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Just so so fed up

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by lisalulu, 16 April 2009 Social URL.

  1. lisalulu

    lisalulu Silver Member

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    Sorry in advance for a negative thread, but I need to vent.

    Today has been such a bad day. I've been 100%, but have been close to caving in and eating a few times. I've had my 3 packs, and I'm still really hungry. Properly hungry. I feel light headed, dizzy, shaky and generally a bit 'off'. Kinda an out of body feeling. I just feel like crying. I'm in ketosis, and have been 100% for over a week, so I can't understand why I'm feeling like this. I've been really good this week but my scales say I've sts, its really getting me down.

    A year ago tomorrow, I lost somebody who I was very close to suddenly and it took me a long time (and 2 stone in weight gain) to get back to day-to-day life again. I'm dreading the visit to the crematorium, dreading trying not to comfort eat to block it all out, and especially dreading trying to explain to CDC why I haven't lost anything at my WI tomorrow evening because I just don't know why I haven't.

    I'm so fed up. I feel like packing it all in and having a chinese/indian/fish and chips... or all 3. I really don't know anymore if this diet is for me.
     
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  3. AbsolutelyFabulous

    AbsolutelyFabulous Absolutely Determined!

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    Aw Lisa, I'm so sorry that you feel this way :(
    Try and put it into perspective...you're bound to be craving right now because you are tired and emotional, and understandably so. I imagine tomorrow is going to really difficult for you - so rather than feeling deprived, could you not just use SS as the one thing within your control right now, if you know what i mean? When everything else is seemingly out of your control, what you put in your body is absolutely up to you.
    Nobody can make the decision for you - ultimately it's your choice. Try and reaffirm why you wanted to do this in the first place. Weigh that up against how you will feel if you have your takeaway. I wish i could say something more helpful. We're all here for you though, whatever you decide xxx
     
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  4. vixhicks

    vixhicks Member

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    DON'T GIVE UP!

    I heard about someone that didn't lose anything the one week and then lost 10lb the following week which was her best ever loss.

    If you've stuck to it 100% then it's probably your hormones playing you up and the scales will show a bigger loss next week. Please don't give up for a moment's pleasure - I know I'm only on day 4 so I can't really talk....(!). You'll enjoy your chinese/fish and chips/indian while you eat it and as soon as you take the last mouthful you'll regret it PLUS it will taste so much better as a reward to yourself once you reach your goal. I always tell myself that going out for the chinese meal I am craving at the moment will be so much better once I am gloriously thin at last!!

    HUGE TREMENDOUS HUGS! You can do this.

    xx
     
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  5. Serena A

    Serena A Can't think of a title

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    Hey Lisa, so sorry you are having a hard time :hug99:

    If you're anything like me then I imagine you've been in tears/close to crying quite a few times because of your weight, especially when trying to find things to wear for Christmas, celebrations and all that. How down did you feel then? What made you turn to CD in the first place?

    Something that really helped me not to give into comfort eating was the quote "If food is not the problem then eating is not the solution". My dad passed away whilst I was doing SS but I stuck to CD, AbFab gave some great advice about CD being one thing that's controllable.

    Stay strong or you will just give yourself another reason to feel down.

    Hugs xxx
     
    Last edited: 16 April 2009
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  6. curlywurly1234

    curlywurly1234 Cambridge Consultant

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    :flowers:
    Hey Lisa,
    Just wanted to send you big hugs hon!!
    When you have tough times in your life is when most of us usually turn to food!!

    You are doing so well.. as you know I was hungry as well too today.. but Im over it now.. You are obviously feeling very emotional but the food isnt going to help you!!

    I wont say to you dont get on the scales as in previous posts we are both the same jump on and off all the time. but tomorrow is another day and you may have lost a few pounds when you get on !

    Hang in there hon . your doing fab.. if you ever want to chat just pm me!!!

    take care and chin up and I hope your day tomorrow is as okish as it can be..

    big hugs x
     
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  7. lisalulu

    lisalulu Silver Member

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    Thanks guys, it really does mean alot that you replied. I don't know what has come over me today, but I was up all night with my daughter who is poorly, I'm stressed cause the estate agents messed up a viewing of our house (which put h2b in a foul mood too) and everything just piled on top of me.

    You're all so right though... eating is not the answer. I can control this, I can control the rest of my life. I will admit that I caved and nibble this evening, but I made what I consider to be as wise a choice as possible. I had 2 celery sticks with 2 tablespoons of some homemade, low fat natural yoghurt and mint dip. I feel so much better now, no more shaking or crying. Whether it was my body or my mind that needed to eat, I do not know, but I am not going to feel guilty.

    Thanks again for the replies, its means so much xx
     
  8. curlywurly1234

    curlywurly1234 Cambridge Consultant

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    Hey hon .
    Dont feel guilty!! You feel better thats the main thing... you made a good choice.. and now you can move on .
    Dont give up as your doing well!!
    hang in there x
     
  9. AbsolutelyFabulous

    AbsolutelyFabulous Absolutely Determined!

