Kels diary

[therealbbe]

Hi Kels

Your so inspiring and happy! Im starting cd today, just had my 1st shake, not as bad as i thought but have to do something Anyway, sat for a good hour last night reading your diary and was giggiling aloud quite alot!

Anyway just wanted to say keep up the good work and hopefully 4weeks down the like i'll still be on track! Think i may make i dairy too... think it helps!

Hope your gramps is ok

Take Care

xxxx

Hello yummy good luck on ya weight loss journey chick yeah def start a dairy u will really benefit from it and we can have a good nosy
Have great evening
Sharon xx

 

[Tessieg1]

Hello Hon, just catching up on your diary. You are really doing soo well and your pics - well, what can I say - you look fab!
Hope your day has gone ok, and that your grandpa is doing well. Well done on staying 100%.
Chat soon. x

 

[Kels_85]

Alright treacleeeeee im back!!! So glad to see your gramps is going strong and your doing well on the diet. I had a good weekend ended up drinking Fri and Sat lol....oopsiiee they just fell into my mouth what can I say!!! Anyways Im back on the wagon and no drinking for a couple of weeks so im gonna dig deep and stay strong. Your before and after pics are amazing I will sort some out once I feel there is an actual difference!! 'THE' dress, u know the one...the one with the back fat that rivals heather trott in a tutu...well I can get it zipped up now woo hooo!! Plus im ready to throw away a pair of my work trousers cos they are wayyy too baggy and as much as they remind me of the weight coming off im running the risk of looking like a clown/tramp!!! Hope your good lovely xxx

Hello beautiful girl!!
Soooo glad you had a good weekend chick!! I cant wait to have a glass of wine, honestly the more and more I think about it, the more weight watchers sounds appealing too me!! I think I am going to start it when I get too 10st.
Thanks for the comment about my pics, I'm half way there
Hahaha, WELL DONE on getting into " The Dress " it's so exciting when you get into something that you have been waiting to wear for ages!! Well done again honey xxxxx

 

[Kels_85]

Hi Kels

Your so inspiring and happy! Im starting cd today, just had my 1st shake, not as bad as i thought but have to do something Anyway, sat for a good hour last night reading your diary and was giggiling aloud quite alot!

Anyway just wanted to say keep up the good work and hopefully 4weeks down the like i'll still be on track! Think i may make i dairy too... think it helps!

Hope your gramps is ok

Take Care

xxxx

Hey yummymummy27
Thanks for taking the time out to read my diary, last few posts have been a bit depressing which is why I haven't been posting too much!
Good luck for your journey on CD, it isn't the easiest of diets and you have too have serious will power too stick to it 100% but I'm sure you can do it, and the results are definitely worth every day of pain! I'm sure you will reach your goal in no time at all chick
Definitely make a diary, it really does help. Good luck again, and thank you for your message about my Gramps. It's appreciated a lot xxxxx

 

[Kels_85]

Hello Hon, just catching up on your diary. You are really doing soo well and your pics - well, what can I say - you look fab!
Hope your day has gone ok, and that your grandpa is doing well. Well done on staying 100%.
Chat soon. x

Hi Tessieg1
Thanks for reading, hope your getting on well chick. And thank you for your comments about my pictures and my Gramps, Really appreciate that xxxxx

 

[Kels_85]

Hi girls,
Thanks for the posts about my Gramps, I really appreciate them and it's so nice to know I have some amazing friends on here.
Gramps is still fighting God bless him. Back up the Hospice too see him tomorrow.

Cambridge wise - The last 3 days I have been totally fed up!!! I am sick to death of not being able too eat!! Ahhhhh it's driving me mental! I just want food!! I haven't ever felt like this on CD, I think it might have something too do with the fact that I came on, on Tuesday! I just want food, not crisp or chocolate!! Just a meal!!
All this stressing has made me persuade myself too start the 810 plan in the 5th of march, or maybe the 12th I'm still debating! I'll see how I feel when I come off, and if I still feel the same I will start 810 on the 5th. I will have been doing SS 100% for 8 weeks then! Plus I would rather go up a plan than come off of CD altogether. Although I do feel that I'm ready now!! I mean, enough is enough!! A girl has got to eat!! Hahaha
Once I get too 10st I am going to head too weight watchers! So only 20lb to go until I get there!!
" Dear weight loss fairy, if you could come over night and take 20lbs away from me, I promise too never get myself in this state again " Hahaha!!

