Lapsing/Self Sabotage/Not Feeling Worth It?

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by futureyummymummy, 13 January 2009 Social URL.

  1. futureyummymummy

    futureyummymummy Silver Member

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    Hi well I'm coming clean about the last 2/3 days. I've not been able to have any packs as the only flavour I have is literally making me sick (couldn't get to llc to change them). Have ended up lapsing majorly, am all confused as all the bad emotions started when I got into a pair of size 14 jeans.

    I thought it would make me happy but I've just been really sad and depressed since.

    I've either stayed the same or put on this week and am dreading my WI tonight, my lovely husband just keeps putting all the emphasis onto the fact I'm only a couple of lbs away from 3st but all I can see is a big fat FAILURE.

    All I can think is whats the point? Why did I ever think I could do this? I fail at everything why did I think this would be different? Am I even worth it?

    Sorry for whinging and sorry if I'm not making sense, I just don't seem to be coping right now and really don't know what to do.

    I don't want to be 'that' girl anymore :(.

    Emma xXx
     
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  3. vintella

    vintella Full Member

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    hey fym
    sorry to hear your having a tough time at the minute
    those dreaded crooked thoughts can really do damage!! dont forget what you have achieved your oh is right just look at that ticker. maybe have a look at your goals and make sure your giving yourself lots of strokes. hitting certain goals have left me feeling strange as well almost as though i dont really deserve to be where i am or that it will be unmaintainable. but thats simply not true!!
    sending you lots of hugs
    ella
    x
     
  4. Huseyin

    Huseyin Silver Member

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    Hi Yummy

    Firstly you are worth it, you as an individual and as a wonderful mother are worth it. you deserve to be happy and happiness is what you surely gain.

    You cant be failing at everything you do as you have done so very well so far, you have inspired our new comers on teh board who believe it or not look to you for motivation and guidence.

    Ok so you dont like the packs, thats understandable i dont like some of them either, but tonight when you go change them over now that you have a chance and dont worry about the scales you are looking absolutely fantastic and im sure your husband has told you in his own words.

    This is just a bad day, you had and should not be seen as anything else, you are a winner and win is what you will do.

    When we fail its important to get back up and on again, break the cycle you are in :)

    I believe in you and im sure everyone will come on here and tell you the same.

    You are becoming a yummy mummy and soon to be very very delicious indeed :)
     
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  5. Poppysparkle

    Poppysparkle Silver Member

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    FYM, if you haven't already done it in group, ask about the change curve tonight. We went through it last night and it made sense to me.

    I absolutely empathise with you. I felt exactly the same last time I lost weight about 6 years ago and spoke about this in my group last night. I got down to a size 12, bought a top off the internet, it arrived and I took one look at it and thought there was no way it was going near me as it was a tiny size 14 or a size 12 or something as I remember. Well it was too big!! Instead of feeling great, I felt really weird and uncomfortable. I think it had just proved to me that I'd done really well and was slim, but my brain hadn't caught up with that until that moment. Well, suffice to say, whether it was low self-esteem, fear or whatever, I put all that weight back on and far, far more.

    You are worth it, as am I, and for the sake of my health, both mental and physical I'm going to sustain this weight loss this time and next time that crooked thinking tries to put me off course, I'll know it.

    You have a choice now, continue on and become what you deserve, or think you aren't worth it (totally crooked thinking) and probably eat for comfort. You identified the reason and you can address it because you have come so far.

    You are so inspirational (sorry that always sounds so corny!) and have been so committed to this. You've also supported me and many others so now is the time to support yourself.

    *Apols if I sound really bossy!*
     
  6. gary girl forever

    gary girl forever Full Member

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    ive only just started this and the last 6 days have been some of the hardest in my life, so after 10 weeks i have no idea how hard this must be for you, all i can say is dont give up, youve done so well. im sure after you meeting tonight things will feel better, tomorro is a new day next week is a new week xxx
     
  7. PurpleButterfly

    PurpleButterfly 16lb to go!

