Katycakes Won't Give Up...

[Chelsea Lou]

Aw, KC. I guessed you'd had a bit of a wobble and wished I'd PM'd you now :sigh: You have done absolutely the right thing by coming and talking to us and not hiding away. Nip it in the bud and a couple of lbs will be off in no time. Ignore it, through shame, embarrassment or whatever and it suddenly turns into half a stone or more.

I'll let you into a little secret, but you mustn't tell any of the others I have been so darn busy over the last 4 days, plus not sleeping, I never want to see another cloth, polish, floor mop or hoover again. At lunchtime today I was already two shakes down and so blinking hungry. Someone sent out for a load of filled rolls and I caved in and had a cheese and onion roll. I enjoyed it but afterwards felt like I was a stone heavier and full of guilt. The energy I had been using up made me really need the food.

I thought I'd blown any kind of a decent WI tomorrow and then I analysed it. A cheese roll, barely an ounce of grated cheese, the butter/margarine was scraped on then off again and the roll itself.......500 cals tops?? Plus the two shakes so less than 800 calories for today so far, I must have expended half of that at least today. A slim person would never ever have been fretting about such a piddly amount of food. A slim person would have eaten it, enjoyed it and forgotten it. Beck talked me out of a downward spiral today.

So, moral of this tale? It's not worth feeling so bad over. It makes it more of an issue than it needs to be. It's not success/failure, black/white, all/nothing. There is lots of in-between. Trust me honey, you haven't let anyone down, you are not a failure, you are a human being, like the rest of us, entitled to an off day....that's all it was.

xxx

 

[MinnieMel]

Beck talked me out of a downward spiral today.

So, moral of this tale? It's not worth feeling so bad over. It makes it more of an issue than it needs to be. It's not success/failure, black/white, all/nothing. There is lots of in-between. Trust me honey, you haven't let anyone down, you are not a failure, you are a human being, like the rest of us, entitled to an off day....that's all it was.

xxx

Well said, Chels!

 

[Katycakes]

Thanks hunnies. Mel, you made me laugh with the picture... aw. I am hanging! And trying to scramble back up, promise. Chels... lol... I won't tell your secret. You are right... I need to get my head together, back to the place where I can reason again and where I don't feel driven to hurl myself off a sheer cliff-face every few days.

I can salvage this, but something has to change. I'd like it to be my mindset, but am open to any suggestions and haven't ruled out a change of tack. I am thinking. (Sound of rusty old wheels creaking and wheezing...) This could take some time.

Whatever happens, I am here to stay, I hope... leaving minis at this point would be like holding my hands up and admitting defeat. I thought that was my only option Sat & Sun but hey, I am a drama queen I know... I can do this. (I think. Tiny voice... I can...)

Thanks guys.

xxx

 

[Chelsea Lou]

Thanks hunnies. Mel, you made me laugh with the picture... aw. I am hanging! And trying to scramble back up, promise. Chels... lol... I won't tell your secret. You are right... I need to get my head together, back to the place where I can reason again and where I don't feel driven to hurl myself off a sheer cliff-face every few days.

I can salvage this, but something has to change. I'd like it to be my mindset, but am open to any suggestions and haven't ruled out a change of tack. I am thinking. (Sound of rusty old wheels creaking and wheezing...) This could take some time.

Whatever happens, I am here to stay, I hope... leaving minis at this point would be like holding my hands up and admitting defeat. I thought that was my only option Sat & Sun but hey, I am a drama queen I know... I can do this. (I think. Tiny voice... I can...)

Thanks guys.

xxx

Big voice .......................

you can!!!!

 

[Emmaline]

Hi Katy, Just to add my pennorth!
So sorry you are on a right downer at the mo'. Sounds like you could do with some relaxation therapy. What about trying Paul McKenna's CD that goes with his book "I can make you thin"? I found this soo relaxing and it will be helping you to get into the right frame of mind for your continued progress on CD or whatever else you choose.

Hope you soon feel better...

 

[Chelsea Lou]

If you're anything like me, you just sit here giggling at this pic! It's tooooo cute for words!!!! xx

That little creature is just the cutest little thing I ever saw and I want it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Katycakes]

Awwwww! So cute! Chels, I think we all need a baby bunny!

@ Emmaline, thanks lovely... don't have this, but like the idea of it... will investigate.

Four shakes down, feeling a little better, and tomorrow is a new day...

xxx

xxx

 

[Chelsea Lou]

Huge credit to you Katy xxx

 

[Bess]

Stop panicking honey, no need. Cuddle the bunny, listen and think. Just occasionally Bess Knows Best. ( As in to the girls - 'Mum Knows Best!' (or she could just be a bossy cow! ) But an affectionate, well meaning one. Mooooooo! xxx

 

[herewego]

Hugs Katy! Don't worry - all that fretting will do you no good at all. Deep breathing and keep going. It's nearly impossible to think clearly just after a fall off the wagon. When you are back on track (and by the sounds of it you are now) take some time out to think about whether you want to stay on CD or try something else. Only make a decision when things are going well - so that you can make a rational and considered decision. Otherwise you'll do an "Alli" and jump from diet to diet - it's no good.

