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Joanne's Thoughts

So having seen and read through so many other CD diaries, I thought I'd start one of my own. I'm actually on week 4 of the CD. Started on October 8, 2011 and have lost about 17lbs to date.
A bit about myself: I'm 22. Currently a third year medical student. I've been overweight for as long as I can remember (I think since around I was 14), but it wasn't till the last few years that I gained an exorbitant amount of weight ... hitting a BMI of >30! :eek: I never took my weight increase seriously. My family has always been worried about my weight but it never bothered me so much. But when I came home 5 weeks ago, something changed. I realized I couldn't go on like this, and I was at my heaviest weight ever - 215lbs! My dad was the one that told me about the CD. He had heard recommendations about it from previous CD'ers. I'd never really been on any specific diet before, aside from just starving myself or trying to cut back on food, so I was a bit skeptical about the CD since it is pretty much a starvation diet. I wondered if I wouldn't gain all the weight back once I stopped. But that's a worry for another day, and since reading the forums, I'm starting to believe the weight can be kept off.
The reason I'm on this diet now is because honestly, I don't see any other way of how I could possibly manage to lose all this weight. I've tried to cut back on food and incorporate exercise, but I've become such a slave to food, I'd never stick to the plan. I'm a stress/boredom/emotional/craving-satisfying/you-name-it eater. And I'm worried about going on like this into my 20's and 30's. :( So I think CD is great that way because it just completely wipes food out of your life at least for a couple of months and helps you in that time period to gain some control over your life and your eating habits. I've been thinking less about food and eating/planning meals doesn't take up any of my time now! :D
It's not easy, but I know at the end of the journey, it will be worth it.
Sorry for such a long post, and thank you all for reading!
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Hi iLumina,

sounds like you're doing really well so far. I've been on CD for almost 7 weeks and loving it! :) Keep going and lots of luck

hello and welcome - congratulations on your successful start. this really is a great diet for giving you a break from your compulsions around food, and giving you the breathing space to adjust your perspectives.

well done for nipping this in the bud so young, too. I wish I had.

Well done so far :) I am on week 3 so a little bit behind you. Are you doing SS or SS+?

Good luck with it all! I wish I started it when I was 22 not 27!
SS+ I dont think I would cope socially on SS! But I am pleased so far as I have lost 16lbs :)

You are doing so well though.

Have you decided what you will do over xmas - i would like to maintain i think and try and join in and eat a few meals
iLumina88 said:
Thank you all for the kind words. :)

Charlie-Lauren, I'm on SS. Hope I'll have lost enough weight to start SS+ by early Jan. What about you?
Hello, congrats on your awesome loss so far, just wanted to mention that ss and ss + weight losses aren't really any different from what I can see. I did ss + up until the last couple of weeks where I'm working back up the steps. Just some people find it easier to stick to ss with a break from all conventional food. For me ss + was perfect, I loved having mt little meal in the eve and would have struggled without it.
Good luck xx
charlie-lauren and shrinkin'violet ... wow, you guys must have a lot of will power to do SS+. :) I actually think I would cheat a lot if I was on SS+. Knowing that food is just off limits actually helps me keep away from it and focus on the diet. I have to admit, I did cheat a couple of days ago. I was craving some actual food soooo bad .. haha, so I gave in and had just a couple of bites here and there. I was scared I would gain at least a couple of pounds but I didn't and when I exercised, I actually lost another 2lbs or so! LOL So idk, but I'm beginning to wonder if maybe a little food now and then isn't all that bad a thing since maybe it kick starts your metabolism a bit.

C-L, I really have no clue what I'm going to do over Christmas. So far I've been thinking that I should just stick to the diet and not have any meals (I'm scared about gaining weight and then finding it hard to get back on the diet) .. BUT december is when my birthday is! Not to mention Christmas is right there and so is New Years! So I honestly don't know. Unless I lose another 25kgs by mid-Dec, I don't think I'll be able to start maintaining.

