Monday afternoon, and I'm still going strong!! Ready for the gloomy week ahead that's set to be probably the worst week of my life since October!!
Woke up too some awful news, my poor Gramps is still in the Hospice and the nurses have said that he is really going downhill quickly :-(
He keeps falling over and the swelling in his arm, they can find nothing accountable for it, so they think he may have a blood clot, and obviously that could kill him at any point. His become dependent on the oxygen now, and can barely take a few steps before he has to stop and rest! His also reluctant too take certain medication, as my Nan took some of the same things that have been prescribed for him, and he see what she had too go through. His not sleeping, as he had admitted he is scared that he won't wake up, so getting no rest at all is not helping him.
I know this isn't CD related in anyway, but obviously it puts a bit of a strain on me as I don't want too start comfort eating!
I feel like he has kind of given up, and I only don't blame him, his been fighting lung cancer for 2 years now, and we only lost my Nan in October, so I think he just feels like he has nothing too go on for anymore, and just wants to be with my Nan.
Obviously this week, my whole family are sort of going to be on standby, waiting for that dreaded phone call!!
I'm hoping I can stay strong, and not let everything get on top of me and affect my diet! I sort of feel strong enough now, but who knows what this week is going to bring. I'm going too be back and forth from the hospice all week, so may need to adjust my meal times, I'll just have too see how things go. It doesn't help that the hospice is an hours drive away, and thats without any traffic timing either! Having to get through Kings Cross, Euston, Camden Town and then on to Hampsted Heath isn't the easiest of journeys, but there is no point getting down about it, as it's something that has to be done.
I texted my CDC this morning and told her that on Saturday I will be needing 2 weeks worth of products again, as I wont be about much over the next couple of weeks, and she said that was fine! I've also told her I only want 4 bars a week now instead of the 7 I have been having. If I am up the Hospice all week, I shall just take a bar from the following weeks allowance and may have too take my jug and blender with me. So I guess I kind of have a plan, which is a good start.
I hate the thought of failing under stress though, so will have too try my very best too just take my life one day at a time as well as my diet.
So I probably won't be on here too much this week girls, I'll try and pop on as often as I can, but don't want too have too leave all sad and depressing posts, as it's the last thing any of us need!!
I hope you all have a 100% week!
Big kisses too all my favourite girls who are on the nutty train with me, I'll try my best not to get off of the train I promise you all!
Hope my Sarah Lou is ok, I shall catch up with you soon honey
As for my other nutta's, please don't go getting all normal on me ok! Remember we don't blend in, because we were born too stand out!
Lots of love to you all girls, have a fabulous 100% week, and please don't forget me!
Love Kels xxxxx