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    FYM the way I see it (and I'm probably wrong, it's just my tuppance) is that when you finally manage to step into those size 14 jeans that you haven't been able to wear in a long time, it's going to bring up a whole lot of emotions about why you couldn't fit into those jeans for a long time.. It's passing through a gateway or milestone, and that can become a trigger for a lot of emotions. These aren't necessarily always going to be amazing and wonderful emotions, as it could also bring up all the emotions that led you to putting on the weight in the first place. I don't know you at all so I'm probably wrong, but maybe your self esteem issues led you to putting that weight on in the first place?

    Also, sometimes we may build ourselves up so that we expect that we MUST feel great about being in those jeans. When in reality we're complicated emotional beings, and as I said above, triggers like the jeans can bring up a whole range of emotional issues. Then you feel worse for not feeling amazing, if that makes sense!

    As for feeling like a failure, it might be worth journalling about that (unless you have someone you feel safe talking to about this kind of stuff). You could write down a list of reasons why you feel you're a failure, then look at them as if you were another person looking at them. Are they really true?

    It's easy for us to see that you're not a failure by any means - even from your ticker we can see that. Until you see it for yourself we could tell you til we're blue in the face! Believe me, I have been (and still go) through this, it's so hard to deal with.

    Best of luck and hope you feel better soon!
     
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  8. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Oh, FYM, :( - please don't talk about yourself as a failure. You are anything BUT a failure!!!! <<hugs>>

    I am sorry you are so down and frustrated. Those are horrible days. But you know this too will pass, and you ill be feeling brighter. Its just a low point for you for now.
    Have you worked out wy the size 14s threw you into a spin? There must surely be something imporant in there somewhere. I suggest bringing that up in group. The feedback may be veryhelpfull.

    You have done so well. And you, have every right and ability to do this successfully- same as anybody else. But you need to shake those negative thughts away, hard and fast. Do it now - they serve you no purpose at all other then self-destruction.

    And then, replace those thoughts with your accomplishements. You have neraly lost 3 stone you say - that is a SUCCESS.

    You are always here, bolstering up those who are wavering, and helping them. That is a SUCCESS.

    You have children, and are feeling better and more fit to be able to look after them. That is a SUCCESS.

    You and your hubby have had some really nice plans to do things together to celebrate or enjoy time away...thats really nice. And that too is a SUCCESS.

    You are mere pounds from your halfway mark to GOAL. Have you ever made it that far on other diets? That is a SUCCESS.

    You WILL be successful, cause you have us - and we won;t let you fail. We are right there in it with you. You are not alone.....and I have said it once, and will say it again - a burden shared, is a burden lessened.

    You know this diet is working - you have evidence of that. But yu still have a chatterbox, and it is still in and out of negative mode. Don't listen to it. It knows it is losing, and is trying to keep itself alive.

    You control it, - let it know that.

    Come on girl! You started this diet because at some level you knew you COULD do it. Find that spark again, and remind yourself.

    Shake these nasty feelings off, and be kind to yourself. Youa re doing so well - and what good is success if there is not a wee bit of struggle along the way - make syou really appreciate the good stuff.

    And its ALL learning about you.

    Hang in there!!!!

    ROCK IT! :)

    XX
     
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  9. RecoveringChocaholic

    RecoveringChocaholic I'm going to be slim

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    Oh FYM You are sooo worth it
    You are an achiever you've just hit the halfway blip
    Don't give up on yourself give yourself all the strokes you have earned
    YOU CAN
    YOU WILL
    Because you CAN & WILL
     
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  10. Kerrimc74

    Kerrimc74 Full Member

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    FYM - you have done fantastic over the past few weeks/months. This is just a blip and you will get back on track soon. I'm going off most of the flavours a bit now too but then sometimes I try it again a few days later and they're fine. Don't talk yourself out of this - just picture yourself in the summer in lovely summery slim clothes.

