James' first crisis on Lipotrim - ironically happening after it.

[vJames]

My current mood: ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I'm on to my second day of basically my "normal routine" and I'll tell you one thing - it is not a routine. Holy Hell in crap what do I even do now? When do I eat? What do I eat?

I had one of the most crappy/strange days yesterday and I didn't even eat anything bad. I woke up and went to find breakfast but as there was no porridge in the house I struggled to think of what I could eat so just had an apple. I didn't eat again till a small low-fat yogurt at around 3pm at my baby cousins birthday party/BBQ thing. My nana had baked cakes for the party and wanted me to try one but I couldn't bring myself to do it so I went in the house with the cake and hid it and told her I'd eaten it and it was great. I then ignored the BBQ citing I didn't want to eat any of the white buns (I could have just had a burger on its own).

I had my tea around 6pm which was turkey breast, salad, wholemeal pitta & balsamic vinegar - I felt great. Healthy meal which tasted good and I was happy. Went to play football for 4 hours with my banana and finished off my daily 4 litres of water when I was there. I came home around 9pm and was a little peckish so had a tiny bowl (and I mean tiny by my standards) of Branflakes with semi-skimmed milk and after finishing it just felt disgusted in myself that I'd eaten Branflakes and also eaten so late at night. They're only Branflakes?!

I'm actually quite worried about myself because I'm absolutely terrified about gaining weight so I'm just not eating and thinking no calories in = maintenance/loss. I really don't like what this diet has done to my mental attitude; on the one hand it was good to learn to eat healthily, eaten small portions & eat often, but on the other hand I'm now trying my best to avoid eating all together.

I have my first night out on Saturday as a kind of treat because I've felt like a recluse the last 9-10 weeks and I want to look as thin as possible for it so this week I literally just don't want to eat anything & exercise loads which I know is both a) unhealthy as I'll store fat, and b). stupid in that I'll pass out.

Today I've got my normal salad, chicken, banana & yoghurt combo for work and it feels like the only thing I can afford to eat at the moment. Hoping I can get over this before it ends up turning into some eating disorder.

Blagh get my back on the shakes; they were easy.

 

[Emmy_lu]

It is hard james, when I come off last time I ended up going back on after a week and half then when I've come off last week ive felt the same, as in what do I do. Every time I eat I do it secretly like its wrong and keep looking in the mirror to see if I look bigger its a horrible feeling. I want to go back on the shakes but I go away in 3 weeks so there's no point as won't be able to stick to shakes in turkey. I really hate this normal eating thing and worried it will get out of control so I'm thinking of joining weight watchers just so I know how much is normal to eat. Difference with me tho is that I put on weight with both my refeeds where as you did exceptionly well and shouldn't be worrying as much as you are, you look great in your pics! Maybe set a calorie goal for your self and use fitness tracker to track what you eat so you know your eating enough. You don't want to end up making yourself ill by starving yourself, good luck james x

 

[vJames]

Thanks Emma

I know it just sounds so silly how weird life after this diet is. I mean I never envisaged it'd be just be like eating normally and pretending we'd never even done TFR but this is just strange to me. I mean it's only been a couple of days post refeed so maybe it's just another adjustment and I'll soon get into the swing of things.

I was thinking of calorie counting but firstly I don't want to get obsessed with it, and secondly I don't know what a healthy amount of calories I should be eating each day to maintain. My mum has told me I need to eat more or I'll just keep losing it (I know this is bad as I've lost enough but a part of me wants this).

Hope you're still chirpy in 3 weeks for your holiday. You've done great ^^

 

[Dunder Doodles]

Hi James!
Sorry to hear you are feeling like this....I don't think you are alone. A lot of people, including myself are really anxious about life after TFR.
Perhaps you could reach out to a dietician via your GP, this is something I am doing as I need to re-educate myself about healthy eating and moderation as I'm looking to do my re-feed in around 6 weeks ahead of our family holiday to Italy.
It's important you are recognising you've got a potential issue here...I'd really encourage you to talk to your GP now so you can get access to some support.
Remember, we are all here for you! Good luck.

 

[vJames]

Thanks & I know it's not the diets purpose to support us AFTER we've completed the programme which is why I'm so confused right now because I weirdly never really planned for an after even though I knew there was one - if that makes any sense.

I hope I'm just being silly about it all but if not I think I may have to consult my GP before it gets any worse. I can't do this every day for the rest of my life; it was easier being fat.

 

[Soontobeskinnyminnie]

Hi James,

Sorry to hear you feel like this, in ways I'm sure we will all feel like this afterwards. There are plenty of sites online and apps for your phone which help you calorie count, I like My Fitness Pal, check it out if you haven't already.. There is no thinking required, you tell it your height and weight and select how much weight per week you would like to gain/lose or maintain and it tells you how many calories a day you are entitled too to achieve the progress and result you want. It also tells you what percentage of carbs/protein/fat you are entitled to, I used this before I tried Lipotrim and managed to shift 1st3lbs in a month just calorie counting. If you have tried this route or you still don't feel 100% doing this solo then I think a trip to your doctor would be best to seek help about food and weight management. When you say you have no routine, make one? Set yourself times and meals on Saturday or Sunday for the following week, go and shop for the food and then you can prepare it in bulk or as and when you want to. Just give yourself some rules if rules and routine are what you best stick to. Good luck x x x

 

[Dunder Doodles]

James - when I look at your stats, you were never fat, just ever so SLIGHTLY overweight - don't be so hard on yourself!

 

[vJames]

Thanks for the reply ladies

@Dunder - I know I wasn't particularly fat but I felt it and this meant that I thought I looked it. I'm really happy with where I am at the moment and hope to stay like this and improve my body at the gym. I just hope I don't end up losing even more or gaining loads.

@STBSM - My pharmacist told me that those proposed calorie counters aren't particularly good at factoring in exercise so I shouldn't follow their daily amount "guides". I'll have a look into it. I mean it's not like right now I could possibly get fat because I'm not getting enough calories in like at all. I've only had like 300 so far today and that was breakfast, snack & lunch. I do need to create some routine though I just should have made one during refeed as I'm now out of it into the big bad food world and lost in a sea of options.

 

[Dunder Doodles]

Maybe you just need to keep it simple for a couple of weeks, basic menu that provides 100% RDA of essential vits and minerals, that isn't too calorific - I'm sure there are endless meal plans you can download off the net - this may take some of the anxiety/pressure off you having to make choices....then, once you are feeling ok that eating a realistic amount of food/calories a day, is not going to result in any weight gain, you can take it to the next level and plan your own menu

 

[vJames]

I think I'd best look into some of those. I was thinking of maybe the LT Maintenance programme but I don't feel like I really need to be on a programme anymore as it's just not the routine I want to be living my life in. I'll see if I can follow any WW meal plans just to get some ideas.

 

[and]

Maybe join weight watchers? I found that was quite interesting as it gives everything points - you can see what's full of calories and what's not. A couple of months on that an I think you should have a good idea of what a balanced diet is.