Meetings Am I thick ?

[megsmum]

Hi

This is going to sound really bad, I just cannot get the hang of what my councellor is talking about in the meetings. We are following the book and talking about ego states you know the critical parent and the adapted child ect. It is all going over my head and means nothing to me. I am also getting concerned that my weight problem is being blamed to much on my mother. I left home 26 years ago and have been responsible for feeding myself all that time.

Will it become clearer as we progress we have just done week 4. For our homework we had to fill in a chart I had no idea at all and have guessed so it looks like I have done it.

I just know i am not to eat and in the future I am not to eat the rubbish I have done in the past or I will put the weight back on. This has nothing to do with how I was raised.

Sorry having a little rant here. I have just been walking the dogs and thinking about it as I am at class tonight and really have no idea about what we did last week Am I really this thick:cry:

Must add I am not thinking about giving up or anything like that

 

[KD]

I just know i am not to eat and in the future I am not to eat the rubbish I have done in the past or I will put the weight back on. This has nothing to do with how I was raised.

:giggle:

I too can't blame my Mum for my weight issues. Though she was very overweight, we ate relatively healthily. My Mum loved fruit and veg and couldn't understand why I didn't reach into the fruit bowl when I was hungry.

I can't blame her for the fact that I ate in secret either. Can't say I followed her example as it has only been recently that I've realised that she must have. I was doing it long before that occured to me Neither can I blame a troubled childhood.

But. Keep your mind open and question yourself. It may not been because of the way you were raised, but there was some reason that you might come to later.

You put rubbish into yourself for a reason, and no, it is highly unlikely that it was just because you enjoyed it. You may think so now, but I really believe that something else was going on there.

Even slim people can like their food, but don't over indulge.

So, as I say, just keep an open mind.

If you believe that losing weight and maintaining is as simple as just not eating rubbish again, you might get a few surprises along the way

Hope you find your answers,

 

[icemoose]

If you believe that losing weight and maintaining is as simple as just not eating rubbish again, you might get a few surprises along the way

True true!

Anyway if you aren't "getting" the sessions then why not let your LL counsellor know, at the end of the day you are paying for those sessions and need the rapport there to be able to learn from it.

I am sure if your let him/her know then they can help you more than they are now.

Mike

 

[megsmum]

But. Keep your mind open and question yourself. It may not been because of the way you were raised, but there was some reason that you might come to later.

You put rubbish into yourself for a reason, and no, it is highly unlikely that it was just because you enjoyed it. You may think so now, but I really believe that something else was going on there.

Even slim people can like their food, but don't over indulge.

So, as I say, just keep an open mind.

If you believe that losing weight and maintaining is as simple as just not eating rubbish again, you might get a few surprises along the way

Hope you find your answers,[/quote]

Thanks I can see were you are coming from. I am keeping a open mind I want to stop the bad habits I have got in to over the years. I can blame my mum for giving me large portions and cooking everything in the frying pan and chip pan but I dont even own a chip pan now. My sister was raised by the same parents and she doesnt have a weight problem. If I thought losing weight and maintaining was simple I wouldnt be the size I am now. Hence why I am going to LL to learn how to do it. How to get out of my bad habits and maintane a healthy life. I know what I should and shouldnt be eating it is just sticking to it that I cant do.

I think I am thick lol I just cant get into my head the ego states. I am the same with numbers it is almost like a dyslexic thing. See my spelling is awfull to.

I will have a word with the councellor if it doesnt get any clearer

 

[Helen]

It will become clearer to you. At the end of foundation I still didn't "get it" to a point where I asked if I could do foundation again instead of going into developers. Now (week 30 I think) there is a lot that I do get. I will never be as good at explaining or putting it into words as Mrs L and some of the others on here but I am still having lightbulb moments and am still suddenly finding I am "getting" something I didn't before. I think this will continue long after the LL meetings are over.

I know what you mean about not being able to blame your mother for the last 26 years or so. I left home about 19 years ago and most of my weight has gone on since then however I think you will find a few things along the way that suddenly make you think "ah ha". Neither of my brothers have a weight problem but it seems connected (to me anyway) to personality types as well as upbringing, self esteem issues etc

If you are stuck with an exercise then do ask your LLC. Great for giving it a go and she can see that you have tried but if you don't "get it" then its not going to work for you and you do need to understand what you are doing.

Sorry if this is rambling but I have a really bad headache and am struggling to concentrate. Good luck!

 

[megsmum]

Hi

I said to my councellor tonight I couldnt get my head around the ego states and had a real problem doing the chart at the weekend. We went through it and i had actually got it spot on. Maybe not how she had planned it but she said it was ok and I was thinking in the right way.We did something else tonight and I am a bit confused but I will have a look in my book and see if I can suss it.

 

[SandraEG]

Two things:

1. Maybe you are getting too caught up in the terminology? Especially if you think your LLC said you had the concept of the ego states right. We use counselling terms in the sessions and it might be you just need to put the terms to one side initially.

2. We all have personal responsibility for our actions but, like karrion said, it's unlikely that you overate simply because you liked the taste. It's not trying to apportion blame but the sessions are trying to see if there was any unhappiness or uneasiness in your childhood that caused you to seek comfort in food. It may have nothing to do with parents but could have been problems at school or socially or whatever.

The key to LL is trying to find out the 'why' so you change your behaviour. It might have nothing to do with your parents but hopefully through the exercises you will find out your own reasons. Are you doing thought records - or has that not yet come up (can't remember which week they are introduced)? They should help identify what is going on in your head.