    I'm off to Florida 5 months today and keep thinking how I will be able to tackle all those theme parks without dragging along an extra person with me (the 6 stone I want to lose). When I was there 2 years ago, the heat and all the walking really done me in so this time I want to really enjoy.

    Think about something in the near future you would like to do but the extra weight would have stopped you and re-read your goals you set at the beginning. You'll do it no problem.

    Kx
     
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  11. brumchick

    brumchick Full Member

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    FYM, cant really add to what has already been said other than I totally agree with everyone that you are in no way anything like a failure.
    Lots of hugs
     
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  12. futureyummymummy

    futureyummymummy Silver Member

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    Thankyou so much guys, all of this has made me stupidly emotional and I don't know what to say. Not often I'm lost for words but this is one of those times.

    It's times like this when you realise that however much crap goes on in the world there are some amazing people and luckily I'm surrounded by a bunch of them.

    Still feeling down but all your kind words and support today has been amazing, I'm just totally lost for words.

    Emma xXx
     
  13. somewhere_inside_is_me

    somewhere_inside_is_me Silver Member

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    Emma, hoping your WI is not as bad as you fear and that you've been able to talk to your LLC. Lots of wise words on here, and I hope they help too.
    See you on FB.

    S.x
     
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  14. futureyummymummy

    futureyummymummy Silver Member

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    You really are all amazing xXx
     
  15. pete10141748

    pete10141748 Postaholic

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    FYM, you are by no means a failure my dear.
    Just look at you!

    Over halfway to your goal, a hairs-breadth from having lost 3 stone, insto size 14 jeans showing off your sexy ass, lovely smile and beautiful features, you have a loving OH and a wonderful family.

    how can you possibly be a failure when you have all that?
    I envy you. Really, I do. I can only hope that in the future I will have the wonderful things you do.

    And so what, you've had a bit of down time with LL over the last couple of weeks. I doubt anyone hasn't or won't have a simlilar thing at some point. The fact that you expressed it to us, had the courage to seek help even if it was just a few nice strokes from us lot here, shows that you are most certainly NOT 'that' girl anymore.

    You are doing great, and you ARE great.
    As BL says, "keep rocking it!" and you'll soon be as beautiful outside as you are inside.

    Oh wait.





    You already are :)
    x
     
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  16. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    FYM

    Sorry, I've only just seen this thread and all the wonderful messages of support you have had from everyone, as they are so right.
    Look at the stats on your info and what you have achieved.
    I've watched your photo changing. i've seen your confidence improving.
    I've noticed you being so supportive consistently to other people.
    I remember you struggling at the beginning and then getting in control for your LL journey -and you can get that control back again - you know you can.
    I had a lot more weight to lose than you have and I remember feeling like you when I got to the 4stone off stage.
    It seemed like an emotional and physical block to me.We talked about it in class and our LLC made me put 4chairs in a row to signify each stone. Then I had yo stand next to each one and envisage myself and my thoughts as I had lost each one and say it out loud.
    It was really powerful because it made me realise the block was because of an emotional experience I'd had years ago when I was that size. I had put it completely to the back of my mind.
    Once it was out in the open I was able to focus again and get back on track.
    I have been told that it takes about a year for our head to catch up with the change in our body image. There are so many changes to cope with.It's understandable to have wobbles.
    But you will succeed. You have achieved so much already as well as looking after your OH and being a mum too.
    If I was wearing a hat I 'd take it off to you.
    Get back on the horse, stop beating yourself up and continue this life changing programme.
    You CAN and you WILL do it.
    I'll be watching. xxxxxx
     
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  17. catznolan

    catznolan nearly there!! :)

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    hey hunni,

    i too have only arrived, but just want to say u are doing amazing and should be so proud of urself. i hope wi went ok and that u can pick ur self back up chic xxx
     
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  19. dalek

    dalek Member

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    Hi Yummy

    Just seen this and I know it's an old thread but I just wanted to say that what you have achieved is amazing and to add my support. Take care.
     
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