I have done 2 runs out of 3 this week from the C25K challenge week 2. Last night definitely took it out of me, don't know how I am going to manage when I start next weeks challenge!! I still need to order my 30 day shred!!! Must remember too order that next week!

I have cut down on smoking I used too smoke about 20 a day, but since last week have been having 9/10 a day! I know it's still a lot, but I'm getting there slowly! I feel like I'm just taking the p!ss out of my Gramps by continuing smoking! So without a doubt it has to stop! Just don't know if I'm strong enough too kick 2 addictions right now...

Anyway, hope all my girls are still doing good all aboard the skinny train chica's TOOOOT TOOOOT xxxxxx

 

[therealbbe]

Hi girls,
Thanks for the posts about my Gramps, I really appreciate them and it's so nice to know I have some amazing friends on here.
Gramps is still fighting God bless him. Back up the Hospice too see him tomorrow.

Cambridge wise - The last 3 days I have been totally fed up!!! I am sick to death of not being able too eat!! Ahhhhh it's driving me mental! I just want food!! I haven't ever felt like this on CD, I think it might have something too do with the fact that I came on, on Tuesday! I just want food, not crisp or chocolate!! Just a meal!!
All this stressing has made me persuade myself too start the 810 plan in the 5th of march, or maybe the 12th I'm still debating! I'll see how I feel when I come off, and if I still feel the same I will start 810 on the 5th. I will have been doing SS 100% for 8 weeks then! Plus I would rather go up a plan than come off of CD altogether. Although I do feel that I'm ready now!! I mean, enough is enough!! A girl has got to eat!! Hahaha
Once I get too 10st I am going to head too weight watchers! So only 20lb to go until I get there!!
" Dear weight loss fairy, if you could come over night and take 20lbs away from me, I promise too never get myself in this state again " Hahaha!!

I have done 2 runs out of 3 this week from the C25K challenge week 2. Last night definitely took it out of me, don't know how I am going to manage when I start next weeks challenge!! I still need to order my 30 day shred!!! Must remember too order that next week!

I have cut down on smoking I used too smoke about 20 a day, but since last week have been having 9/10 a day! I know it's still a lot, but I'm getting there slowly! I feel like I'm just taking the p!ss out of my Gramps by continuing smoking! So without a doubt it has to stop! Just don't know if I'm strong enough too kick 2 addictions right now...

Anyway, hope all my girls are still doing good all aboard the skinny train chica's TOOOOT TOOOOT xxxxxx

Hello gorgeous it really Is like reading my own thoughts when I read your posts about the smoking and the food etc I know I can't deal with both addictions yet!!! But we will n time I know it!!! Very very proud of you staying on this for soooooo long while facing adversity ur still going strong yeah ya bored but ya doing it well done u and when ya ready to move plans u will know thinking of ya kerrie always take care
Xxxxxx

 

[Kels_85]

Hello gorgeous it really Is like reading my own thoughts when I read your posts about the smoking and the food etc I know I can't deal with both addictions yet!!! But we will n time I know it!!! Very very proud of you staying on this for soooooo long while facing adversity ur still going strong yeah ya bored but ya doing it well done u and when ya ready to move plans u will know thinking of ya kerrie always take care
Xxxxxx

Hey Chica,
It's bloody hard isn't it! At least I have cut down, that's a little step in the right direction ;-)
We will get there soon and be healthy, skinny nutta's in no time I'm sure!
I thin it might just be because I'm on that I want to eat so much? Who knows! I'm thinking of starting 810 on Saturday, hopefully I'll be able to hold out though until the 12th, that's over 2 weeks away, and am hoping to be in the 10's by then xxxxx

