Kats cambridge diary - first timer

[Clinquant]

wow you are doing so well, I started at 136 kg and now i am 119, my friend is aussie so i convert it for her all the time, plus it sounds less than lbs lol. I cannot wait until I am under 100kg - it seems like it might never happen sometimes, and then when i think it might happen i tend to freakout even more lol.

why am i so afraid of losing weight???

Thank you - when I was weighing at Lighter Life the scales were in kilos so it means more to me know than stones and lbs. The book I am reading at the moment talks about how for many of us there is a fear of losing weight because if feels like the weight is important for defense or survival. The book is designed for therapists but it says that if the fear isn't dealt with first then it will be extremely hard to lose or maintain weight. I think this is the difference between those who have a couple of stone to lose and those of us who have a substantial amount. I often said that it felt like I was putting the weight on on purpose. I have needed a therapist to help me make some sense of it. It doesn't seem logical at all on the surface but I don't think it's uncommon. My Lighter Life counsellor used to say that a lot of people stopped and put the weight back on when they reached about 28 BMI. And I think Jo is right - there is a cloak of invisibility that comes with the weight that is very comfortable. I could almost sense becoming visible again and it takes some getting used to.

I think if we are able to keep questioning our own motives and reasons and share our thoughts with each other, then we have a good chance of cracking this.

 

[katsparkle]

You are right of course and if logic had anything to do with the way I am then I would never have put the weight on lol. I am very aware of why I am the way I am and I know I like to self sabotage.

For example at the moment I'm really putting off finishing my novel. I love writing but the fear of success and as you say "visibility" is quite overwhelming in me. I need to just ignore myself a lot of the time lol.

So today I will be writing for at least an hour, because I have a deadline and I would hate myself if I missed it.

 

[Jo1989]

Yeah I think its trying not to think of it as a whole 'I'm going to lose X stone and what then?' but rather just a 'I'm going to be 100%' today, and dealing with what tomorrow brings tomorrow, whether that's temptation, or a gain or a loss, or whatever else. It's such a huge life change, trying to conceive of it as one massive thing is mindblowing.

 

[katsparkle]

just got weighed, switched my day from monday to friday -0 I have lost 4lb since monday woohoo - that means I am officially 3 stone lighter than i was just 7 and a half weeks ago! I have half a stone to get to my first target. bring it on!

 

[katsparkle]

ok so I have changed my ticker and goal weight to reflect my next target, even though I have 7lbs left of this target to get I don't want to get too complacent lol - so instead of 7 I have 35 lbs left to go, I will still celebrate my 3 and a half stone mark and treat myself to something awesome, maybe a hairdo or something. This will be a much harder target to achieve, so I need to get in the right head space for it, and after next week I shouldn't have any distractions.

so brng it on, i can get to 16 stone, i know I can!!!

 

[Jo1989]

You absolutely can, and as long as you stay strong from here it'll actually get easier! I promise you that after a week totally 100% its a breeze

 

[katsparkle]

Yes, unfortunately I have a bbq on Sunday which I shall eat grilled chicken and salad. And tomorrow we are at an all day picnic but I will take cartons for that.

 

[Jo1989]

Well as long as you can stick to the chicken that is a 100% day!

 

[katsparkle]

Trying to stay 100% or thereabouts until friday when i next get weighed, hoping for 3 or 4lbs, despite eating yesterday, i stuck to my proteins and drank plenty of water, didnt have any packs. today I have had a shake and some ham and chicken but thats me done on the meat for a while lol, dont think my body can handle any more meat anyway. drunk about 4 litres of water already today and theres still a few hours to go and then 2 more shakes later on.

 

[Clinquant]

I think it's a good idea to increase your ticker - being able to look further ahead is a great motivator. But definitely celebrate that first goal - you've done really well.

Hope you have a good 100% streak through to the weekend!!

 

[Jo1989]

Katsparkle - I think that you have to manage the plan however works best for you, and if thats eating protein thats great. The only thing I would say is that you may be making it harder on yourself, as when I've tried to deviate from plan in the past, my hunger pangs and craving never really went away, and it made it doubly hard. In a weird way, 100% is so much easier, as all the physical craving disappears.

I hope you had a good day whether it was a protein or 100% day

 

[katsparkle]

I had a piece of grilled chicken for dinner last night, around 180 calls and it seemed to do the trick, I was really struggling because time of the month, so I'm going to try and get a
100% day in, but if I can't then I will have chicken again tonight, would rather do that than allow myself to go mental and fall off completely. Be glad when this week is over. Husband home all day tomorrow which will make things harder

 

[Jo1989]

Maybe to ease up on yourself psychologically you should do SS+ which it sounds like you're doing anyway. That way you've always got a meal to keep you on track but the losses are pretty much the same?

 

[katsparkle]

To be honest I am fine until I have to feed my family lol. Today I have been rock solid so far, 3 litres of water and one shake down

 

[Jo1989]

Woo thats good! You feeling good for it?

 

[katsparkle]

Yeah I'm good, had 2 shakes and no food at all today, I think it helps when we don't have cooked meats in, because I'm a picker

 

[Jo1989]

Yeah its just toooo tempting having anything yummy in the house!

 

[katsparkle]

Had a great day yesterday, 3 shakes and a ton of water. Today is my hubs birthday and he is home so it will be harder. Me and the kids are turning the dining room into a restaurant with a menu and everything. I will just have some grilled chicken while he has a seafood extravaganza, which my kids won't eat lol, so ill probably make them sausage and mash or something. Going to be a busy bee today. Also it's my friends birthday and last night I made her the chocolatiest cake ever.

 

[Jo1989]

Mmmm cake looks amazing! Hope the evening goes really well and that you enjoy yourself

 

[MISS MERLOT]

Hi there
u r so right im so obsessed with food its nice to have a rest from thinkin about it!!! im on day 4 been hard 3 days but think im getting there