Let's try this again

Sorry you are not well but it's amazing the difference in your tone and confidence from your first post if you go back and read. I bet it will be amazing to read your letter in 6 months time. I seem to remember there is an email programme that does that and posts it to your future self on a date you decide.

Hope the job goes well and you make the most of your lie in tomorrow.
 
Yes you Priya!! Same name and same writing style, you're gorgeous!! I never post on the slim and save Facebook page, I haven't told anyone I'm doing this and although it's private I'm just really wary for some reason!! I'd hate my friends knowing because they've seen me trying these things before and understandably would be a bit eye rolly about it! Aw thank you Bev, I feel exactly the same on here. I think because it's so anonymous people are just way more honest about their triumphs and struggles. I've been to WW and SW groups in the past and it was never the same as here, nobody ever (understandably I suppose in a group setting) would really get into the nitty gritty about how awful they felt or how even how proud they felt. There was a filter but on here I think everyone gives the works which is brilliant!!x I have made one decision now, that I'm not going to have anymore dealings with ex other than to saw hello and goodbye when he's collecting our daughter and coming up so I can go swimming. No more hanging around in my home and wait for it...this should please you lot ;) no more talking about him on here or anywhere!! It's doing me no good talking about it and raking up over everything and there's much nicer things to put in my head than negative thoughts about him and his life which is actually none of my business!! Night Nights folks I'm off to read a book and fingers crossed actually get some sleep x x x

Lmaoo aww tht group is closed hun so no one else xan see wt u rite except the ppl
In the group or esle i wudnt av joined either hehe iv nt told ne one either except me immediate family...n even then nt xplained it fully lol ... Js wna see physical changes soon lol hehe soo impatient me lol...and lmaoo at me wriiting style i kno sori have apologised to so many ppl abt me writing style cnt help it lol at alll ??....gd abt the ex hun :) well ahopy for u :d x aww thnku hun im nt al tht hehe shucks bt thnkuu hehe gne bif nw doe lol xx
 
You're all so lovely!!

Well I have a doc appointment today, I haven't been able to shake this and it's getting worse by the day sooo I've decided to come off for the next 3 days maximum until I'm someway better.

Going to make sensible choices, mainly I just want to be able to make a big pot of soup and nurse myself back because I'm actually in great form mentally I just want to feel the same physically!!

The charity shop was amazing by the way, I never clicked with a group of people so quickly. I can tell I'm really going to enjoy it there!!x x
 
Second day off plan and I'm really missing it!! Still not feeling any better so eating just doesn't seem worth it.
I'm back in the charity shop on Saturday and the weekend is the toughest for invites etc because DD goes to her dads now so I want to be back in ketosis by then so hopefully getting back on plan tomorrow will work!!

Feeling good that I'm so eager to get back on plan but worry it'll be a struggle!
 
Delighted to be back on track today, feeling much better too which is a huge bonus!!
I'm too scared to weigh myself in base it gets me down :( so I'll just keep plugging away, my brief dalliance with food has shown me I'm truly not missing out!

In other news, I'm applying for a college course today. Not holding out too much hope I'll get it but it would be amazing!! It's just an introduction to counselling and psychology but could really open the door to further education and it starts in September when DD will be starting playschool!
It's only a dream at the moment but more reason than ever (as if I need one) to stay on track!

Hope everyone's well, sorry I've neglected all your diaries!!
 
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Well done n getting back on plan. I hear you re being too scared to weigh yourself. That's what I've always done and sadly that's one of the reasons why I lost control every time. I plan to stick to weekly weigh ins permanently regardless of how good or bad I've been lol
How did the college application go? Keeping everything crossed for you!

M x
 
Aw Thanks slim!! I'm actually just over from your diary!!
Still in the process of the application, waiting for a reference etc! Fingers crossed!!

You know I think you're dead right about the weigh in actually, I haven't really been doing weekly weigh ins. More sporadically which don't seem to keep me as focused! Might have a little glance now :( or wait till morning!!
 