You can do this - We can do this - Some of us are taking the scenic route but we'll all get their in the end.

Hope you have a good day!

 

[Katycakes]

DAY 56

Scales 12st 1. Sigh.

Thanks, all of you, for yesterday's support, it means a lot. I am doing a lot of thinking and not sure at all what the outcome will be, but I am not giving up on my goal nor on minis I promise. I just need to think about CD, which seems to have become very difficult again for me, as it was through all of last year on the dozens of failed re-starts I tried then. (When I actually weighed less than I do now, gad, could kick myself).

I have the feeling of beating my head repeatedly against a brick wall and still being a bit baffled that it hurts...

Stumbling blindly on losing and gaining the same 4lbs... not happy with that. Something has to change, but it must be for the better. Any ideas welcome!

xxx

 

[Katycakes]

Cross posted Alli, but your thoughts are welcome and chime with mine a little... I think you are right. Find a calm place and make a calm decision, at some point not too far along the line. Thanks Alli.

xxx

 

[Greeneyes11]

Morning Katy, glad to see the scales have dropped again for you, see you didn't do as much damage as you first thought. Here is some advice from someone who also failed with CD last year time after time, and even the beginning of this year. I moved to a different diet and couldn't cope with the food at this time, it was the food that gave me cravings to eat more and I was failing again by only losing 1lb for 2 weeks, then gaining one of those flippin pounds..... so 1lb in 3 weeks was not going to make me feel great. Last October I did 3 weeks SS and then dropped out as I was really ill and the meds made me gain weight and then I tried SW yet again and failed as when I went back to my CDC in Jan I was tons heavier than the October...... time and time again I go back to CD and I think this is what I need to do, take the food away for a while and then work up the plans like I did last time..... that is the only way at the moment that I have control, SW and WW give me way too many options to cope!!

Anyway, thats just me and good luck in whatever you choose to do. Have a good day... xx

 

[Katycakes]

Thanks Greeneyes. I thought the same, but what is worrying me now is that after Jan pretty much 100% on CD and Feb with its series of derailments... I can't seem to DO it. Every time I fall it smashes up my confidence a bit more. I am absolutely terrified of a food-based diet, I m not kidding. But... if I can't do CD then not sure what else I can do. I cannot try any harder than I am trying now! Hence the confusion and anxiety. Aghhhh.

xxx

 

[Greeneyes11]

Why not try moving up a plan or 2 for a while to 1000 or 1200, follow the plans as exactly in the book so you still have the constrictions of CD but with a bit more variation. You will still lose weight and then when you feel comfortable move back down, you never know you may continue to lose weight quite quickly on a higher plan.

 

[Katycakes]

That makes sense. After a wobble my default solution is to revert to SS... maybe not the smartest plan. Thanks Greeneyes, appreciate the advice and support.

xxx

 

[Wales]

:grouphugg:

Morning Katy, am out of advice this morning, however sending a huge hug. Is the sun shining with you this morning? It certainly feels like spring here today which is a great lift for the soul.

xxx

 

[LellyCD]

Why not try moving up a plan or 2 for a while to 1000 or 1200, follow the plans as exactly in the book so you still have the constrictions of CD but with a bit more variation. You will still lose weight and then when you feel comfortable move back down, you never know you may continue to lose weight quite quickly on a higher plan.

Excellent advice GE, reverting to SS to try and make up for and off plan time can make you feel even more deprived and upset as you are possibly using it as a punishment to yourself for being off-plan. I would say after a wobble continue with the plan you are on or as GE say move up to the 1000 plan for a couple of weeks as a back-up diet (Beck recommends a plan B).
Hope you don't mind me asking hunny, are you reading the Beck book? if so are you following the advice, or are you feeling resistant to looking at it?

 

[Katycakes]

Spot on Lelly, it is lying under my bed where it has been lurking for a fortnight.

I know you and GE are right and that I am panicking. A move to 1000 might help, and even if I do switch to a food-based diet i think I should work up the plans to do it... head just whirling and struggling with logic, never my strong point. And yes, there is an element of punishing myself with SS.

Appreciating all the input, honestly. Feel so confused, and I know this is no time to make big decisions, so putting the thoughts out there but too scared to decide on anything much right now. I WILL get the Beck book now. I WILL.



xxx

 

[LellyCD]

good idea... make the decision when your head feels right, not just yet.

ok....so where's the book now hun?