Place eggs in saucepan and cover with cold water.
Put on hob and set gas to 'full'
Browse web, do dusting, supervise bunch of Germans and make them coffee
Listen for huge bang, then lie on floor for 20 mins.
Notice if heart is beating.
If Yes....then huge bang wasn't you getting shot Go to A)
If No....Get someone to go to B)
A) Go into kitchen and wipe egg and shell off walls and ceilings.
B) Sorry No B, you've been shot, no eggs for you
Better luck next time 
Put on hob and set gas to 'full'
Browse web, do dusting, supervise bunch of Germans and make them coffee
Listen for huge bang, then lie on floor for 20 mins.
Notice if heart is beating.
If Yes....then huge bang wasn't you getting shot Go to A)
If No....Get someone to go to B)
A) Go into kitchen and wipe egg and shell off walls and ceilings.
B) Sorry No B, you've been shot, no eggs for you