I find finally knowing my weight and actually keeping track of it quite cathartic. It's a massive relief and a burden off my shoulders knowing what the damage is and actually doing something about it. I refuse to hide my head in the sand ever again.
Go on. Weigh in tomorrow morning and embrace the power you'll have over the scales. NOT the scales over you!

M x


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Good luck with the college course x
 
Go on. Weigh in tomorrow morning and embrace the power you'll have over the scales. NOT the scales over you!*

Yes, what Slim_and_happy said! Embrace the power.... Once a week. Pick your day and stick to it.... And give yourself a couple of solid days on SS before you check those scales (so speaks the voice of many a nasty experience aka reason to wallow lol).

Everything crossed for you for the course :cross: xx
 
Oh guys :(
Why is it, when I feel I'm finally getting somewhere with one part of my life, does it seem to give me the ok to mess up another!!

Messed up tonight and panicking that's it for me now that I've lost my mojo but I need to get it back!!
Was absolutely not worth it and I've no doubt set myself back big time.

Need to make serious effort to just get tomorrow out of the way.
 
Hey hun,
Draw a line and get going again tomorrow. Maybe set a routine day for weigh ins too - might help keep you on track.
Hugs :)

(Your college course sounds very interesting!) Xx
 
Aw thanks both of you :thumbup:

OK so I've weighed and from now and Thursday morning is my new weigh day no matter what!!
18st 5lbs :( that's including my two days off to get better and my last nights huge big fail, still seems like loads though and I'm back at exactly 2st loss which if I'm being honest really could have been a whole lot more.

How and ever I have 9 weeks until Liverpool so I need to really stay focused now and remember how wonderful it feels being in control and fully on plan, knowing the weight is steadily coming off each week!

I have to make mini goals along the way so I'll make myself a Valentines Day promise to be 17st 5lbs or lighter.

Here goes, again :eek:
 
Oh will do!!

Seriously what's with my luck, I'm usually never sick but since before Christmas I seem to have one thing or another. Woke up with truly awful conjunctivitis in one of my eyes, I have a weak stomach at the best of times but Oh my God yuck and ouch!!

Doc again in a few mins!! But no sad faces, I'm sticking to plan and going to really impress myself for Valentine's!x
 
Thanks slim but all did not go to plan, boo freaking hoo :banghead:

What's bloody wrong with me, I've been off the rails now for a week, a full week and probably a huuuge gain but definitely can't see it because then I'd just throw in the towel altogether!!

The weirdest, most annoying part is that my life seems to be starting to really take shape now. I've made new friends since I started this diary, reconnected with old friends, gotten new interests, booked trips and made plans. I know this is all because losing the 2st set me on a little roll and gave me a little confidence to get to know new people etc but sometimes I think that I have the opposite of anorexia, like I'm still over 18 stone but because I've lost weight I almost feel like I'm nearly done. It's a terrible mindset really, but then so is being totally down on myself!

Yet again, I neeeed to get back on track tomorrow.
I did a huge big clean up around the house today, that always seems to put me in a better mindset!!

Here's hoping this time I can stay focused! Raging with my choice to come off because I was sick but now I'm scared that this is how I'll behave when I come off for real!
 
Oh my goodness, I've just weighed and the news is horrifying (though definitely a good thing I weighed as I was thinking of having "another day off plan")
18st 9lbs! That's a 10lb gain in a week.

I'm absolutely mortified admitting that but I really want this to be a totally honest account of hopefully something that one day vaguely resembles success.
Normally with so many disasters I'd have given up by now, so grasping at straws for some positivity I'm going to consider that a tinchy little success in itself.

Liverpool in 8 weeks and I'm absolutely determined to stick to it until then!! It's still possible for me to hit my 5 stone off target by then if I just stop messing around.
Everything else in life is falling nicely into place, I need to stop sabotaging myself!!
 
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