ;) ) and I've got to the point of getting sick of hearing myself say 'I can't have that/No thanks'.
    So I take my own food (weighed out Crunchy Bran), my milk in a bottle, sugar free squash in a bottlei-fi bars, yoghurts, fruit etc.
    Ok, so this may not be possible for you this weekend (especially with people you haven't met & restaurants) but for the rest of the food that's offered, I just pretend I'm a really healthy eater (doesn't come naturally!). I'll have minimal milk, pick salads & plain meat where poss and decline the second/third glass of wine (I can't decline totally) and this usually gets me through. Don't look at the menu and be scared, just ask yourself what you'd like that is healthy?
    You can always use flexi syns (set a higher target, keep counting and stick to it) drink plenty of water while you're away then get onto the speed foods etc when you get back!
    Life does get in the way sometimes but it doesn't have to be a disaster.

    Sorry for the ramble - hope that made sense!

    C xx
  3. Mrs V

    Mrs V Loves Life!

    Hun...I've spent all weekend thinking I cant have this and I cant have that and trying my hardest to be good (after Hubby bought me cakes for my Birthday last week) I got on the scales this morning and for my efforts sts. I cant tell you how fed up I am...but.....if I were in your shoes, I would go and have a lovely time and just eat sensibly.
    Dont spend all weekend thinking that you cant otherwise you just arent going to enjoy things.
  4. VWBeetleGirl

    VWBeetleGirl Chilli Queen!

    Thanks Hun, I think it's partly to do with the fact that I wanted to lose weight before this happened (don't want OH's Mum to think I'm fat - never met her before) and I haven't and it's here and now have to just get on with it as best I can.

    I feel so irrational for thinking this way!
  5. cocktailprincess

    cocktailprincess Still rockin' it

    Mate- that is not irrational at all. I bet everyone on here has felt EXACTLY like that on occasion.

    Sounds like you have a lot of anxiety about this weekend, not just to do with food, but it may be manifesting itself as a diet thing. This is just normal anxiety- I am sure you will fell much better when you meet this lady/these people and you are put at your ease- just think, she may be feeling exactly the same way about her insecurities and meeting you!

    Good luck, mate- you CAN do this!
  6. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Well-Known Member

    My best advise would to be be as good as humanly possible and dont be afraid to say no to things you don't want to eat, the first time i met Oh's parents i wasnt on sw, so i ate everything and anything.. and so when i began sw, it took them AGES to stop offering chocolate and fresh bread etc.. or buying me foods i couldnt eat etc. make it known you eat healthily, because then they will know for the next time, you wont recieve food for xmas pressies, and they wont go out of thier way to offer you that slice of cake etc, or bring attention to the fact you declined that glass of wine... do you know what i mean?

    youl be fine, dont stress.. act natural.. this is your way of life, this is how you eat, and no matter who they are.. or what your doing your always going to stick as best to it as you can.

  7. VWBeetleGirl

    VWBeetleGirl Chilli Queen!

    Thanks everyone, yes you're right - it's not just the food making me anxious (although it is a bit part of it - I hate eating in front of people, especially people I don't know). OH's ex was small and blonde and I'm the exact opposite of her; tall, curvy (friendly- hahaha!) and I just don't know what they are going to expect from me.

    Thanks for the support though, you've made me feel less crazy!
  8. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Well-Known Member

    were all crazy here hon dw!

    i do totally understand, but after a while i just decided i didnt give to ***** if they thought i was obbsessive, or silly etc.. i was gunna be loosing weight and it was gunna pay off at the end of the week, rather than caving just because they expected me to eat the same etc.

    set a standard. let them know this is how you eat and they will never expect anything different..

    plus, meeting OH's parents is always scary, and staying with people you dont know is never comfortable..

    atleast you'l be meeting your Oh's parents in a resteraunt...

    i was in bed..... :O
  9. missmalibu

    missmalibu Well-Known Member

    not much i can add here, other than if you feel daunted by comparisons between you and the ex, just think shes an ex for a reason, youre the one who is with him, so there must have been something wrong with her hehe! Have a lovely weekend
  10. VWBeetleGirl

    VWBeetleGirl Chilli Queen!

    Haha! At least my OH's parents live 6000 miles away so I do get a bit of notice if they are coming over!!
  11. Lucky7

    Lucky7 Well-Known Member

    LOLOLOL :8855:

    Well, as she's his EX, and mum's being what they are, I should imagine they'll be fairly pleased you aren't like her. Especially the friendly bit.

    I don't think it'd hurt to take some of your own food with you, just in case it feels 'right' to have the SW conversation with his mum. Maybe take a couple of the magazines with you too, then they will see what you're doing without you having to explain everything to them in detail.

    Good luck - just be yourself and they'll love you!
  12. VWBeetleGirl

    VWBeetleGirl Chilli Queen!

    Well, she's staying with us for the first few days and the day she comes is WI day so hopefully when she asks how my day was I can say (and this is in dream land, not real land!!) "Yeah, brilliant thanks I lost 3lbs at Slimming World today, how was your flight?!'

    Apparently they didn't like the ex as she was 'overbearing' (MIL words, not mine) and apparently I'm nothing like that (according to the OH, not sure the people I manage at work would agree!).

    Fingers crossed!
  13. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Well-Known Member


    if it makes you feel any better, my man was a complete man slag before he got with me, and would date a different girl each week, so for the first 6 months his mother treated me like i was just another girl. . it was lovley :D LOL jokes.
    the last girl who lasted more than a week before me was tall, blonde, and about a size 6, .. and if i'm honest, had a face like a rat (in my opnion haha)
    i was 5'2, a size 18, dark hair.. with red flashes :O LOL

    long story short, his mother finally warmed to me, (despite the rocky patch when he moved in and left home haha ) its been almost 2 years.. and his ex still looks like a rat :)
  14. VWBeetleGirl

    VWBeetleGirl Chilli Queen!

    That just made me choke on my apple! Brilliant!

    Good for you!

    Good hair also (not that I'm biased or anything... mine's dark red!)
  15. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Well-Known Member

    Haha. i'd love to be a proper red head, but my face can't handle a dark red, and i'v got a thing about having glossy hair, and due to the abuse my hair has endured it cant be glossy and red, hence my dark brunette colour, it always looks dry if its red.

    Dont choke on your apple :D - although it would solve your problem haha
  16. VWBeetleGirl

    VWBeetleGirl Chilli Queen!

    Ok, so today's the day. It's WI and MIL day.

    I feel sick...
  17. cocktailprincess

    cocktailprincess Still rockin' it

    You will be FINE mate

    Please try and enjoy your visit

  18. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Well-Known Member


    Dw, the worst than can happen is that you are in fact sick, and end up weighing lighter at WI.

    So joking there :) lol

    - *hugs* breathe deep.. and remember, so what if she doesnt like you. you love her son and your son loves you. F*ck the MIL. you'v only gotta see her at family occasions and various holidays. lol!

  19. sassie

    sassie Well-Known Member

    I agree with Fern. If your OH loves you, the chances that his mum will too and if she doesn't, she's a fool :)

    Good luck with WI. Keep us posted!
  20. minn_82

    minn_82 Well-Known Member

    Also can I add that doing SW is a positive thing and is a true testament to your character so be proud of the fact your doing it hun, most MIL's would be happy to see that you have such a healthy positive mindframe. So hold your head high and be proud, you are you and his ex's are ex's. Have a great time and enjoy it! Let us know how it goes. x

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