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I've wasted my life on my appearance :'(

Yasmine

One last chance
#1
When I was out on saturday for my friends birthday, it was the first time I was going out with my friends clubbing and not drinking. I felt alright in the first two hours of the party but after a while, when everyone gets drunk, and you're the only one who isn't, it can really be irratating, feeling left out and just get bored.

Most of the time I was reflecting on what I have been doing all my life, from childhood to my teen years, and I realised that, I have never had fun, I never enjoyed myself, not really.

I never played like the normal kids did because I was scared of others picking fun on me, since I was the only obese child in my class, well I actually saw that I was the biggest even in the playground. In secondary school it got worse, the taunting went from hurtful to heartbreaking. I never left the house, only to go to school. I was terrified of being seen by others because I knew what they were thinking. I never went to parties, I always kept to myself, all because of my image.

Even now, 19 years old, and I still don't allow myself to act the age I am. I am yet again punishing myself because of my appearance. I find that dieting is a punishment for me being the weight I am, even though 80% of my obesity was not my doing. I was born a whopping 13lbs, was obese throughout my kid and teen years, not obese anymore but I still feel that I am way too big.

The sad thing is, is that I can't get those years back, I know I'm still young but, I've missed out on so much :break_diet: It really isn't fair.

Sorry for the negativity I just really needed to share this.
 
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#3
But at the age you are you will have your weight sorted before you hit your 20s. Do it for then and enjoy the rest of your life!

Wish I would have sorted my at 19 and not waited until 32! I did kinda get on track when I was 22, but fell off the wagon.

Sometimes these moments of self reflection help us realise what we want, and what we need to do to get to it.

Good luck
 
#4
Like you I have been big most of my life, but I have left it till now to sort it out. I am 46 and feel I should have done it sooner but I can't turn the clock back.
We can never get them years back, but we can look forward now, we are on track. !!!!!!
You are still young and you have made one of life's big decision. ... To be slim and healthily.
Because of what you have been though in your younger life it as made you in to strong woman now.
You can do and you are doing for you, no one else.
((((((((BIG HUG))))))))
 
#5
And I'm 56!!!
My LLC would say don't waste your time on shoulda, woulda, coulda.
Look forwards. Yasmine, you are young, you are tall, you are pretty and you are not huge, you haven't got shed loads of weight to lose.
In a few months you'll be a "normal" healthy size, you won't feel so self-conscious (all young people do), you'll be able to wear what you like and go out socialising with friends.
The world will be there for the taking - enjoy it.
You'll be great as long as you don't revert back to your old ways when you get to your goal.
A healthy lifestyle needs to become part of your life.
Don't waste time on regrets. Enjoy life NOW.
Good luck. :)
 

-Tally-

Silver Member
#6
I wish I had have had the forethought to sort myself out at 19...I wasted not only my teens but twenties too. You're soo young and if you stick with it you'll have so much of your youth left to enjoy. It IS a postive that you've realised it now and not another 15 years from now. xx
 

Yasmine

One last chance
#7
Thanks everyone for the support. It's just really hard to let go, but I addressed this issue in group so I don't feel that bad about it. I guess there is nothing I can do but to just start a new now :)
 

Pinkie :)

Slowly shrinking again!
#8
Aww, that's exactly the way to think of it Yasmine!... Today is the start of a whole new you... you're doing it, you're not gonna recognice yourself, so confident and sociable... ;)

You're doing so well hunny... and such efforts deserve great rewards... and you're in for them, I can tell!

Keep with it... We're all here for you if you need us... :)

xx
 

Yasmine

One last chance
#9
Thanks Pinkie I always try to remind myself the happiness being a size 10 brought a year ago. I also have a dress I keep to keep me focused. I can party in it when I reach target and make my boyfriend fall in love all over again ;)
 
#10
All I can say is atleast you're doing something about it and you're doing well by the looks of it!

With me it was the other way around when I was younger, I used to be a stick and some people said I looked disgusting but then the years finally caught up with me and because of life changes I went from being super skinny to overweight and now I'm trying to lose it just to have an average BMI, I don't want to be like a stick again either because I've seen some pictures of myself when I was younger and I do actually look unhealthy being skinny.
 

Yasmine

One last chance
#11
True say but I wished I was slim when young no matter how much I ate. I have a friend who's like that. She can eat around 3000 calories a day and she will not gain weight even though she is desperetly trying to. I know it will catch up with her by the time she's 30 or so but I wouldn't mind that happening to me lol.

Thanks for the advice :)
 


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