Metabolism/Bulimia LL questions - help!

[gaijingirl]

I went to the initial LL meeting at the weekend and have an appt with the doctor tomorrow morning.

It turns out I'm 17 stone 10... ( ) so I'm clearly eligible.

I asked him loads of questions but when I got out my bloke asked me this.

Does it not mess with your metabolism? (although frankly since my metabolism is shot completely to bits - it can't get any worse!)

And one question I didn't really want to ask at that point - because I'm afraid they'll stop me doing it.

I'm bulimic - and it's really that which has got me to this point tbh (although clearly I'm not even a very successful bulimic!). Obviously I want to lose weight, but I am also about to embark on counselling for my bulimia. I am worried that even if the doctor doesn't mind me doing LL (and frankly they haven't really raised an eyebrow or helped at all with the bulimia) - is it something I should keep quiet once on LL during the counselling sessions. Is it one of the things that would mean they won't let you do it? I don't want to ask the counsellor I saw on Sat in case he won't let me do it and I'm getting most desperate now. I only ended up here because someone on a weight loss surgery board spoke about LL - I had been contemplating a lap band tbh.

Any help or advice very gratefully received.

By the way - I've been very much enjoying some of your blogs and posts - Chicken on a mission in particular!

 

[Karen1972]

Hi there,

Well the important thing after doing LL is to stick to the management program when you get to goal. This lasts for 12 weeks and re-introduces different food groups week by week. The objective is to bring your metabolism back to its base line. So as long as you stick with all levels of the program you will be fine. As with all diets, you have to view future eating with a completely different mindset, if you go back to your old ways then obviously the weight will pile back on.

I have to say that LL is the best diet i have ever done! The group counselling sessions are fantastic and you will meet some great people who will become great friends to you. People in these groups talk about lots of issues in their life (some far worse than bullemia). You won't be judged by the counsellor or any of your peers as we all have our own issues otherwise we wouldn't have gotten obese in the first place!!

I also considered gastric band surgery before knowing about LL, and I'm so glad i found this option instead!

Good luck, you are about to embark on an amazing journey...

 

[d4n13773]

Most of the people who are on VLCD have an issue with binge eating and part of the therapy is to help you identify your triggers and emotional issues surrounding food.

Obviously I don't know you or your relationship with food or binging and purging cycles. As you say you're not a "successful bulimic" does that mean your good at the binging, but not at the purging?

I assume that if your main issue was binge eating you'll be fine on a VLCD, however if you have a strong urge to vomit, or take laxatives or anything else harmful it would be very dangerous for you to start anything like LL or CD.

I am not an expert on eating disorders or even diets, but I'm doing Cambridge in order to reset my relationship with food. I'm using the time on Sole Source to think about why I want to eat and what triggers my hunger and what else I can do at those time to make me feel better. I have found it very useful to know that I am getting properly nourished and do not need to asses for myself when to stop.

I would say that you need to be 100% honest with yourself and during the therapy sessions to actually solve and understand your issues, otherwise you'll go straight back to your old ways in the end.

I hope you get something sorted, Big hugs & good luck.

Dani

 

[westhills]

This is just my personal opinion. 1./ I think you should be honest with your Lighter Life Counsellor about your bulimia. 2./ Induced vomiting and/or taking laxatives whilst on a VLCD is DANGEROUS. Your body needs ALL the nourishment supplied by a VLCD to be healthy. 3./ I think it would be wrong to try and "split" your counselling into "bullimia" and "lighter life" . I think you should either do Lighter Life, with the knowledge of your Counsellor, and discuss all issues either with him, or in the group OR do the bullimia counselling before starting LL.
I have experience of nursing severe bulimics is a hospital setting.
Whaever you decide, we'll be here to support you.
Ann x

 

[HorseyCarrie]

Well I am bulimic, have attempted suicide in the past 6 months, regularly self-harmed until recently when I got my meds right, been on and off a psychiatric ward and have a cpn and social worker, and I am a complete mess. My doctor said yes because I am stronger now (I have been bulimi since I was 12, so 11 years). If mine says yes, so will yours. The CBT will help your bulimia.

 

[gaijingirl]

When I say I'm an unsuccessful bulimic I mean that despite all the bingeing and purging I am still very fat!

What I am hoping for is that by abstaining - or removing the choice element of food from my life that I will be able to break old habits - both in terms of my binge eating and consequently my purging.

I feel that if I am able to stick to the packs I would be unlikely to make myself sick - when I have a good day I can eat "normally" without being sick. I recently spent two weeks on holiday eating very normally - when I was hungry, until I was full without obsessing over every mouthful and only made myself sick a few times (as opposed to several times a day at my worst). Since coming home (a few weeks ago) I am falling back into old habits. I want to break the cycle and I want to get well.

The more likely scenario is that I would eat the packs and then have a massive binge and then make myself sick in order to rid myself of the "bad thing" that I have done.

