Major Rant Other Half so unsupportive!

[gemma1985]

So I have been on SW for a longgg time now and have more or less maintained my weight for the last 5/6 years, albeit this up and down 7lb or so. Anyway since booking our holiday I have really cracked down in an effort to shift a dress size and it's just causing no end of arguements. He moaned even when I was maintaining - but usually I would be more relaxed on weekends and such but now I'm keeping a food diary so writing down everything I eat and trying to be good on weekends (my total fall down).

So we tend to go shopping together and I will plan what I'm going to cook over the weekend (we don't live together but spend all weekends together) it's all food he likes etc but I'm just getting so upset by the hurtful comments, don't get me wrong I'm not over weight I just want to get back to original target so I feel confident in myself in my bikini!

I'm getting told I'm obsessed, I have a problem, I look awful now and looked better before, I'm ruining the weekends because I'm watching what I eat etc etc

I'm getting sooo angry about this, I know he is concious of his own weight and I have sat down and talked to him about it even tried explaining the diet to him and he likes the meals I make!! suggesting we go on bike rides together etc but he just can't stick to it and I know it's his insecurities plaguing him and I've said this to him and discussed how he feels but it does no good the comments keep coming and I just can't help but feel if he's being this spiteful/unsupportive about this what have I got to look forward to. Feel so fed up :cry:

 

[kingleds]

Hmm, tough one. He could genuniely be looking out for you ,and worried that you are trying to reach a completely unobtainable goal, and will make yourself ill in the process. Equally, he could be feeling very insecure. There was a study recently that showed a majority of people in relationships who start to loose weight are doing it because they are unhappy about their current relationship, and want to be in the best physical shape for the next one. Personally I thinks it a bunch of rubbish, but its entirely possible thats where his thinking is taking him.

Regardless, I'd be interested to understands how you watching what you eat at weekends could 'ruin' the weekend for him. My OH follows SW throughout the week, but he drinks & eats whatever he wants at the weekend. Sometimes i join him, sometimes not. We go out for dinner, I stay on plan, he doesn't. We go out for a drink, I stay on plan, he doesn't. At no point is my staying on plan ruining his weekend. So unless you are stopping him from eating & drinking what he wants, he needs to wind his neck in.

 

[*Emsie*]

I find it a bit difficult now at weekends as my hubby tends to have few beers/snacks etc and I do feel it puts up a bit of a divide if I'm trying to be good and resist. He doesn't say too much about it but I often end up going in other rooms etc and away from temptations.
I don't really know what the answer is because I know if I ate and drank what he did every weekend etc I would gain weight and I don't want to do that but its also down to him what he eats as well. He doesn't have weight problems but its not healthy to eat rubbish and drink too often anyway and I do tellim that but its his choice at the end of the day.
Sorry I haven't much helpful to post as I do understand some of the difficulties.
Maybe he is finding the same with a bit of a divide thing and could it be that he is struggling to face up to his weight and because you are being strong it is making him concious of it?
Hope you can find some sort of compromise and he stops being being hurtful with his comments x
Oh and despite having encouraged me to lose weight when I had lost enough for hubby to be happier about my health but I wanted to lose more for myself hubby went through a stage of thinking I was losing weight for 'others'.......the tw@*

 

[gemma1985]

yeah good points and I always say my "diet" doesn't affect him I don't tell him what to eat or ever make him feel bad about what he eats/drinks. I think it's his insecurities to be honest I've told him that I am just being 100% until after holiday and will lay off a little after and it's not as if i'm starving myself (currently cooking a jacket potato, beans and quorn burgers!!) I tell him what I am eating and point out the huge amounts of food I'm eating so he knows I am not doing anything silly or any kind of crash diet (been there and got the t-shirt!) I think maybe because I am quite lucky and can lose quick maybe he is just concerned... god knows men really are from mars sometimes! haha

 

[kingleds]

So if you have a track record of going on crash diets it might simply be he's worried about you hun x

 

[Shirleen]

Sounds like he's projecting...he feels uncomfortable eating what HE wants when you aren't 'enabling' him by joining in so he's looking at it as censure.
I think you need to toughen up and tell HIM that actually HE is ruining YOUR weekend by his constant whining.

 

[tara40]

Sounds like he's projecting...he feels uncomfortable eating what HE wants when you aren't 'enabling' him by joining in so he's looking at it as censure.
I think you need to toughen up and tell HIM that actually HE is ruining YOUR weekend by his constant whining.

I agree

 

[AnnaFaraday]

Stop talking about it! You have explained what you are doing - you don't have to go on explaining, there is nothing to be gained by it. Just do what you want to do and don't discuss it. You don't have to justify yourself to anyone.