Maybe this time (Aubergine stumbles towards goal)

Discussion in 'Weight Loss Diaries' started by Aubergine, 3 December 2006 Social URL.

  1. Aubergine

    Aubergine Member

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    I've been lurking around this site since finding Icemoose's diary while googling for Lighter Life, way back in September. It took me two weeks to pluck up courage to call someone from the Cambridge Diet site.

    I count it as a great kindness from Fate or God or chance or The Giant Green Pixie In The Sky or whatever it is that determines the way the cards fall for us that the person at the other end of the phone was Summerskye.

    I only really called up for information but somehow on Friday 13th September, after meeting her I found myself agreeing to give CD a try -- and sole-sourcing at that and I started on the Sunday.

    I love that it was Friday 13th. It fits with the rest of my life -- my parents met on Halloween, I came into the world ar$e first etc etc -- so it seems only right that this diet, which is changing my life, began on an inauspicious date.

    When I began the diet, it was the least positive that I have ever been about beginning a diet. Usually I was all "RAH RAH RAH, I WILL SUCCEED THIS TIME, I AM DIETER, HEAR ME ROAR!!!" etc etc. This time I started more out of quiet desperation. Something had to change but I had no hope that it would. Indeed, I thought I'd fall off the wagon just like I have every single other time before.

    Yet somehow the wheels have not come off. Despite this being the strictest diet I have ever followed, there have been few episodes of cheating and none that have yet affected my weight loss because they were rare.

    The reason I want to start a weight loss diary now, on the start of my eighth week of the diet, is that I am starting to believe that I can make it stick this time and I think I'd like to record how it feels to weigh less now than at any time for years.

    Because that's where I am right now: I weigh less than at any time this century.

    On Saturday morning I got on my scales -- which will be known from now on as the Scales of Joy, largely because they are set at three to four pounds less than the Scales of Great Strictness at Summer's house -- and they read less than 16 stone for the first time.

    It was only a smidge below 16 stone on the SoJ, but there the number was, glowing like a small glowy thing. A 15.

    And I had to sit down on the bed with my hand over my mouth trying not to cry -- and I'm not a weepy person at all, the reverse in fact, nor was it TotM -- it was just a little bit more of that dawning belief that this really *might* be the time when I can do it. I don't want to jinx myself but I believe it a little more every day.

    I like to hope that in five months time I'll be looking back at the person who almost cried because she was under 16 stone and seeing it as the first stage of something more substantial.

    Also, before you think that I am wetter than a haddock's swimming trunks, I must point out that after that I danced around the bedroom in my bra and pants singing I Don't Feel Like Dancing -- which was *quite* the special look -- so it wasn't all trembly-lipped emoting and woe in Casa Aubergine on Saturday

    Anyway, I would like to thank you all. You won't have realised it but hearing all your stories helped so much, even the ones where you had a tough time sticking to the plan, because you've reminded me that even if you fall off the wagon, there are plenty of hands outstretched to help you climb back on.

    Oh yeah, and after 15 years of between two and eight cans of Diet Coke every single day, I kicked that too. And I got free chocolate with my books from Borders and gave it away.

    I am dieter, hear me roar.

    Woot! :D
     
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  3. flirty40greeneyes

    flirty40greeneyes Busy busy busy!!

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    WOW Aubergine!!! You are doing great and have a wonderful CDC - so ain't no mountain high enough to stop you now!

    Look forward to reading more in your diary as you lose the weight. Good luck!
     
  4. Isis

    Isis Ancient Egypt Nut!

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    FANTASTIC!!!! I love the way you write...:D :D :D
     
  5. DQ

    DQ Queen of the Damned

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    Go girl go!! :cool:
     
  6. Aubergine

    Aubergine Member

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    Thanks very much and I do. I am sure I will be grumpy and itching for pie very soon so I thought it would be nice to document feeling good :D Thanks for the good wishes
     
  7. Aubergine

    Aubergine Member

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    Thank you. I quite enjoyed writing it all down. Probably because it was a good day :D
     
  8. Aubergine

    Aubergine Member

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    Cheers. ;)
     
  9. Summerskye

    Summerskye Gold Member

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    I'm SO proud of you!! I just know that this time really will be the 'last time' for you .. and I'll be with you every step of the way!

    Me and my SGS are looking forward to seeing you on Friday! :)

    Love
     
  10. Aubergine

    Aubergine Member

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    I hope you're right. I fear your scales though, they are not as optimistic as mine ;)

    Thanks for the text btw, it brightened up a day of unutterable ar$e at work.
     
  11. Aubergine

    Aubergine Member

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    thanks. I hope I can.
     
  12. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

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    WOW!!! Aubergine...

    Wonderful post and I think we all cry when we find out that this diet does work and that we are going to lose the weight this time.

    I do also believe in the time being right and for me when I look back I can join up the dots that lead me here.

    Good luck on your weight loss journey and I look forward to reading your diary:)

    Love Mini xxx
     
  13. kazz

    kazz Gold Member

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    Hi Aubergine....when th realisation that you weigh less than you can ever remember hits, its powerful innit?! I've been like that today, had a blip but it made me realise that I am a lower weight than I have been in so long, and that I can probably see this thru to the end too....

    I look forward to reading about the rest of your journey...I bet you will be fab!!
     
  14. Aubergine

    Aubergine Member

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    Fat Girl Logic

    Thanks Mini and Kazz. Some days the diet feels really easy and I love it -- well, not the being unable to have toast or pie, but the way it reduces your choices to the stark and simple fact that if you stick to it you won't fail.

