Lighter Life and Boyfriend..

[-Gem-]

Hey everyone,
My first post on here
I'm 28yrs old, 17st 8lbs and started VLCD diet yesterday, the same as LightLife Total but I'm doing it from packs purchased online as I can't afford LLT and my doctor refused to sign my forms :wave_cry: my mum is on LLT and is a counsellor so is trying to relay most of the CBT.

Anyhow, I started last week and on day 3 (Friday night) my boyfriend convinced me to eat.. Okay, I know I could have said no, but I don't think I'd got into Ketosis and my willpower was low.. anyhow, I cheated and that went on all weekend.

I've decided to try again with the encouragement from my mum, and I told the boyfriend I was sticking to it 100% and wanted his encouragement, he agreed.

End of day 1 yesterday and he was asking me about what I wanted for dinner, so I said my cottage pie packet, and he was complaining saying he wanted to cook me something nice.

He doesn't have a weight problem at all, and something nice to him is kids food, so it's not him trying to fill me with salad and vegetables for my health.

I've decided to plough my way through his tempations and get this weight off, any suggestions on how to combat his obvious attempts at sabotage? and has anyone else had this with their family?

Thanks everyone, Gem

p.s I'm logging my journey in a blog, are we allowed to post the link?

 

[eatlikeabird]

I have friends who keep telling me 'it can't be healthy', I'm 'killing myself' not eating, I 'look fine the way I am'. If I get sick then its because of the diet, etc, etc.
I just keep looking at the reality of my situation. My legs were swollen, my skin felt like a stretched balloon, I was on the way to type 2 diabetes, my knees, ankles, and feet were painful from the weight, I was killing myself by overeating. And I deserve to wear the clothes I want and feel good about myself.
I don't have pressure of sharing mealtimes with someone who is sabotaging my efforts, but I do keep focused on the reasons why I'm doing this. If I let others influence my actions then I'm only sabotaging myself from reaching the goals I've set for myself. Its my choice, and I make the choice to stick with this everyday. And when you see the results its so worth it.
One suggestion would be to stick to your guns and let him see that he can't influence you to eat. Everytime you give in you are encouraging him to keep on sabotaging because he got what he wanted. Its like a child that keeps pushing and pushing to get what they want and to get you to give in. LLT is all about adult thinking and you can make the choice for yourself what you eat. Stay strong. I started at 17st6 and now I'm near 2 and a half stone lost,, 1/3 of the way there, and I can't wait to lose the next 2 stone. You will get there too if you stick with it.

 

[-Gem-]

Thanks so much for the reply.. & well done on the weight loss!!

I've decided that he isn't going to ruin this diet for me.. whether he is doing it maliciously or because he's concerned then it doesn't matter as it's not him that has to carry this weight around.

He can be a little selfish and childish at times so I'm thinking he just wants me to eat with him, even though I am! It obviously doesn't suit him lol.

Well it doesn't suit me to be this big, I was so much happier slimmer a few years ago before I met him and I want to be back there.. if he doesn't like it, then fine, I won't be liking his attitude and might shed him if it doesn't change (i'm just annoyed).

He's very insecure really, so I kinda know that is the issue.

 

[Ulysses31]

Hi Gem, welcome to the fold

Sorry to hear your boyfriend isn't being supportive. I think you've hit the nail on the head with it being his insecurity. Even though the conscious thought probably hasn't occurred to him, deep down he's probably worried you'll dump him once you've got to goal. You read about situations like that all the time.

As for what to do about it, I really can't advise. Just as there could be many reasons for him doing what he's doing, there could be numerous ways to address it. Just remember that we're all behind you 100%.

 

[SandraCaerdydd]

oh dear I had the same problem with a guy I started seeing in January when I was well into ketosis and loosing well we met up and straight away he was negative about the not eating, and gradually wore me down - he cooked lovely meals then pouted if i wanted my soup or shake. He actually bought things he knew were my trigger foods ben and jerry's for instance....
it ended up in a blazing row and he actually said ' i am worried if you loose too much weight you will go off with someone else and leave me' about a week later I decided I needed to break up with him for my health and not massage his ego or support his insecurities by his wanting to keep me fat,
So I am now restarting my journey and I feel so much better - I personally would rather be alone than be with someone like my ex xx try to tell him that you want to be with him, it is not up to him what you eat or dont eat and you are most of all doing this for YOU xxx

 

[Want2BeSlim]

Ohh I feel for you, people doing things like that can make sticking to plan difficult, especially if your will power is low. (I know mine is!)

I can't really suggest anything because my ex was the total opposite, he wanted me to eat rabbit food and tiny portions because he thought I was fat (my heaviest weight while with him was 12 and a half stone)... I got down to 10 and a half stone and he still said I needed to lose weight, he was so cruel. But, my mum is the opposite, she offers me food (food I shouldn't be having) while I'm on diets and I know it's not because she doesn't want me to lose weight or anything, I think she simply feels bad for me when I diet and that I miss the food I love even if it made me severely overweight. I just feel bad going on at her telling her no she must not offer me 'bad' stuff because I need to lose weight. It's a little annoying but I know she doesn't mean any harm by it. She doesn't know I'm starting exante this weekend, so I'm planning on telling her soon and discussing with her about not offering me food etc because it will only make my journey harder. She's such a supportive mum, but it kind of back fires in my face because she knows I LOVE food and loves offering me it lol. I'm 25 but she treats me and my brother like we're still kids, bless her.

Anyway good luck and I hope he becomes more supportive and stops encouraging you to eat things you shouldn't be!

 

[roundrachel]

Tell him you want to lose weight to feel sexy again. That you're going to look great in sexy lingere. It's what i told my boyfriend and he soon shut up when I showed him a photo of the underwear I'm going to buy when I reach goal!

 

[-Gem-]

Thanks for the support everyone

& yes I've explained the sexy underwear / outfits I can wear when I'm thinner and not just the plus size range..

He has been a little better this time round, I'm at day 4 now and apart from his comment about eating a nice meal on day 1, he hasn't said anything bad.. even spurred me on when I was struggling last night.. so maybe it was just a blip.. who knows..

I am finding it hard eating meals with him, but I'll just carry on.

Had my first full day in Uni since starting the plan and it was so hard.. luckily I didn't have to eat with anyone else and so I managed to get through it.. I can only have bars though as no cooking facilities, which is a pain.

Thanks again!

 

[UmmZakaria]

I'm glad to hear that you've got some support from your boyfriend now, eating "meals" together can be tough but it does get easier I promise

I think with our boyfriends / husbands etc. there can sometimes be an element of them being unconvinced that this "diet" will be any different from any others that we've tried. I know before LL I did low-carb, Weight Watchers etc. and made such a big hoo haa about it all and then a few days / weeks / months later it'd all be out the window and I'd be back to where I started. I think when I first started talking about Lighter Life my husband didn't take too much notice because he just presumed that it was going to be another flash in the pan kind of diet where I'd lose a bit, get bored and then put it back on again. I remember him making some comment about results being the important bit and not just the talking and actions and I think he was just a bit disillusioned about it all and fed up of seeing me getting excited and then depressed when I didn't see it through. I think as soon as he saw that I was serious about Lighter Life and that I was in in for the long haul he stopped worrying about it and was uber supportive.

I think what I'm trying to say is that he might be worried about you but the more he sees you succeed the more supportive he will hopefully be!

Good luck! xx