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    So glad you're feeling a bit better Lisa :) :hug99: Chin up, and I hope tomorrow isn't too awful for you XXX
     
  10. curlywurly1234

    curlywurly1234 Cambridge Consultant

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    Lisa,
    Forgot to say hope your daughter is feeling better now, its so hard when the kids are up in the night... when your tired it makes you feel 100 times worse x
     
  11. *Mojo-jojo*

    *Mojo-jojo* Say it in Dr Evil style!!

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    Lisa ,

    Im sorry i missed this earlier, im glad that u feel so much better and the food that u did eat was an excellent choice .... you have got to do whats best for you xxx
     
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  12. lisalulu

    lisalulu Silver Member

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    Thanks you ladies. Imogen is still really off it, its horrible when your little ones are ill. We're snuggled up on the sofa under a luuurvely Dora the Explorer duvet in our PJs. She would normally have been in bed by 7, so I think we might have another disturbed night. Just hope she is better by Sunday or we won't be getting our 'kiddie free, re-kindle the romance' mini trip to Amsterdam. Anyways, I will be stronger tomorrow, cause I'm expecting to feel crappy so I'm going to plan around that.

    Going to try and get another litre of water down me now to counteract some of the eating. Thank god my CDC is lovely and understanding.
     
  13. Cheska

    Cheska always struggling

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    Hello u, Im sorry I missed this earlier but see you have had quite a bit of support. Still I just wanted to say you have done so well and for me reading your threads has been so motivational.

    Big hugs for you and Im sorry for your loss but so happy that you have not blipped and celery sticks yum yum and well done :hug99:xx Keep going hun xx
     
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  14. tillyfloss

    tillyfloss Gold Member

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    Lisa,
    Sometimes times are just plain shitty!
    Have a hug from all your mates at Minimins.... tomorrow will be better... if you havent lost any weight that doesnt mean you havent lost any fat!!!
    You will be fine....
    We can all do this!!!!!

    x
     
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  15. lisalulu

    lisalulu Silver Member

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    Awww guys, you are all so kind. Its lovely having people who understand what this diet is really like and don't judge you. Stop being nice to me now though, or you'll all get me blubbing again :)
     
  16. Munchalot

    Munchalot Full Member

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    Aaw chick, sorry to hear you are struggling. I lost my Husband 6 months ago and have piled the weight on from emotional eating but today is my first day on CD and I actually feel in control of something in my life for the first time in a long time.

    You are doing this for a reason, you want to lose weight and be healthy, caving now could send you on a downward spiral and all your amazing work will have gone to waste.

    Stay strong and talk things through with your consultant. Will be thinking of you tomorrow
    K xxx
     
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  17. Katycakes

    Katycakes Stubborn tortoise

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    Lisa, sorry i missed this last night. Wanted to send a hug and some stay-strong vibes. I do think lack of sleep and worry about Imogen will be making things seem worse.

    I know today will be a hard day for you too. I lost my lovely Dad just over a year ago, and felt so lost and empty for so long. It didn't take long for me to start binge eating to try to 'stuff down' the grief, as comfort eating & me have had a long, long relationship. But this time I was so low I just didn't care, and felt like I would happily eat myself to death. Then I found CD and took control of one tiny part of my life, and four months on I feel like a different person, stronger, braver, more grown-up, less likely to run away and hide when the **** hits the fan.

    Serena is dead right when she says that having one thing you can control when things are bad really CAN get you through... don't give up on CD just yet.

    Munchalot, your post too made me sad... big hugs for you too, honey.

    xxx
     
  18. slimmeplease

    slimmeplease Full Member

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    i hope today is better for you lisa, sending you big hugs xxx
     
  19. lisalulu

    lisalulu Silver Member

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    Thank you all so much guys. Yesterday was one of the lowest moments I've had in a very long time, normally I would have dived straight into the biscuit tin, ordered a takeaway big enough for 4 and gotten through a 12 pack of crisps. I've realised that food doesn't give me comfort, just temporary relief. I'm so proud of myself for making a 'healthier' choice and because I recognised was properly hungry and not just comfort craving.

    As bad as I felt yesterday, I have woken up with renewed energy and determination- I KNOW I can do this. And although its a cliche, I know that the people I've lost over the years wouldn't want me to feel like I did. So today I'm going to go to the crematorium, think about the good and happy times- but when I come home I'll be concentrating on making a happy and healthy future for myself, my girlies and my h2b.

    Thank you all again for the kind words. Its lovely to know there are people out there, who even though they may be complete strangers, can be so helpful, friendly, supportive and all round nice.

    (Sorry for all the over-emotional, cliched garble above :)) Lisa xxx
     
  20. Katycakes

    Katycakes Stubborn tortoise

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    It's not cliched if you mean it hun, and over-emotional? Who says we aren't allowed to have feelings? Be brave Lisa and chin up... and think of the happy times.

    xxx
     
  21. Munchalot

    Munchalot Full Member

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    Aaw thanks Katycakes. I have my Husbands inquest in a couple of weeks so no doubt I will be on here for help to keep me away from the Vodka bottle and the fish and chips shop!
     
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