 

[therealbbe]

Hey Chica,
It's bloody hard isn't it! At least I have cut down, that's a little step in the right direction ;-)
We will get there soon and be healthy, skinny nutta's in no time I'm sure!
I thin it might just be because I'm on that I want to eat so much? Who knows! I'm thinking of starting 810 on Saturday, hopefully I'll be able to hold out though until the 12th, that's over 2 weeks away, and am hoping to be in the 10's by then xxxxx

Well i think u will hold out it is one thing to want food but another to have it!!! Well I have bad April coming up my birthday hubby 40th and sons 10th so will be out for few meals so by then will prolly have to change plans etc or go WW or SW etc but that is another 5 / 6 weeks away so need to stay on it till at least then would like to lose another stone half really though before I change plans xxxx

 

[Kels_85]

So true!!
April sounds like it's going too be a busy month for you lady!! I reckon your goal is doable!!
It's my brothers 16th birthday today, I can't even join in the family meal!! Ahhhhhhh I want to scream so bad!! I bet I end up having a ***** fit today! Hahaha xxxx

 

[therealbbe]

So true!!
April sounds like it's going too be a busy month for you lady!! I reckon your goal is doable!!
It's my brothers 16th birthday today, I can't even join in the family meal!! Ahhhhhhh I want to scream so bad!! I bet I end up having a ***** fit today! Hahaha xxxx

Can't u just have some meat and salad hun that is awful!!!! Xxx

 

[Kels_85]

Nah I will give it a miss, I'll stick it out for now, and I'll make it up to him in a few weeks time xxxx

 

[therealbbe]

Nah I will give it a miss, I'll stick it out for now, and I'll make it up to him in a few weeks time xxxx

see that shows ya not ready to come off yet your are toooooooo focussed decision made whoohooooo xxx

 

[Kels_85]

Hahahaha!!!
Thanks chick xxxxxx

 

[therealbbe]

Hahahaha!!!
Thanks chick xxxxxx

Weigh in day soooooooon nice one xxx

 

[Kels_85]

Well today is without a doubt not a good day.
I got called too the Hospice just after 3 yesterday afternoon, and sadly after so very long of fighting, the mist amazing man I have ever had in my life gave up his fight with cancer and went too sleep at 5pm. I feel like my heart has been ripped out of me and my god it bloody hurts. My head is all over the place at the moment, I'm most definitely in pieces, and feel so lost. So soon after watching my Nan fight for her life for a week, to then pass away, I watched my Gramps take his last breath :-(
Nothing is consoling me right now, I just feel lost. Coming home from the Hospice all I wanted was a strong drink and a large pizza. I sobbed all the way home and when I finally got in, my Mum said I shouldn't ruin all I have worked for, for the sake of a pizza as I would regret it in the morning. Plus I know how proud my Gramps was of me doing so well on this diet, so in the end, I had a coke zero and then at 8pm had my shake.
So yesterday I ended up having 2 coke zeros which was the naughtiest I was.

Today I'm still on Cambridge, just feel completely lost and don't know what to do with myself. I don't want too talk to anyone, I had to turn my phone of last night. I just felt like I wanted to be left alone. My head Is definitely all over the place.

I'm gonna try my best too stick too cd 100% I really am. I don't want to give up just yet. So I'll do as my Gramps did and keep fighting, although my fight won't be nearly as tough as his was. I'm so proud of him. I know I shouldn't be putting all this on here, but as I'm typing, I'm starting too feel a bit better. And in all fairness, why shouldn't I wanna talk about my Gramps? He was an amazing, kind, loving, wonderful smart man and I am proud too have had him in my life for as long as I did. I'll love him forever and will never forget him.
Gosh I miss him already, leaving him alone in the hospice last night broke my heart.

