Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Hiyas
I was going to post this on my RTM diary, but then thought it was worth posting here. There is a brief mention of food, but nothing tasty.
I am just going to copy it here rather then re-type it, and I hope it gives those who struggle or doubt a little more oompfh for them to know there efforts are not in vain....
=====================
I did not like having to eat the Frozen Lassagna, even if it was a 'healthy choice' or whatever. I am really trying to omit processed food entirely. In fact - thats the first time. but it was so late (after hours of discussion with OH about finances – which, well, that’s a whole other chapter about emotional triggers, which maybe I really should address. Hmmmmm…..I sense a stream of consciousness coming…..but I won;t go into it now)
Anyway, one of my lifestyle changes I am making permanent is to be done with dinner by 6:30 or 7pm at the latest. We used to eat between 8 and 9, sometimes later. Anyway, it was late, I was tired after spending the whole day completing job applications – one even 20 bloody pages long, and I probably won’t get the damn job anyway…lol…so it was a high stress day. I had this frozen lasagna in the freezer and I read the label – it all checked out….low fat, low carb, etc., so I felt that was better rather then trying to prepare something and then not eating until 8:30 or 9:00, and I was exhausted and wanted to go to bed and shut the day off. So I had it.
Thinking about last night, I have noticed and realised something today. I have looked over some of the days in my food diary over the last week or so, and some days, like today, I am not eating enough. And I realised I have been dealing with a lot of stuff….homesick through the holidays, big time…..redundancy and final notice given, now the panic to get a job in the next 3 weeks, ….taxes in the states need paying, I’ve been struggling with my own account, and talking about money nearly makes me physicaly ill (my ex and I had MAJOR MAJOR problems with money argument being the staple of our relationship – really horrible memories, and left me with sort of a “knee-jerk” reaction when money needs discussing. I just shut down and want to disappear. Its horrible really. Also, I realised on our last holiday in November that my arthritis is now presenting itself on the other side – my good side – of my neck. Slowly now, but unfortunately I know what lies ahead. ANd it is very difficult to sleep comfortably. Plus the waiting for an MRI for my hip – all this stuff, is starting to get on top of me a little bit. (I did see the consultant today so the request for MRI goes in now - plus some kind of electric test to test nerve damage progression or something)
So yeah - after loads of waffle - I think I am getting a little stressed.
But what is so blindingly amazing – is through all of this, I have not once reached for something to eat. Not once. Nor have I thought of it. In fact, I am eating less! Good grief – could I now be one of those “normal” people that stops eating when they get stressed??? Holy moly – LL really REALLY seems to have changed me……I just am starting to believe more and more , even with my wobbly doubtful moments – I am believing this is going to work.
A year ago, I’d barely be coming up for air – I would be burying myself in biscuits and bonbons and drowning myself in self-pity and soda.
=====================================================
So, what I really wanted to say peeps, is its hard work guys and gals – but trust me – it is just so amazing, discovering new things every step of the way and even after the progam is complete.
You have SO much to look forward too. SO much.
Oh – AND – found out today that a hospital gown now fits and flatters!! And most importantly – covers everything up. A time and a half.
Well, time for a coffee and smoke, and then must get busy doing something.
THanks for making it through my waffle....I jst wanted to share that whenever you have any doubts, shake them off as going a time without food and suffering through that is NOTHING compared to the BENEFIT of doing it. It's an amazing thing for me. And i am just reallllly happy.
XX
I was going to post this on my RTM diary, but then thought it was worth posting here. There is a brief mention of food, but nothing tasty.
I am just going to copy it here rather then re-type it, and I hope it gives those who struggle or doubt a little more oompfh for them to know there efforts are not in vain....=====================
I did not like having to eat the Frozen Lassagna, even if it was a 'healthy choice' or whatever. I am really trying to omit processed food entirely. In fact - thats the first time. but it was so late (after hours of discussion with OH about finances – which, well, that’s a whole other chapter about emotional triggers, which maybe I really should address. Hmmmmm…..I sense a stream of consciousness coming…..but I won;t go into it now)
Anyway, one of my lifestyle changes I am making permanent is to be done with dinner by 6:30 or 7pm at the latest. We used to eat between 8 and 9, sometimes later. Anyway, it was late, I was tired after spending the whole day completing job applications – one even 20 bloody pages long, and I probably won’t get the damn job anyway…lol…so it was a high stress day. I had this frozen lasagna in the freezer and I read the label – it all checked out….low fat, low carb, etc., so I felt that was better rather then trying to prepare something and then not eating until 8:30 or 9:00, and I was exhausted and wanted to go to bed and shut the day off. So I had it.
Thinking about last night, I have noticed and realised something today. I have looked over some of the days in my food diary over the last week or so, and some days, like today, I am not eating enough. And I realised I have been dealing with a lot of stuff….homesick through the holidays, big time…..redundancy and final notice given, now the panic to get a job in the next 3 weeks, ….taxes in the states need paying, I’ve been struggling with my own account, and talking about money nearly makes me physicaly ill (my ex and I had MAJOR MAJOR problems with money argument being the staple of our relationship – really horrible memories, and left me with sort of a “knee-jerk” reaction when money needs discussing. I just shut down and want to disappear. Its horrible really. Also, I realised on our last holiday in November that my arthritis is now presenting itself on the other side – my good side – of my neck. Slowly now, but unfortunately I know what lies ahead. ANd it is very difficult to sleep comfortably. Plus the waiting for an MRI for my hip – all this stuff, is starting to get on top of me a little bit. (I did see the consultant today so the request for MRI goes in now - plus some kind of electric test to test nerve damage progression or something)
So yeah - after loads of waffle - I think I am getting a little stressed.
But what is so blindingly amazing – is through all of this, I have not once reached for something to eat. Not once. Nor have I thought of it. In fact, I am eating less! Good grief – could I now be one of those “normal” people that stops eating when they get stressed??? Holy moly – LL really REALLY seems to have changed me……I just am starting to believe more and more , even with my wobbly doubtful moments – I am believing this is going to work.
A year ago, I’d barely be coming up for air – I would be burying myself in biscuits and bonbons and drowning myself in self-pity and soda.
=====================================================
So, what I really wanted to say peeps, is its hard work guys and gals – but trust me – it is just so amazing, discovering new things every step of the way and even after the progam is complete.
You have SO much to look forward too. SO much.
Oh – AND – found out today that a hospital gown now fits and flatters!!
And most importantly – covers everything up. A time and a half. Well, time for a coffee and smoke, and then must get busy doing something.
THanks for making it through my waffle....I jst wanted to share that whenever you have any doubts, shake them off as going a time without food and suffering through that is NOTHING compared to the BENEFIT of doing it. It's an amazing thing for me. And i am just reallllly happy.
XX
