Life begins at 40!!!

[sunshine1]

Day 1 over with and i did find it tough. I thought about food constantly.
Tried the porridge first, it did smell nice whilst mixing it and then i put it in the microwave......made me feel very nauseous, the smell, the taste and the texture.

Started getting a headache around midday and popped along to supermarket for sin free painkillers, quite difficult to find as i can't get the standard round paracetamol down my throat, even chopped lol.......such a woose

Had veg soup for lunch, it was not too bad but soooo wanted a piece of crusty bread to go along with it but i resisted.

Headache still hasn't shifted.

Mushroom soup next, started off ok but half way through it became quite powdery in texture and struggled to get the last few mouthfulls down but so pleased i did as i didn't feel hungry after it.

I did think about other diets throughout the day, is this the right one for me, can i really stick to this and give up my addiction to food.

One day down without my normal banquet of food

Now i know i can do it

 

[sunshine1]

When i got my food packs on Monday night i was really unsure what i would like as i am sure everyone did so i decided to go for 14 porridge.....i usually like it and thought, i can have 1 for brekkie and 1 for supper.....big mistake lol. I tried it twice and i really couldn't stomach it. Took the remainder back to change for shakes this is scary at this point as i have never had a milkshake in my life but i know i need to eat and porridge is a no no. Soups weren't much better with the exception of the veg.

Friday, day 4- Really gonna have to give these shakes a chance.....thinking to myself! the banana wasn't as bad as i thought, the strawberry was even quite nice. I start smiling now and know i can cope with this after having my peanut bar.

Managed to sit with a bottle of water when i had to take someone out for lunch at work yesterday. I felt so proud of myself, sad i know but i felt great.

Logged on here after work yesterday and read the jan start thread....not all 170 pages, just 70 gives me inspiration reading other peoples success stories and the support that they all give each other.

Not sure if it's just me but i always think that i am different to everyone else, losing weight is harder for me, i can't do it, it's other people that lose it and i will fail again. I know these are all excuses that i use to justify to myself why i have not managed to stick to a plan and caved in once again.
Not this time.... i know i can do it. No excuses this time

Day 6

Feeling on top of the world at the mo, can't believe it after feeling so rotten for the first 3 days.

The sun is shining

 

[sunshine1]

The reasons i am on lighter life

They say life begins at 40. I turned 40 a few weeks ago and got engaged to a wonderful and supportive man.
I will not be a fat bride this time lol

I have 2 wonderful grandchildren that i want to be able to run around in the park with.

People tell me that i am a glamorous granny but i don't feel it.

My partner is very fit and cycles every day. My bike has sat in the spare room for 3 years and has never touched the road yet.

I want to have the energy to do every day stuff without feeling sluggish and making excuse not to do them as i'm tired.

I have a skin disease which is exasperated by being overweight and causes me so much pain nearly every day.

I never want to have to shop in Evans and pay stupid prices for clothes ever again.....how can they get away with it!!!!!

These are the main reasons but i may come back with more!

Sunshine:character00238:

 

[sunshine1]

I have ankle bones

I can't remember the last time i saw my ankles! they usually look like pork chops lol

How happy am i:bliss:

Just felt the need to share.

 

[fairyfloss]

Yay, you're doing really really well. Congratulations on the ankle bones!

 

[sunshine1]

Yay, you're doing really really well. Congratulations on the ankle bones!

Thanx hon.

Had my first week weigh in last night and managed to lose 10.5lb

Got a pounding headache this morning but i think it's just cause i've just finished nightshift.

A couple of people at work said they noticed my weightloss......sure they were just being kind! unless they were looking at my ankles lol

 

[sunshine1]

How mental is this......i needed to move my belt up a notch

 

[sunshine1]

Day 9
Feeling a bit flat today.
Pi**ed off with myself for giving my other half the silent treatment last night just because he was sitting down to chicken kiev!
I felt so sorry for myself and had to go to my room and sob for an hour. I think it just dawned on me that i won't be eating food again for a long time....just sunk in.
Think i was grieving to be honest for my loss (food)
I wasn't hungry but so wanted to feel it in my mouth, taste the lovely flavour and feel that bursting out of my skin feeling.

I went off to work bout 9.30 and never apologised to the OH. I was too ashamed to tell him what was upsetting me.

Came in from work at 8 this morning and still couldn't discuss my feelings, that's just me, keep it all in.

I am sitting in a tired emotional state trying to get my head round this no food thing. I will not give in, that would be so easy to do and i would never be able to forgive myself.

I discussed my weight loss plan with my work colleagues, some are concerned and others give me encouragement so i think that is keeping me going too. I would hate to say that i gave up.....not an option.

So, gonna spend some time reading some more threads on here and try and snap out of this.

One year down the line i will be reading this and will have a chuckle to my slim self!

 

[John_T]

You are doing really well sunshine and I don't blame you for sulking over your lack of Chicken Kiev!! It's a hard thing you are doing but it is worth the pain, every time I feel low I look at my graph and re-empahise to myself that each day of sacrifice is one day closer to the time I can lead a life with a semblance of normality again.

