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LL Life changes keep unfolding. Gets better and better!!!

S: 258lb C: 228lb G: 168lb BMI: 35.7 Loss: 30lb(11.63%)

I was going to post this on my RTM diary, but then thought it was worth posting here. There is a brief mention of food, but nothing tasty. :D I am just going to copy it here rather then re-type it, and I hope it gives those who struggle or doubt a little more oompfh for them to know there efforts are not in vain....


I did not like having to eat the Frozen Lassagna, even if it was a 'healthy choice' or whatever. I am really trying to omit processed food entirely. In fact - thats the first time. but it was so late (after hours of discussion with OH about finances – which, well, that’s a whole other chapter about emotional triggers, which maybe I really should address. Hmmmmm…..I sense a stream of consciousness coming…..but I won;t go into it now)

Anyway, one of my lifestyle changes I am making permanent is to be done with dinner by 6:30 or 7pm at the latest. We used to eat between 8 and 9, sometimes later. Anyway, it was late, I was tired after spending the whole day completing job applications – one even 20 bloody pages long, and I probably won’t get the damn job anyway…lol…so it was a high stress day. I had this frozen lasagna in the freezer and I read the label – it all checked out….low fat, low carb, etc., so I felt that was better rather then trying to prepare something and then not eating until 8:30 or 9:00, and I was exhausted and wanted to go to bed and shut the day off. So I had it.

Thinking about last night, I have noticed and realised something today. I have looked over some of the days in my food diary over the last week or so, and some days, like today, I am not eating enough. And I realised I have been dealing with a lot of stuff….homesick through the holidays, big time…..redundancy and final notice given, now the panic to get a job in the next 3 weeks, ….taxes in the states need paying, I’ve been struggling with my own account, and talking about money nearly makes me physicaly ill (my ex and I had MAJOR MAJOR problems with money argument being the staple of our relationship – really horrible memories, and left me with sort of a “knee-jerk” reaction when money needs discussing. I just shut down and want to disappear. Its horrible really. Also, I realised on our last holiday in November that my arthritis is now presenting itself on the other side – my good side – of my neck. Slowly now, but unfortunately I know what lies ahead. ANd it is very difficult to sleep comfortably. Plus the waiting for an MRI for my hip – all this stuff, is starting to get on top of me a little bit. (I did see the consultant today so the request for MRI goes in now - plus some kind of electric test to test nerve damage progression or something)
So yeah - after loads of waffle - I think I am getting a little stressed.
But what is so blindingly amazing – is through all of this, I have not once reached for something to eat. Not once. Nor have I thought of it. In fact, I am eating less! Good grief – could I now be one of those “normal” people that stops eating when they get stressed??? Holy moly – LL really REALLY seems to have changed me……I just am starting to believe more and more , even with my wobbly doubtful moments – I am believing this is going to work.

A year ago, I’d barely be coming up for air – I would be burying myself in biscuits and bonbons and drowning myself in self-pity and soda.

So, what I really wanted to say peeps, is its hard work guys and gals – but trust me – it is just so amazing, discovering new things every step of the way and even after the progam is complete.

You have SO much to look forward too. SO much.

Oh – AND – found out today that a hospital gown now fits and flatters!! :D :D And most importantly – covers everything up. A time and a half. :D

Well, time for a coffee and smoke, and then must get busy doing something.

THanks for making it through my waffle....I jst wanted to share that whenever you have any doubts, shake them off as going a time without food and suffering through that is NOTHING compared to the BENEFIT of doing it. It's an amazing thing for me. And i am just reallllly happy.

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S: 16st10lb C: 13st7.5lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 29.7 Loss: 3st2.5lb(19.02%)
Brill post BL - thanks for posting over here too :)

I have always wanted to be a 'stop eating when stressed' person - I hope I inherit this new gene too, hehehe.

Well done getting through all your stress and stuff without reaching for food - this really is a whole new you, and I am so proud to have been a witness to your journey so far... the start of an amazing, controlled, happy life - you lucky sod... just a few more months for me, and I hope to be writing something similar! :p

great post BL. Unfortunately I'm still a 'fill you face when stressed' person and have fallen off the wagon big time over Christmas.
Facing it though and going for a weigh in this evening to see what the damage is and work out how to rectify it.

I'm the same about money and it's one of the reasons I'm so stressed at the moment. Plus work is stupidly busy and it's the 1st anniversary of my Dad's death on 13th Feb and there are so many horrible memories of what it was like this time last year. Fell out with my family over Xmas and can feel my depression lurking too so all in all not great.

Feel positive about so many things too though so it's not all bad. My mindset has definitely changed. I don't ignore problems any more. I look after myself more. I make more time for me.

Really well done on facing such a tough time with such a positive attitude BL. You continue to inspire me and keep me on track :) xx
S: 258lb C: 228lb G: 168lb BMI: 35.7 Loss: 30lb(11.63%)
Thanks Anna. Its quite something new to me to be coasting through it all! ANd I know you will be there before you know it. You will! :)

Thanks too Rachel. Sorry its rough for you right now. :( Its a tough tme of year for sure. But this whole lifestyle changing is all one step at a time, and I know you will master it. You've done so well, and are continuing to learn about yourself and make the changes you need. One step at a time. :)

Thanks ladies. :)

BL You are sooooooooooo right

Being a slim person puts a different perspective on everything. Why is it that
events that would previously have made us feel unworthy, depressed etc etc now don't have the power to do it?
Thank goodness!! Think of all the stresses you are dealing with at the moment - how would you have reacted before LL?
I SO admire the way you are not turnong to food.
Being happy with being slim covers so many things - even down to :
being able to put jeans/tights/underwear on while standing up
not needing to sit down and wonder why you can't reach your toes!
Walking upstairs without getting puffed out.
Being able to go for a walk with your OH and talk at the same time without going beetroot red and feeling like you are dying!
Coming down the stairs in heels without having to hold on to the side.
Not being recognised on the security camera at work.
And that's just today!

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