On a happy note, and I feel a bit odd saying this, but I got my period! I know most women hate getting their period, but I have PCOS and my periods have been so irregular, that this is just really uplifting. It's great to realize the benefits of weight loss on your health in addition to the way you look! :)
Oh and a bit of a random question to any ladies that have lost a significant amount of weight on CD ... did you find that your bra size changed when you lost the weight? I've just been really curious. LOL
Im a 36DD and would love to get down to a 34 C/D. I know my birthday is straight after! So hard I think i may just join in on Xmas day and NYE and my birthday (not go mad) and just get right back on SS+ after! Or the other alternative is do 5 more weeks on SS+ and a week on 810 and a week on 1000 and try and stay on 1000 until 4 Jan! So hard! Any ideas welcome!

My friend has pcos and she is always happy when hers arrives, i would never know how that feels as mine is nearly always to the day and it does make me feel lucky as I know how much it upsets her. So good for you :)
I've lost 50lbs and gone down 1 bra size (36K to 34JJ) but i'm beginning to feel a bit loose in the cups again, so hopefully I'll go down at least one more cup before I go down another back size. my boobs need to shrink, godammit, and it's so much easier to find bras below or in an H cup, or especially a G and below.

btw - in my experience, the minimum number of bras you need in any given size as you shrink is three - but you have to be absolutely organised with washing.
good news on the period front. beware though, cd makes you super fertile!

ps - love your diary.
Hi everyone,
So I've been MIA for the last four weeks. I've had to move to NYC for a clinical rotation and that's just affected my weight loss a lot. I was good the first 2-3 weeks, but since then it's gone downhill and now I'm sitting here hating myself for lack of determination to just press on. So basically, I'm here for 6 weeks, which means when I left home, I had to take with me about 6 weeks worth of SS supplies. But the weather here is different from the weather at home, and my likes and dislikes somehow changed abruptly once I got here and I've been really bad at sticking to the diet. I brought a bunch of the bars with me, but those are long gone. All I have now are the tetras and shakes and this is the worst part ... I have absolutely no desire to eat any of it. I loved it back home, but I don't know if it was because of the weather or what. Also this past week was Thanksgiving here in the US and I spent it with family, which means I ate regular food. The bad part is that I just continued on Thanksgiving mode for the past week and ate all kinds of crap and now have put on like 3-4kgs. It's upsetting because I put in so much effort and I can't believe I just couldn't say "no" and stick to my diet. It's been really hard since I got here though, because I live in a house with about 4 of my friends and it's very tempting to see them eat regular food and cooking meals when I have to be drinking shakes and tetras. It was a lot easier when I was home because my parents are very diet conscious and there was just so much more support. I had planned to lose at least 5-6kgs in these 6 weeks, but instead have gained back 3-4kgs and won't meet my Christmas target! :( I wanted to meet my weight loss target by Dec. 31 so I could start maintaining by the start of Jan. I really don't want to go home fatter in 3 weeks time. I keep deciding in my head that I'm going to start back on SS, but the temptation of regular food is driving me crazy. I've done SS before, so it's not like I can't do it. But b/c food is so tempting I didn't know if I should maybe substitute a small meal at dinner time or something, but then I feel like I am just being weak. :mad: Ugh. I'm just so frustrated with myself. I've also been meaning to exercise but that hasn't been going to well either. It's usually around 4 by the time I get home, by which time the sun usually sets and I don't feel comfortable going out in the dark. And I don't have a gym membership here. I've been meaning to start running ... I don't know how many of you CD'ers out there have started to run since starting the CD, but if you have any tips/advice for a first time runner, they'd be much appreciated.
Sorry to vent, and I know the work of the past 4 weeks have been my fault. I want to pick myself up so badly, but I'm lacking support and motivation. Wish I hadn't disappeared from the forums for 4 weeks. :cry:
Hi there, sounds like you need to give yourself a break lovely nd think about what you have done not what you haven't! Admitting that things are not going well is always tough, and in your current situation I can understand the pressures. I travel for work and just have chocolate tetras. I can't trust myself with the bars (yet)' and for me the limitations are good. I'm not sure if I could manage a meal at the moment without going OTT.

To my mind, you just need to make a decision. Which is sometimes so hard, but puts you back in control. The spiral stops and you get the power back. Wether that decision is to eat and increase excercise while you are away, or go back on SS it'll be your choice not the choice of your environment.

Please keep posting and let us know how you go xx

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