Let's try this again

Please let today be the day I get back on track. Only I can do it, I wish I could just stop messing around. I hate carbs and sugar for making me feel this way!

Getting up now for a coffee and a good long think about all the reasons I need to do this.
 
You've done it before and know you can. Think of the reasons you keep going wrong. What are you thinking just before you eat? How do you convince yourself to give in?
 
This came up on the Beck Facebook page today and I thought it might help you get through the day.

Sabotaging Thought: I just want to eat and eat.

Response: Overeating NEVER feels as good as thinking about it does. My sabotaging thoughts try to convince me that I’ll love it and feel really happy if I overeat, but in fact, that’s never the case. When I overeat, I end up feeling bad, guilty, and angry with myself.
 
God this is really like the "what not to do guide", I'm very surprised you two still knocking about waving your little flags of support. I really do appreciate it.

I think with me, it's almost the opposite problem others have. I seem too congratulatory of myself for the smallest of successes, like getting down a dress size I think wahoo what harm will a week off do to celebrate my "new figure". It's embarrassing to admit that but it's true, most people tend to be least likely to cheat after weigh in but I'm most likely because I think Ah look how well I've done, it won't do any harm etc.

Right now I'm peddling backwards at an alarming rate and have fallen right back into the throws of my old bingey ways that I felt so sure I'd left behind.

I can't wait to feel the happiness that comes with being on plan and not feeling so ashamed of myself, I'm more productive in every area of my life when I'm not like this.
I've sabotaged today already and it's not even 8am but then I knew yesterday I would and my shopping contained plenty of rubbish. The other thing is that I've arranged to go out for dinner and a few drinks with my friend on Sunday, I'm genuinely not even looking forward to it but would really rather not cancel. I suppose I could go for low carb as it's a carvery and one or two vodka and diet cokes? Or just start completely on Monday? Any ideas would be very welcome.

One thing I do know is that when I get back on track, I absolutely have to be a stickler for the rules.
 
So it's Saturday and I have to meet ex down at the police station later to get stuff signed for DDs passport and I feel all big and bloated and yuck, whereas if I had been on plan I'd be feeling so much more confident.
I weighed last night and the damage is shocking but still not back on plan, was in a friends for lunch yesterday and mother's day dinner out tomorrow but Monday is D day.

I'm going to put a four week check list on my fridge and mark off the days and estimated goal weight at the end to keep me going. I promise myself I'm going to break back open the Beck diet solution and I also have cds of a similar variety which I'll start listening to.
 
Had a really fab lunch out and it was well worth even the dreadful gain the scales has showed! We had a great time and I was nice and merry :D and felt good in myself but even through my broken sleep I could hear that drill Sargent in me and my mind has been paved with grit!

There's still plenty of tempting food in the house and I was going to get up and dump it last night but then I thought what difference does it make anyway, there's loads of food in shops and cafes etc!

You're so right Clin, the mind is a funny thing I genuinely think that sometimes all the tools and tricks aren't going to cut it because we bury our heads in the sand. Much like coming on here, I rarely come on and read diaries etc when I'm off plan even though It'd probably be the one thing to get me back in action!

One fact I absolutely love from Beck is that the peace of mind after the frenzy of wanting to overeat doesn't come when you start to overeat but when you make the decision one way or the other. I've found this to be so true!
 
Plan of action for the day is to delay my first pack as long as possible, maybe until after swimming. Get house in order, I feel so much better when the place is clean and tidy!

Positives to note, I'm still in the 17s which I wasn't expecting AT ALL as I've been two full weeks not even "off plan" but downright binging.
My expectations have changed regarding this diet, I've realised that I won't lose a dress size in a week or two and I just have to plod along and enjoy the ride and stop trying on clothes after a few days because nothing is that magic!
 
Delaying worked so well for me when I've had to restart or pull myself back to basics. Lots of water in between and I found I could go quite a long time.

The Relapse Prevention thing I posted on my thread really made me stop and think about the head burying thing. I think that is where we need someone to be accountable too. I'm going to start seeing my therapist again once I am maintaining. It seems expensive but it works out at £20 a week as I don't go that often. That's a takeaway and a bottle of wine these days so I think it will be money well spent. She will check up on myfitnesspal too and make sure I am checking in. I'd like to think I can do it for myself but I think it's a bumpy road at first and we need all the help we can get. Need to get out of the shame thing too. Everyone on here - if they are here for any length of time - knows what it's like to struggle so we shouldn't be ashamed of admitting our failings.

Anyway, head down for you and have a great day. Remember that lovely feeling of calm that you are aiming for. As you say much easier once the decision is made.
 
Good morning! What a beautiful day it is here in Ireland!
A new month, a chance to put everything behind us :D
It's exactly 8 weeks until our holiday :eek: so many reasons to stay focused and not falter. It's just putting that into practice I'll have to concentrate on.

You're so right to invest in yourself like that Clin, it's funny the things we often put ahead of ourselves isn't it.
 
Today went without a hitch thanks :D
Roll on day 5 tomorrow. One thing I've learned is not to get too sure of myself!

Got a tattoo today and totally changed my hair the other day :p really going to focus on revamping my whole look!! Hope you're well Clin x
 
Woo hoo! Well done :)
 
Full week done and lost 10lbs which is my entire gain from the few weeks off :D Now onto fresh, much more exciting fat!!

Well done! Great weight loss! :)
 
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