    Other days I feel like I am just waiting for the wheels to come off. Like yesterday when work sucked out my soul and I just wanted to smack people about the head for most of the day.

    Every time I walk past the shops on the way home on days like yesterday I wrap my fist around my keys and it's an effort of will not to dodge in and buy a packet of crisps, two diet cokes, a Turkish Delight and a bag of minstrels. And not the 40p bag, the 80p bag.

    Of course I would never buy the £1.29 bag because that would be greedy. And the Turkish Delight is not for me, obviously, it's for the imaginary man with the gun who lives under my stairs and forces me to buy chocolate, or CDs I can't afford, and tells me that watching The X Factor isn't a complete experience unless you order a pizza and garlic bread while you're doing it.

    I roll my eyes at Fat Girl Logic, which only has a faint resemblance to our Earth logic.

    It is Fat Girl Logic which tells you that if you want rice with your mushroom korma but you also really fancy chips, you should buy one meal with rice and then a second takeaway so that the man delivering the meal thinks that two people are in the house, rather than just thinking that you're a greedy guts who wants chips *and* rice.

    (a) He's not fooled by the two-person thing; (b) He couldn't give a flying $%^& anyway, he's got your £14

    And you think to yourself, "that's way too much food" and then "I'll eat the rest for breakfast and lunch tomorrow".

    Only by 11pm you're watching a movie and thinking "I can't believe I just ordered two takeaways on one night. I am a disgusting person."

    You would think that that would be enough to make you turn over a new leaf and resolve to bin the leftovers but it doesn't work that way. You think: "And since I am a disgusting person, I am going to eat cold mushroom korma while watching Clint Eastwood films because I can sink no lower".

    Some scientists believe that evolution wasn't a smooth linear progression but rather a jolting series of leaps and shifts to a new steady state.

    I think that a lot of overweight people put on more weight that way. We go for days, weeks even, eating healthily until something knocks us off-kilter. One bad week and we start to overeat because that's where the comfort is -- and then you start to think "I have ruined the diet anyway, may as well enjoy myself."

    This is Fat Girl Logic.

    Then when you pull yourself out of the low and realise you have to get back to the healthy eating your new steady state weight is half a stone higher than where you started.

    Maybe the key to the diet is short-circuiting the Fat Girl Logic and learning a new way to think. If you have chocolate, so bloody what? It's a nasty mistake but it's hardly a disaster. Tomorrow you won't have it, you'll stick to the diet, and then you haven't ruined anything.

    I don't know. How do normal people think about food anyway? ;)
     
  15. Summerskye

    Summerskye Gold Member

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    Ah - the £1.29 bag of sweets! They were a standard feature in my car on long journeys - but in my case they were peanut M&Ms rather than minstrels :eek:

    It's true - there is nothing lower than watching Clint Eastwood films ;)

    And, as your CDC, eating chocolate is definitely NOT a case of "so bloody what?" young lady! Just keep in mind my Scales of Great Strictness whenever you're next tempted to be nice to that man who lives under your stairs OK? :rolleyes:

    As for how normal people think about food .. dunno! I've never met anyone who's THAT normal! :)
     
  16. Shimsham

    Shimsham Full Member

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    Hi Aubergine,

    Glad you joined us!
    Not been on-line in a few days so I had a lot to catch u on.

    FREE CHOCOLATE IN BORDERS!! The Booksellers did that to me too - why did these things never happen PRE-CD??!

    Smiled a random grin for you a the though of your SoJ experience (and and extra one for the lingerie dancing - you should speak to Summer if you wanna make a living out of that! ;) ).

    I too am hoping to see a glowing 15 soon but unfortunately I have a long way to go to get back to my lowest weight this century...:(

    Stay away from the stair cupboard and the Clint Eastwood films (no-one need EVER sink THAT low!).

    Be strong,
    Jeanie x
     
  17. Aubergine

    Aubergine Member

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    *cough* Ah yes, the chocolate. It was hypothetical chocolate, which tastes fantastic and has no calories. :p
     
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  19. Aubergine

    Aubergine Member

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    Because they are eeeeeeevil.

    LOL. Eeep no. Not one for dancing with my bits hanging out unless no one is watching.

    You'll get there. We both will.

    ::makes clenched fist of solidarity::

    I might see you for a moment or two on Friday and thanks for the diary encouragement. At least it's keeping me amused :)
     
  20. Shimsham

    Shimsham Full Member

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    And I hear that laughing burns more calories that gritting your teeth as you walk past the newsagents!
     
  21. Dom1979

    Dom1979 Gold Member

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    Right, have to post on here, because I've been reading it, and it's been making me laugh, and if I actually post on here, it makes me feel like less of an insane stalker.

    Errrrrrr, hasn't worked. Now I feel like an insane stalker, who interupts other people's conversations.

    Errrr, I'm going now. Bye!
     
  22. Aubergine

    Aubergine Member

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    No, no, come back! You can't be an insane stalker on the internet just because the internet turns us all into insane stalkers. Besides, I am happy if anyone posts here. The more the merrier.

    Often when I post on the internet it feels like it's the sound of one hand doing, well, something a bit unsavoury that gentlemen often get up to in the presence of glossy magazines. ;) Whereas if other people join in it's more like...

    Okay, I am going to stop that metaphor right there. :eek: :D
     
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