Yasmine
One last chance
When I was out on saturday for my friends birthday, it was the first time I was going out with my friends clubbing and not drinking. I felt alright in the first two hours of the party but after a while, when everyone gets drunk, and you're the only one who isn't, it can really be irratating, feeling left out and just get bored.
Most of the time I was reflecting on what I have been doing all my life, from childhood to my teen years, and I realised that, I have never had fun, I never enjoyed myself, not really.
I never played like the normal kids did because I was scared of others picking fun on me, since I was the only obese child in my class, well I actually saw that I was the biggest even in the playground. In secondary school it got worse, the taunting went from hurtful to heartbreaking. I never left the house, only to go to school. I was terrified of being seen by others because I knew what they were thinking. I never went to parties, I always kept to myself, all because of my image.
Even now, 19 years old, and I still don't allow myself to act the age I am. I am yet again punishing myself because of my appearance. I find that dieting is a punishment for me being the weight I am, even though 80% of my obesity was not my doing. I was born a whopping 13lbs, was obese throughout my kid and teen years, not obese anymore but I still feel that I am way too big.
The sad thing is, is that I can't get those years back, I know I'm still young but, I've missed out on so much :break_diet: It really isn't fair.
Sorry for the negativity I just really needed to share this.
Most of the time I was reflecting on what I have been doing all my life, from childhood to my teen years, and I realised that, I have never had fun, I never enjoyed myself, not really.
I never played like the normal kids did because I was scared of others picking fun on me, since I was the only obese child in my class, well I actually saw that I was the biggest even in the playground. In secondary school it got worse, the taunting went from hurtful to heartbreaking. I never left the house, only to go to school. I was terrified of being seen by others because I knew what they were thinking. I never went to parties, I always kept to myself, all because of my image.
Even now, 19 years old, and I still don't allow myself to act the age I am. I am yet again punishing myself because of my appearance. I find that dieting is a punishment for me being the weight I am, even though 80% of my obesity was not my doing. I was born a whopping 13lbs, was obese throughout my kid and teen years, not obese anymore but I still feel that I am way too big.
The sad thing is, is that I can't get those years back, I know I'm still young but, I've missed out on so much :break_diet: It really isn't fair.
Sorry for the negativity I just really needed to share this.