January 2009 - Starters

[EmVeg]

Confession time...of some sort.

I very, very near lapsed today. I didn't but I was [--] close. Last night was the first time the family had one of those increadibly unhealthy foods of convienience that we used to have 3-4 times a week. It didn't actually bother me when the were having it, and I was very proud of myself.

But last night I had a dream where I lapsed. Or - and I'm sorry if this is confusing. I had a dream that I DREAMT I had lapsed, and then woke up and did.

I woke up extremely guilty and very confused. Becuase a dream was involved in the dream I really didn't know if I had or not.

I ended up downstairs with the leftovers in front of me. I don't know how I got there, and I don't know WHY I was there but I just sat and stared at it. A couple of times I even found myself reaching for picking.

Sitting there I told myself "I can't resist this - why am I even bothering."

But I did. I still feel guilty, about the dream and about this morning.... but I didn't do it.

I don't want to do it, and better yet its invigorated me into wanting to understand what made me get that close.

Feeling kind of rubbish... I'm just trying to get through it.

 

[JessicaL]

Louale - 5th Jan - Week 2 - 6lbs - 13lbs Total - 5.11 stones to lose
Somewhere - 5th Jan - Week 2 - 5lbs - 13.5lb - 8st 0.5lb left to lose
Carl - 5th Jan - Week 0 - 0lb - 3 stone 9 lb to lose
Westie - 5th Jan - Week 2 - 10lb - 4.5 stone to lose
Indie - 5th Jan- Week 0 - 0lb - 5 stone to lose
Janey B - 5th Jan-Week2--4lb---12.5lb - 2st 1.5 to lose
Susianna - 5th Jan - Week 2 - 5.2lb - Total - 13.4lb - 77lb to go
Daisydoll - 6th Jan - Week 2 - 12lb - 2.7 stones left to lose
size102b - 6th Jan-week 0 - 0lbs - 0lbs 7 stone to lose
Gary girl forever - 7th jan - Week 1 - 8lb - 5 stones to lose
Emveg - 7th Jan - Week 2 - 6lb - 16lb total - 45lb to left to lose
sansukh - 7th Jan - Week 2 - 14lb - 3 stones to lose
T_o_t_I - 8th Jan - Week 1 - 9lb - 5 stone to lose
misswee - 09 Jan - week 2 - 11.5lb - 4.5 stone to lose
JessicaL - 12th Jan - Week 2 - 4lb - 13lb - 3 st 11 lbs left to lose
Foxtrot - 12th Jan - Week 1 - 6lb - 3stone 8lb left to lose
SexyBecks1 - 13th Jan - Week 0 - 0lb - 5 stone to lose
Beverley - 13th Jan - Week 2 - 18lbs - 9 stone to lose
PurpleButterfly - 14th Jan - week 2 - 12.5lb - roughly 4st to lose
Sue P - 14th Jan - Week 0 - 0lb - 6 stone to lose
thin_inside - 14 Jan - Week 1 - 14lb - 8 stone to lose
jo1 -17th Jan -Week 1 - 12lb - 12lb - 6st 2lb stone to lose
Becca - 20th Jan - Week 0 - 0lb - 3.5 stone to lose

4lb off this week so i'm pleased! xx

 

[westiegirl]

Em, I can relate to what you've said. I've not lapsed but the very first weekend I wanted to really badly and the guilt for actually feeling that was worse than if I had actually lapsed.

I felt like by even just starting to do LL I should have banished the desire to eat, but that's not how it works. We're still only at the start of out journey and have a lot yet to learn about ourselves.

Turn that feeling of rubbishness into pride that you did resist. You did!!! How easy it would have been with it there in front of you to just give in! Feel pride that it has made you want to explore the feelings even more and complete your journey

 

[westiegirl]

Welcome Catgirl and good luck for tomorrow

 

[westiegirl]

How is everyone doing with regards to side effects? Getting any? Coping ok if you are?

For me, I realise from journalling I'm really moody, i.e. one minute I'm up and next I'm down. Anyone else like this, and have your moods stabilised?
Also I find I get cold easily now.
Other than that I'm all good!

I agree about the moods - I'm all over the place - it's funny but I have moments when something doesn't go right when all I can explain it feeling like is rage! Very odd as I'm so laid back most of the time. I rationalise it and it passes in a moment or too, but still very weird. I've also found myself teary at all sorts of things (even the blinking footy yesterday nearly set me off ).

Good news though is I felt like this last time and does settle - especially when the euphoria of the fantastic weight loss takes over

 

[EmVeg]

Thanks WG. Oh, and Catgirl - sorry if this has made my "it does get easier" speech earlier look like rubbish but for the majority of the time it is.

 

[westiegirl]

That's the only trouble with all this, not knowing what size you are going to really settle at!!!!

I did 3.5 lbs this week, more than I thought but my heart hasn't been in it because of tomorrow and, although I stuck to the plan, I don't think you lose as well if your head's not in it. Out of ketosis by tonight, I hope, then crack on with it all again from Tuesday!!

I've done a timelapse countdown too. I finish on Easter Sunday!

Good luck for tomorrow Foxtrot xxx

 

[PurpleButterfly]

EmVeg - has your LLC told you about the 1% thing?

JIC and for those who don't know it, I'll explain. It means that when you see that yummy food you really really want and your chatterbox is going mad, you just have to want to stick to your diet 1% more than you want that food. And remind yourself you are CHOOSING to diet; noone is forcing you to with a gun to your head. So you're choosing to abstain as well.
So congrats, you managed to want to be thin 1% more!

 

[EmVeg]

I have to admit I have been a little disappointed with the counselling side of my meetings. I don't think anything is explained very well and its all a little disorganised.

But thank you PB - I guess I did want it 1%.