From what I understand of LL the idea is to remove the eating element from our lives so that we can address our relationships with food and the reasons why we abuse that relationship. This is something that I dearly need to do. I strongly suspect that for me (as with many) it is to do with low self esteem.

I have been very encouraged by people who have found it a relief to have the element of choice taken away from them - allowing them not only to lose weight but also to work on their relationship with and attitudes towards food.

I am a little at the end of my tether here. I cannot bear to be this size any longer. I am naturally a very sporty, outgoing person and I find myself either not being able to do the things I love, or very unwilling to for shame - I'm sure loads of people can identify with me on this.

At worst I feel that I should at least give it a go. I will be seeing the doctor tomorrow to ask for her go-ahead. I think you are right that I should be honest with the counsellor. I worry in case he will not understand. I know this will seem very wrong, but part of me worries because not everyone can understand the bulimia thing and will often shy away from having anything to do with it.

The upside is that I have an extremely supportive partner who I have recently come clean with as regards the bulimia (after 5 years together!) who I feel I can be open and honest with about what I am doing and who would be the first to put a stop to anything he felt was putting me in danger.

*sigh*

I just want to get better and be able to have a normal food relationship rather than the tortuous existence around food that I currently have.

ETA: Westhills your point about not splitting the counselling into bulimia and lighter life is interesting. Frankly I would prefer not to - if only because I am going back to uni as a mature student this week and trying to pay off my mortgage - so I don't see how I'll afford it. But also, in my mind any counselling I get through LL I would hope would address the same issues that I feel cause me to be bulimic - my bulimia is part and parcel of my weight problem as far as I'm concerned.

 

[chicken on a mission]

There is no pressure on you to discuss matters in group that you don't want to do so should you decide to go ahead with LL then the choice is your about how much you actually reveal.

Once again westhills offers excellent advice. It is only by being upfront with your counsellor that you will be able to get the most from his/her so she can tailor the advice you get to your requirements.

Not only that but you have to sign the medical declaration and you doctor does too.

A lot of what the counselling raised for me wasn't actually to do with with my weight - well it was but only in so much as my weight went on as a symptom of the other issues in my personality.

Have a chat with your doctor and your potential counsellor and trust in them

 

[gaijingirl]

I am very happy to discuss the bulimia with whomever (apart from all my friends/family etc etc... ) - certainly in as much as a closed group like this.

What I am worried about is if I tell the counsellor before I start.. will he prevent me from joining a group? Does LL frown upon us bulimics?

 

[HorseyCarrie]

This is what I am worried about because, although my doctor seems happy for me to give it at least a try, she has written on the form that I am a severe depressive, a severe bulimic and a prolific self-harmer. These don't come up on the contraindicators list, but I am really worried what Ali will say tomorrow.

 

[gaijingirl]

Gosh... you're very brave to be giving this a go though. I hope that you do get the go ahead and it works out for you. With the illnesses you describe I imagine it can be very difficult to go for something like this. Do let me know what your counsellor says tomorrow.

What I have noticed over the years with my weight issues is that I share them with many many people and frankly, I've made a great number of friends from the various groups/diets and things I've tried who will be friends for life - a skewed way of putting a positive spin on things - but you've got to look for the silver lining eh?

 

[i'lldoit]

This is what I am worried about because, although my doctor seems happy for me to give it at least a try, she has written on the form that I am a severe depressive, a severe bulimic and a prolific self-harmer. These don't come up on the contraindicators list, but I am really worried what Ali will say tomorrow.

Hi Carrrie why dont you phone Ali and ask her before you go to LL then if she does say no you will know before you go?
Are you still going?
Im also sorry you have had these problems in your life but you have found a fab board here and Im sure you'll make some great friends
((hugs)) xxc

 

[gaijingirl]

I went to see my GP this morning and she was very supportive of the Lighter Life thing. She had another patient who did it with great results. She said she'd heard that the counselling and CBT aspect of it was very good so she's happy to sign my referral form.

She also took my blood pressure - I have something called white coat hypertension which means I get SO anxious about having my BP taken I have to wear a special machine for 24 hours which takes my BP at random times to try and get an accurate reading. However, she was so nice that I was quite relaxed and my BP was ok!!! Also I have been swimming 1k a day for many months now and I cycle everywhere (no car) - so I think this has helped too.

I also enquired about getting a gym referral for cheap gym membership... but....I'm too flipping healthy!! Who'da thunk it!?!?! Apparently you used to just need to have ONE thing wrong with you (ie obesity). But now you need to have THREE things wrong with you. I have to say, I'm quite pleased to be too healthy for something! ))

I just have to hope now that she fills the form in and sends it back to my counsellor quickly as apparently there's a group starting next Tuesday that I would really like to join if possible. I saw a Japanese friend last night who I last saw in 2000 (actually on the Trans-Siberian train - we shared a carriage for 7 days!). She didn't recognise me when we met - why would she, I'm 7 stone heavier... She won't be back probably till next year - I'd like it if she didn't recognise me again... but for quite the opposite reason.