Kick up the bum required!

[missy1978]

As it says really!

Background - I've lost 5st 3.5lbs so far and have 2st 5.5lbs to go until target. I have a bit of a time limit on this as I need to be at target (and under BMI 30) for 30th July which is when I have my next appointment at the fertility clinic regarding our treatment. If I'm not light enough they won't refer me and any chance of me getting on the IVF list will be delayed. At the age of 34 and a half I can't really afford much more delay so I need to get the weight off and quickly!

So here I am with one of the best reasons you could think of to lose weight. Up until recently I have been very good and 100% on plan other than a couple of days off for birthdays/Christmas etc. Over the last few weeks I have been finding that bad habits are creeping in - I've been picking at the ever present kitchen snacks at work for starters and I never used to do this. I was always so strong in the face of temptation. Now I eat things I know I shouldn't in the day and tell myself I'll make up for it in the evening but when the evening comes I feel miserable and deprived of my evening snackie that I generally use my syns for and eat it anyway despite the fact that I don't deserve it and have no syns left!

Today was a classic example - stuffed myself with toffees from the kitchen at work, I wasn't even hungry, just wanted the sugar hit. Used all of my syns and more but still ended up eating half a massive bag of popcorn after tea which I didn't need or really want, husband was eating them and I just joined in. So now I am uncomfortably full from over eating, feeling a bit sick and completely miserable.

I don't know what's changed. Since I was given my target of getting to BMI 30 by end of July over a month ago now my losses have been erratic and I am drifting off plan in ways I never did before. I had a very good loss last week but I've already had two dodgy days out of four since WI so I'll be lucky if I don't gain it back. I'm exercising but that isn't really helping my losses. Getting a target and a motivation should have helped me but I feel like I'm falling further and further behind and sabotaging any chance of happiness I have in the future by failing to lose the weight...

Congratulations to anyone still reading! If anyone has any advice I would be grateful to hear it, I'm struggling massively with this whole thing and I don't know how to get the single mindedness back that I used to have. I know how to do SW, I know it works and I want and need this to work more than life itself.... so what's wrong with me? x

 

[MrsCadbury]

I can't offer any advice but didn't want to read and run. :hugs:

 

[AnwenG]

Hang in there and put that stick down!! Just take it one day at a time. Ok you've had 2 days off plan but you've been on plan for 4. Just start again this week you know you can do it

 

[missy1978]

I can't offer any advice but didn't want to read and run. :hugs:

Hang in there and put that stick down!! Just take it one day at a time. Ok you've had 2 days off plan but you've been on plan for 4. Just start again this week you know you can do it

Thanks ladies xxx I've not been totally off plan, just struggling with snacking which is knocking me off tracks. I was fine over the weekend but work is a massive problem :/ Today is going to be hard as out with work tonight so can't afford any slip ups in the day - I hope that's enough to stop me.

I worked out that I need to lose between 2 and 1.5 lbs per week to hit my target, that should be doable but it feels pretty impossible right now! xxx

 

[Willbeslimjen]

Oh hun we all feel like this time. Why don't you write down the pros and cons of you losing weight it may help you refocus. If you go to group ring your consultant that's what she is there for and maybe ask for a SAS log. Good luck x

 

[alwayssunshine]

Do you think maybe now that you've got a target, you've got into the mindset of 'I have to/must do this' rather than 'I choose to do this'? For me, I know, that I am so much more likely to stick to something if I tell myself, 'of course you can have that toffee if you really want it, but I'm choosing not to today'. If I'm thinking 'I can't/I musn't/I'm not allowed' then I end up feeling deprived and resentful and ultimately much more likely to go off course. Just a thought. You've done so well so far, I have no doubt you'll get to target. Just take it one meal at a time.

 

[donna88]

You can do it, have a word with OH and ask him to try not to eat things in front of you if you don't have the syns left as it will only encourage you to go over and at the end of the day your loosing weight for both of you!

While at work think about the treats which you'd like to have on an evening and also picture babies, when your tempted you can then decide whether you think the syns at work are worth not having the treats at home. Make sure you have lots of syn free goodies available at work and at home so that you don't feel completely deprived. Syn free rice pudding is one of my favourites, it feels like a really naughty treat but its free and I always pack it with loads of superfree, chopped apple kiwi and banana or berries and banana (or either of those without the banana) all depending on how I feel.

Good luck and don't be too hard on yourself as that can make things worse.

 

[ChrisPoole]

Hi Missy,

After reading what you wrote I have to say I really think your reason for wanting to lose the weight is a very admirable one. It is also such a motivational weapon in itself that you should really use it to it's full potential. Just think about it, if you manage to lose all of this weight you have the chance to change your life and bring a new life into the world. You need to think about that every time you feel like straying off course and you should remember just how well you've done so far. The hardest part of any journey is the start, the bit when you have uncertainty and don't know how long it will take or what you will encounter. That part is done now... you are at the point on your journey where you know you don't have far left to go but you are also running out of time to get there.

My solution to you would be to change the type of exercise you've been doing, I'm not sure what kind of exercise you've done to date but if you do something totally different it will shock your body into burning fat and hopefully will put you into the next gear of your weight loss.

I really think you should sit back and think about just how much you've done so far, then think about what all this hard work will give you... hopefully a baby. Surely that is worth a hell of a lot more blood sweat and tears and it's worth you really committing and not straying off. You're nearly there... keep fighting!

 

[AbFab]

OK hon, take a deep breath. I think you're being extraordinarily hard on yourself here. You are not a fallen angel, you are human and sometimes moments of self-sabotage happen without any rhyme or reason to them. It sounds to me like you simply fell into the trap of mindless eating. I did this yesterday and ate WAY too much bread. Likewise with the toffee for you. On a good day I'm sure the thought of stuffing your face with toffees would seem totally abhorrent, other days we're simply not as strong or as "mindful". Maybe you're tired or premenstrual or stressed and just didn't really pay the attention you normally do, it happens.

