Abyss
Schwing !
So i've always said i'd be honest when I started my journey...
In my diary entry I mentioned that i'd often have planned binges and ridiculous rules that if I bought food to binge on i'd have to finish it the day I bought it ...
Well I just had a few of those days this last week. It all started with my friend suggesting we go to my favourite resturant. I'd been good all week and to be honest, I really wanted sushi aha :'] so I caved and had a lovely meal out ... But it didn't stop there.
From Monday evening-Wednesday late at night I had a complete relapse into old and awful habits, and I couldn't get my head around all of the methods put in place by LL, I just did it and I couldn't pin point why until it had already been done !
I didn't want to go to my weigh in at all yesterday, but I bit the bullet and thought i'd see what damage i'd done, +5 pounds. I was mortified, all that hard work and money felt wasted and I feel so stupid and awful.
So now i'm in a strange mix of emotions - totally motivated and wanting to get straight back up on the horse and keep looking forward because I know I can do it, but I also feel like I can't not kick myself for letting myself slip into those habits again. I don't want to feel like in the future I can't go for a relaxed, nice meal with my friends for fear of setting off a binging episode.
Onwards and upwards I guess, just have a bit of a self-pissed off undertone XD I'm trying to be as adult as possible, but finding it hard :']
Xo
In my diary entry I mentioned that i'd often have planned binges and ridiculous rules that if I bought food to binge on i'd have to finish it the day I bought it ...
Well I just had a few of those days this last week. It all started with my friend suggesting we go to my favourite resturant. I'd been good all week and to be honest, I really wanted sushi aha :'] so I caved and had a lovely meal out ... But it didn't stop there.
From Monday evening-Wednesday late at night I had a complete relapse into old and awful habits, and I couldn't get my head around all of the methods put in place by LL, I just did it and I couldn't pin point why until it had already been done !
I didn't want to go to my weigh in at all yesterday, but I bit the bullet and thought i'd see what damage i'd done, +5 pounds. I was mortified, all that hard work and money felt wasted and I feel so stupid and awful.
So now i'm in a strange mix of emotions - totally motivated and wanting to get straight back up on the horse and keep looking forward because I know I can do it, but I also feel like I can't not kick myself for letting myself slip into those habits again. I don't want to feel like in the future I can't go for a relaxed, nice meal with my friends for fear of setting off a binging episode.
Onwards and upwards I guess, just have a bit of a self-pissed off undertone XD I'm trying to be as adult as possible, but finding it hard :']
Xo