 

[sunshine1]

Thanks john
you have done amazing, nearly 4st in just over 2 months, what an achievment, well done.

I really don't think i will give in. i am finding this hard but it won't be as hard as giving up.

Had a pop in on Thurs night, day 10 and had lost another 4lb so pretty pleased with that. Can't believe that is a whole stone off in less than 2 weeks

Visited my future father in law last night and he remarked on how well i was looking....i blushed. We hadn't seen him since before our holiday in crete so i just said it must be the suntan! Can't believe that was only 5 weeks ago when we were sunning ourselves.
One month today since we got engaged too....how time flies

i visited my 18yr old daughter today, she also noticed that i looked different, said my hair and skin were looking fab. Made me smile and think it is all worth it.

Yip, feeling pretty good today and looking forward to weigh in tomorrow night. not looking for a huge loss but is still good to know how everyone else is getting on.

 

[jenpen]

Well done Sunshine for loosing that first stone so quickly- amazing!
You must feel great with all those complements too- you posts are a real tonic to read and hope you don't mind me adding to your diary!
Congratulations. X jenny

 

[sunshine1]

Thanx jen, it does feel really nice to have people compliment me even though i don't really notice that much of a difference myself yet.

Don't mind you adding at all, glad you find them a tonic....i just say it as it is lol

Good luck with your weight loss journey, you're not doing so bad yourself, keep it up x

 

[sunshine1]

Well, week 2 weigh......6lb off

I can't believe it to be honest, keep thinking that the LLc has some how rigged the scales to make me feel good...it works anyway cause i feel fab.

I will be a slim bride!!!!

I feel for a friend of mine that has been on the plan for 7 weeks now. Her GP has told her to give it up. She has been ill for a couple of weeks now and has started throwing up blood they are testing to see what's up. really hope it is just a reaction to the diet rather than something more serious. She was doing soooo well, lost 3st 11lb on the plan. she will be gutted at having to stop but her health is more important.

Feeling guilty for feeling so good when she is in pain. Not sure if i should keep telling her how i am getting on either, don't want her to feel worse.

Oh well, should be getting ready for work instead of sitting on here!

Another thing before i go. a couple of the girls in the group noticed my weight loss should i have said i noticed theirs even though i didn't???

 

[sunshine1]

Day 19

Had a couple of yuck feeling days, thankfully it has been my days off. Only managed to do 3 packs both days, just couldn't face any more. Also struggling with the water, only managed 2 ltrs max.
doubting myself, can i do this for the long haul....i hope so.

I haven't cheated but the temptation has been there. I have started to resent my partner for eating....what a b**ch!

I have been sleeping quite a lot also, haven't been out the door, just don't have the energy or motivation at the mo.

Need to shake these feelings off pretty soon. off to work soon, hopefully that will help keep me going.

Guess i am just feeling sorry for myself!!!!!! after all, i am the only one in the world that is going through this!

 

[sunshine1]

3rd weigh in tonight and i feel really nervous.

I have abstained for 3 weeks now but i feel soooo heavy today. I will be so gutted if i haven't lost.

I guess, there's no point in worrying about it but it is hard. I'm doubting myself all the time and really feel deep down that this weightloss programme won't work for me, i will be the exception to the rule.

Will be back later to update!

 

[jenpen]

Good luck, Sunshine. I'm sure twill be fine !
Stop doubting yourself and hope the scales give you a hugh boost!
Jenny x

 

[sunshine1]

Thanx jen i know i was worrying unnecessarily but i couldn't help it.

I lost 4lb and gained a few worry lines but hey ho, i can handle that lol.

Feeling a bit more positive today.

3 weeks down and 10 bags of sugar less to carry about

will try and get more mobile this week as i know this weight loss will slow down more now and i don't want it to so hopefully a bit excercise will keep it coming off at a good rate.

 

[rebecca02uk]

Hey Sunshine,

Was good to read your blog.

Just wondered how your friend was doing - is she okay?

Also, keep going...you are doing a fantastic job and it's people like you that myself and other new starters look up to for inspiration!!x

 

[sunshine1]

Thanks rebecca, my friend is ok, doc thinks it is a virus.

I have decided to stop LL, i am just finding the no food thing just too tough.
I am still sticking to the packs at the mo but am meeting a CDC on Thurs to change on to the 810 plan. I just need something to eat.

I kinda feel like a cheat but i know i won't be able to carry on like this much longer. The need for food is overwhelming. And i will manage it easier financially.

I do realise that i won't be losing as much but i don't have a deadline to lose this weight.

I am not going to give up, just taking a different road which will hopefully be easier for me.

 

[sunshine1]

Well, i picked up my CD packs on Thurs night and started my CD journey on Fri.

I am coping much better knowing i can have a little something to eat every day, makes such a difference to me.

I still don't have to think about it really. A bit of chicken or fish with some veg.

the shakes don't taste as nice as the LL ones but i will manage.

Hopefully my losses won't slow down too much but if they do, i know i can do ss if i need to

Will just have to wait and see how it goes.