Now excuse me while I take the dog for a walk because family is eating their dinner and I don't know how long it will take before the 1% goes!

*wanders off*

 

[daisydoll]

hi there
welcome newbies and good luck.
TI good decision to tell them not to order you any food, what a motivator - and if you do get down, remember its only food, it will still be there when you come out the other side - and maybe when you do, you can go out with the bride and groom for a meal to celebrate.

daisy x

 

[daisydoll]

How is everyone doing with regards to side effects? Getting any? Coping ok if you are?

For me, I realise from journalling I'm really moody, i.e. one minute I'm up and next I'm down. Anyone else like this, and have your moods stabilised?
Also I find I get cold easily now.
Other than that I'm all good!

I'm cold too - my hubby is walking round in shorts and t shirt and im 3 layers and wrapped in a blanket too!

Ive been evil all weekend, really snappy and horrible. I'm due on tho, but i never get like this.

Not craving food at all - just cooked sunday dinner and watched them all eat, no probs. hope it stays like this.

my stomach does make very interesting noises at times tho, even tho 'im not hungry at all

daisy x

 

[daisydoll]

That's the only trouble with all this, not knowing what size you are going to really settle at!!!!

I did 3.5 lbs this week, more than I thought but my heart hasn't been in it because of tomorrow and, although I stuck to the plan, I don't think you lose as well if your head's not in it. Out of ketosis by tonight, I hope, then crack on with it all again from Tuesday!!

I've done a timelapse countdown too. I finish on Easter Sunday!

Louale - 5th Jan - Week 2 - 6lbs - 13lbs Total - 5.11 stones to lose
Somewhere - 5th Jan - Week 2 - 5lbs - 13.5lb - 8st 0.5lb left to lose
Carl - 5th Jan - Week 0 - 0lb - 3 stone 9 lb to lose
Westie - 5th Jan - Week 2 - 10lb - 4.5 stone to lose
Indie - 5th Jan- Week 0 - 0lb - 5 stone to lose
Janey B - 5th Jan-Week2--4lb---12.5lb - 2st 1.5 to lose
Susianna - 5th Jan - Week 2 - 5.2lb - Total - 13.4lb - 77lb to go
Daisydoll - 6th Jan - Week 2 - 12lb - 2.7 stones left to lose
size102b - 6th Jan-week 0 - 0lbs - 0lbs 7 stone to lose
Gary girl forever - 7th jan - Week 1 - 8lb - 5 stones to lose
Emveg - 7th Jan - Week 2 - 6lb - 16lb total - 45lb to left to lose
sansukh - 7th Jan - Week 2 - 14lb - 3 stones to lose
T_o_t_I - 8th Jan - Week 1 - 9lb - 5 stone to lose
misswee - 09 Jan - week 2 - 11.5lb - 4.5 stone to lose
JessicaL - 12th Jan - Week 1 - 9lb - 4 st 10 lbs to lose
Foxtrot - 12th Jan - Week 2 - 3.5lb - 9.5 total from 4 stone to lose
SexyBecks1 - 13th Jan - Week 0 - 0lb - 5 stone to lose
Beverley - 13th Jan - Week 2 - 18lbs - 9 stone to lose
PurpleButterfly - 14th Jan - week 2 - 12.5lb - roughly 4st to lose
Sue P - 14th Jan - Week 0 - 0lb - 6 stone to lose
thin_inside - 14 Jan - Week 1 - 14lb - 8 stone to lose
wilbeslim - 14th Jan - week 1 -5lbs - 4 stone to lose
jo1 -17th Jan -Week 1 - 12lb - 12lb - 6st 2lb stone to lose
Becca - 20th Jan - Week 0 - 0lb - 3.5 stone to lose

what do you meanyou will be out of ketosis?

daisy x

 

[westiegirl]

OMG, I am definately emotional, I'm teary at blinking Dancing on Ice WTF is going on

 

[daisydoll]

lol @westiegirl!
daisy x

 

[Foxtrot]

Big hugs Westie!!! :hug99: And thanks for the lucks tomorrow.

Hi Catgirl and welcome to loads of support.

I think I got your dream dream Em. Main thing is you're this side of it and talking about it and that's a huge step!!

Thin Inside and Daisy my knee op is tomorrow (7am!) and they won't give a general anaesthetic if Im in ketosis. It's just a blip, I'll be back!!!

 

[somewhere_inside_is_me]

Thin_inside - I agree with everyone else - assumr from now that you will abstain at the wedding, no-one will notice and you'll be looking so good by then you won't care.

EmVeg - I don't know about dreams within dreams but I have had a lot of (F word) dreams; thee worst was like yours in that someone bought me some (red liquid in a bottle) and I dreamt that I had drunk it and was very confused to find it still there in the morning!

 

[somewhere_inside_is_me]

Foxtrot -Wishing you a safe op tomorrow, and hope to see you back in ketosis very soon - you're very brave!

 

[thin_inside]

hi there
welcome newbies and good luck.
TI good decision to tell them not to order you any food, what a motivator - and if you do get down, remember its only food, it will still be there when you come out the other side - and maybe when you do, you can go out with the bride and groom for a meal to celebrate.

daisy x

Thanks Daisy. I do feel better for having made the decision not to eat at the wedding. I'm preparing food for the family without any problems watching them eat. I'm sure it will be easy peasy by week 15.

 

[thin_inside]

Safe op tomorrow Foxtrot. See you here in a short while, back in full ketosis .

SIIM - thanks. I have already declined the meals. Family fine with this. I can busy myself looking after the kids - my meal is always cold by the time I get to it anyway.

 

[stinkabell]

I started foundation yesterday! 24th January
Today was okay... keep running to the loo is the only negative.
Can't wait til next saturday