flirty40greeneyes
Busy busy busy!!
I've posted this in my diary - so apologies to those of you who've already read it. But I want some positive vibes etc and any advice on how to control my life/eating ... and so thought by posting in the general forum maybe someone would read and be able to say something that might "flick a switch in my brain" (it must be anti-slimist brain as it's doing it's best to ignore me so far!) I just want to go back to the wonderful days of SS or 790 when I didnot use food as a reward or crutch for when I was feeling bad - any tips??? Please!!!!
So what's going wrong??? When my life's out of control my eating goes out of control and so somehow I need to change that and get both back. Easier said than done, but otherwise it becomes a viscious circle of unhappiness , eating , unhappiness eating .
My mum's still really poorly - she's now starting to get incontinent - I won't give you TMI but she's having a commode delivered today and also looking at a wheelchair. This has been such a rapid shift in her health from reasonably healthy to bedridden since 21 Aug. Her memory is going and I'm not sure if that's because of the shingles and losing track of things or the onset of dementia. Feel helpless watching her almost slip away, especially as I'm 250miles away. We're going down to Kent this weekend to visit them and I'm dreading it as I know that she will have declined since last time I saw her.
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She would often start sentences and then not be able to finish them. Quite scary actually, not at like your mum. I do hope she can recover her memory as she gets better.
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She does look very frail and her eyes looked a bit ....vacant sometimes.
These are comments from my sister in law who saw her on Saturday.
The other thing is my brother has been moved to an open prison and I'm going to visit him at the weekend too. Him and his wife have split up since he's been in prison and he's so angry/bitter about her. He obviously can't speak to my parents so rings me ... and at the moment he makes me feel "bogged down" with his worries and concerns, which then makes me feel guilty as he has no-one else to talk to. I've tried writing to him to say that he's going through a grieving process etc and that's why he feels like he does. He's after revenge on my S-I-L and I'm trying to talk him out of it, advising him to put it behind him etc. But it's opening old memories (both him and my mum are very manipulating and controlling characters and my relationship with them has often been fraught) and I'm finding myself in a spiral of talking to him on the 'phone, then worrying about it half the night when I should be asleep. As you can see I'm a troubled soul at the moment.
So not surprisingly my diet and SS or 790 has gone out of the window!!! I haven't put on - but I soooooo want to lose 2stone + and be back in my size 12's ... I'd even settle for not feeling so uncomfie in my size 14's at the moment! I'm ashamed and embarrassed that i've posted claims on here about doing SS, then going down through the plans, and now 790 and failed at sticking to any of them. So no claims, promises etc ... except that I will come on here offload the s*** in my life in my diary and hopefully have a go at getting some normality(??????????!!!!!!!) and control back in my life!
Again apologies if you've now read this twice ... but desparate to get the discipline of eating food back - and whilst I can counsel other people ... I can't motivate or "sit in the other chair" for myself!
So what's going wrong??? When my life's out of control my eating goes out of control and so somehow I need to change that and get both back. Easier said than done, but otherwise it becomes a viscious circle of unhappiness , eating , unhappiness eating .
My mum's still really poorly - she's now starting to get incontinent - I won't give you TMI but she's having a commode delivered today and also looking at a wheelchair. This has been such a rapid shift in her health from reasonably healthy to bedridden since 21 Aug. Her memory is going and I'm not sure if that's because of the shingles and losing track of things or the onset of dementia. Feel helpless watching her almost slip away, especially as I'm 250miles away. We're going down to Kent this weekend to visit them and I'm dreading it as I know that she will have declined since last time I saw her.
Quote:
She would often start sentences and then not be able to finish them. Quite scary actually, not at like your mum. I do hope she can recover her memory as she gets better.
Quote:
She does look very frail and her eyes looked a bit ....vacant sometimes.
These are comments from my sister in law who saw her on Saturday.
The other thing is my brother has been moved to an open prison and I'm going to visit him at the weekend too. Him and his wife have split up since he's been in prison and he's so angry/bitter about her. He obviously can't speak to my parents so rings me ... and at the moment he makes me feel "bogged down" with his worries and concerns, which then makes me feel guilty as he has no-one else to talk to. I've tried writing to him to say that he's going through a grieving process etc and that's why he feels like he does. He's after revenge on my S-I-L and I'm trying to talk him out of it, advising him to put it behind him etc. But it's opening old memories (both him and my mum are very manipulating and controlling characters and my relationship with them has often been fraught) and I'm finding myself in a spiral of talking to him on the 'phone, then worrying about it half the night when I should be asleep. As you can see I'm a troubled soul at the moment.
So not surprisingly my diet and SS or 790 has gone out of the window!!! I haven't put on - but I soooooo want to lose 2stone + and be back in my size 12's ... I'd even settle for not feeling so uncomfie in my size 14's at the moment! I'm ashamed and embarrassed that i've posted claims on here about doing SS, then going down through the plans, and now 790 and failed at sticking to any of them. So no claims, promises etc ... except that I will come on here offload the s*** in my life in my diary and hopefully have a go at getting some normality(??????????!!!!!!!) and control back in my life!
Again apologies if you've now read this twice ... but desparate to get the discipline of eating food back - and whilst I can counsel other people ... I can't motivate or "sit in the other chair" for myself!