Hope you girls have a better next few days than me. I will try my best too stay on the skinny train I promise xxxxxx

 

[emz.is.shrinkin]

My darling kerrie. There are no words to comfort you right now. I have written it all in a text to u already. U know I'm here for you hunni, Thinking of u all xxxxx

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[therealbbe]

Awwwwwww sweetie soooooo sorry to hear your bad news I am soooooooo pleased you shared your thoughts on your gramps i feel very pricaledged what an amazing man he sounds my thought are with you and the strength you have shown is amazing please take care of yourself and 2 coke zeros u def deserve star of the week lovely
Love always xxxxxxx

 

[girlygirl1]

Oh, Kels, I know just how you feel. My own Dear Dad took his last breath on 9th October last year. I was holding his hand - just the two of us in the hospital isolation room he'd been in for months. Dad had leukaemia and also hodgkin's lymphoma. He, too, fought very bravely with never a word of complaint. Cancer is cruel.

You will feel stunned and wretched and even angry for a long time yet. I'm still not over it but it is slowly getting more bearable.

Just remember him with love, treasure the love you shared and the pride he took in all that you did, and honour his memory. Talk to him. I talk to my Dad most days. Write him a letter - pour your heart out. I did that when my mother died in '05, and it helped me to express things I hadn't had time to tell her before she passed.

Deep sympathy and blessings to you and your family at this very sad time. My Dad was a remarkable man, too. A hardworking, very intelligent, honest, upright and decent man, just like your Grandad. The world is so much poorer for their loss, and so are we, the ones who loved them and will always love them.

Take care, and don't expect too much of yourself right now xx

 

[Kels_85]

Hey girls,
Thank you all for your messages, they have made me feel better and I really appreciate all of your kind words
Don't feel too bad today, a bit testy eyed this morning, but obviously it's expected. Found out the funeral is 7th March, so a week from this Monday. The family have decided The only flowers we are going to get him are Dad and Gramps, we have asked everyone who is coming to donate money too the Marie Curie Hospice. So at the wake all the money we get, we will then drop it off too the Hospice is Hampsted. Also all my Nana's and Gramps clothes will be going too the Marie Curie Charity Shop. I think it's a lovely idea. The amount of money that got spent on flowers for my Nan when she passed was huge, and they just rot away, so donating money too the Hospice where Gramps was is a great idea. The Nurses and Doctors there are wonderful amazing people.

Funnily enough, when I went Tescos with my Mum at 1pm today, as we walked out there was a lovely old man there, and he was collecting money for the Marie Curie Hospice's, me and my Mum just looked at eachother and smiled. I stuck £5 in the bucket and my Mum threw her change in there from the shopping the man gave us 2 yellow daffodil badges, and I have stuck mine in my Gucci bag

Diet wise, was 100% SS yesterday and today have decided I am moving up to 810 this weekend, so k have some chicken for dinner and I'm actually scared about eating! How strange is that!
I had my weigh in this morning, and have lost 3lbs I'm 11st 3lbs now, keeping my fingers crossed that I can get into the 10's by next Saturday!
Oh, also tried on my size 12's today, an they fit the zip went all the way up and they were comfortable. So I wore them out this afternoon! Had such a good feeling, but then my Gramps came back into my head and I felt like I shouldn't be happy! I know he wouldn't want me too feel like that. I heard somewhere yesterday that " Grieving has no time " Very true saying! One minute I'm ok, the next I'm in tears!
So just gonna take it as it comes and deal with it the best way I can.

Done my 3rd run last night of the week 2 C25K challenge last night and I'm glad I did it, had a lot of time to just clear my head. People were looking at me strange though, probably because my eyes were swollen and red from crying! But it didn't phase me, I just kept on running. Then my Dad come and met me and we walked home.

I've also decided that on the day of the funeral, I am going to eat! I won't be binging, but shall be celebrating my Gramps's life and will have 1 glass of champagne and a small meal, and no way on this earth will I feel guilty about it!

Thanks again girls for all your kind messages, I loved reading them, and feel lucky too have such great friends

Girlygirl, I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad, my Nana passed in October so I'm still dealing with that grieving :-(
Hope your ok and thank you for your message!

Have a great weekend girls, love you all xxxxx