I think your journey so far is really inspirational. You're steadily losing weight and with such an amazing goal in mind too. Your partner also needs to be mindful of why you're doing that so if you find him eating goodies in front of you then ask him not to, he won't mind. No harm in doing this if the temptation is too much.

I'm exercising but that isn't really helping my losses.

I'm curious about this statement. What exercise do you do and why do you feel it doesn't aid your losses? It absolutely should so maybe you're not pushing yourself enough. Would you consider taking up a new sport or pushing yourself that bit harder? If you do, then the fall-out from some toffees might not be as monumental if you're regularly working up a sweat.

Also, are you doing EE? If so why not swap over to Red for a week to really give those sugar cravings a kick up the ass? I know if I eat anything sugary I want more, so maybe eliminating sugar entirely for a week and concentrating on the more protein-based Red plan will bring you back from the sugar brink!

Finally, ease up on yourself. EVERYONE has off days/weeks. If you didn't then you wouldn't be human. Think of everything you have achieved so far and don't let a few toffees undo all the amazing work you've done so far xx

 

[missy1978]

Thanks to everyone who took time to read the ramblings of an idiot! Will reply properly later once I'm home and had a proper read xxx

 

[Rochelle1]

You have been such a support to me since I started doing a food diary. You're always there when I've done good to say well done and give me a pat on the back. So I'm not losing you now! Get your bum back on plan and get that last 2 stone off!! Seriously though, you want to get pregnant so much and it may sound harsh but if you don't focus and get back to it, you might not achieve your dreams of becoming a mum. (That sounds incredibly harsh but I'm leaving it on here!)

youve done so well upto now and I know you've got it in you to get the rest off. This is just a blip, I'm sure. By next week you are going to be on plan and feeling mint x

 

[wobblytum74]

Just look at what you have achieved so far - you can do it, keep at it x

 

[Safia]

I am struggling a bit too but what i have done is brought in alternatives like right now if i want something sweet and dont have syns i have some grapes in the fridge that are supersweet and a couple of those get rid of my craving. I also use all my syns on evening snacks because i am struggling in the evening mostly and i also try and save some of my hexs to have as a snack when i need them. You have done amazingly well and you can get to that target by 30th july x

 

[MissNix]

I think sometimes it's harder when you're focusing on such a big goal (from personal experience, it's what sends me into the "oh I'm never going to get there so why really try" mindset), so maybe focus on lots of little targets and try to put July to one side for now? Getting under the next stone / half stone barrier for example? You have done amazingly to lose what you already have, so you absolutely have it in you to do this xx

 

[missy1978]

Hey all, thanks for all your replies and advice - I really do appreciate it. I've been thinking about things a lot over the last day and everything you all said has helped me to do that

I had forgotten about SAS logs so might ask my C about that on thurs. In terms of pros and cons - I know what they are all too well. It is constantly on my mind and I know that I can't fail, I'd never forgive myself if I lose the small chance I have to have a family.

I think a lot of my problem at the moment is purely mental - I resent having to do this and I wish I could be like the millions of women who can conceive without having to break their backs losing weight. It feels so unfair and I know that sounds childish! I need to get out of the mindset of feeling hard done by and just get on with it and accept that life is how it is. It's not an easy thing to accept though and I think it really has hit home since my hospital appointment that we need that extra help and I think I underestimated how much the pressure, and the feeling of being a failure tbh was going to affect me.

Just to add a bit of context - I've been on SW for just under a year. I only do green days as I'm a veggie. I did no exercise other than an hours walking per day up until about a month and a half ago so I lost 5 stone without doing any exercise other than what I already did. I've spent the last month figuring out what I enjoy fitness-wise and in the last couple of weeks have settled into a routine of spinning three times a week and aquafit once a week. I might add more in the future once i'm a bit fitter and can cope with more but for the moment I'm not sure I can fit any more in! As I've only just got a routine I'm going to stick with it for a bit and then maybe start changing it around in a month or so time.

I've lost steadily throughout my time on SW and it's only in the last few weeks, since I started exercise, that my losses have slowed. It might be coincidental of course but I worry that I'm slowing things down as I was losing fine before that! I am losing inches so it's not a complete waste but tbh the inches don't matter if I'm not seeing the numbers on the scales move!

I should also mention that my husband is as a rule the most wonderful supportive man and I am very lucky to have him! He slips up sometimes and inadvertently puts things in temptations way but for the most part he is amazing and always tells me how proud he is and he knows that I'm doing this for us and our family together

I'm definitely going to try looking more at the smaller goals - I think maybe having one big target is too much for me at the moment. I used to take it half a stone at a time so I'm going to try to keep on doing that. I can't forgot my big goal and I am worried about what will happen if I miss my target but thinking about it too hard isn't helping me right now!

In terms of snacking - I've not been so bad the last couple of days although I did have a meal out with work last night :/ I think at the moment I can't even have the taste of something like chocolate because the state I'm in mentally leaves me open to binging, which I've not had a problem with for a long time. I'm miserable and when I get miserable I eat. So keeping away entirely from snacky treats will help for a bit I think so I'm taking no snacks to work and allowing myself one thing for the evening. Still gonna use my syns of course, just trying to make sure that I use them wisely

Just thinking about all of this has helped - thank you! xxx

 

[missy1978]

Just to update, I had WI tonight and gained 0.5lb which isn't wonderful but better than it could have been given the week I've had I guess. I've had a good couple of days too and felt motivate to keep going and not give in at to temptation at work. I'm still mega stressed about it all but trying not to let it get me down. Hopefully this week will be much better and see a good loss to get me back on track x