Moonwatcher's (Final) Diary

[moonwatcher]

WI this morning and STS.

I won't lie - I am disappointed not to show even a small loss. Well my gut reaction is disappointed, my common sense is saying that I had a huge loss last week, so it's not totally unexpected, I always have a STS on week 2 or 3 of every diet I have been on, and all the rest of those things! I'm still disappointed though. It's these weeks where you find yourself thinking about all the times you made the decision to not have something, and can't help but think 'Why do I bother?' - not had the enjoyment of the food and not had a loss either! Fortunately, my brain has at least found its way back to the frame of mind where I can accept that the options are keep going or give up and gain, and the second one isn't really an option. So it's on with week three and hope the scales make up for it next week. Will report in with food later - am just about to eat!

 

[Emmaline]

That's such a shame MW.. I'm sure things will be better next week so try to stay strong and don't undo all that hard work...I know how it feels!
Ain't life a beetch sometimes..

 

[ladyfelsham]

Oh hun we all know exactly how you feel, we really do! Of course it's a disappointment, but like you say, you always have a big week one loss and then things settle down a bit - so week three will be fab for you!

Give up and gain is definitely not an option xxx

 

[moonwatcher]

That's such a shame MW.. I'm sure things will be better next week so try to stay strong and don't undo all that hard work...I know how it feels!
Ain't life a beetch sometimes..

Oh hun we all know exactly how you feel, we really do! Of course it's a disappointment, but like you say, you always have a big week one loss and then things settle down a bit - so week three will be fab for you!

Give up and gain is definitely not an option xxx

Thanks Em and Susie. That's one of the things I love about this site - people on here really do understand how you feel. Everyone I know in the 'real world' who does SW, (or WW, or indeed any other diet) fall into the 'lose every week, even after two takeaways and a box of chocolates' category! Much as they may try, I don't think they can really understand the feeling when you have a week like this!

 

[Emmaline]

Totally agree with you there MW..and it's even more sickening when they are like bean poles!!

 

[moonwatcher]

Wednesday 11th March

Very tired today - Wednesdays are always a very busy day.

Breakfast: GF cereal, s/s milk and xylitol sweetener

Lunch: Couscous with lemon juice, mint, chilli and garlic flakes, chopped jalapeños, gherkins, olives, tomatoes, one sun dried tomato, red pepper, ham, chopped boiled egg, teaspoon mango pickle, tbspn l/f mayo, an apple, plums

Dinner: Stir fry veg with tofu, (oven roasted - the only way to cook tofu, IMO**) topped with prawns dry fried in dried scotch bonnet chilli flakes, a drizzle of chipotle sauce and a tbspn of 0% creme fraiche, two clementines

Drinks: One Earl Grey tea with milk from HEA, one Maxwell House Latte sachet, one coffee with cream, water, NAS squash

Snacks: Mango cubes, one square Lindt dark salted caramel chocolate

HEA: s/s milk
HEB: GF cereal
Syns: 15

**(In case anyone is interested - how I make oven roast tofu: chop tofu into cubes, marinade overnight in soy sauce, balsamic vinegar, spices - Thai 7 spice mix this time, but definitely always include ginger and garlic - add some lemon or lime juice. The next day roast in oven on high setting, drizzling some marinade over it regularly, until the tofu is a little charred around the edges, firm and a bit chewy. If you've ever stir fried it and eaten it still squidgy (yuk!) try it this way - you'll be pleasantly surprised)

 

[moonwatcher]

Totally agree with you there MW..and it's even more sickening when they are like bean poles!!

I know Em, I don't even join in the conversations now, as they pinch their non existent flab and worry about how 'huge' they are! Envious, me, never! I suppose you have to give them credit for doing something about it quickly though, before it gets to be a big problem.

 

[ladyfelsham]

How was your day, hun?

 

[moonwatcher]

How was your day, hun?

Hi Susie, food-wise day was OK thanks, but otherwise a crapola day of the highest order!

Member of our Leadership team with people skills of a menopausal mosquito has been on the warpath, kids have been absolutely exhausting, we're all feeling totally unappreciated, despite the fact that our statistics for our pupils' achievements are phenomenally brilliant (think 100% success rate compared to national averages around 30-40%) - not a single thank you for that from the powers that be... I could go on and on, but I won't bore you.

Food for today:

Breakfast: GF cereal and s/s milk with xylitol sweetener

Lunch: Roast turkey with potatoes, carrots, peas, gravy, muller toffee yogurt

Dinner: Large steak, loads of black pepper on it, peas, mushrooms, jacket potato with tbspn salad cream, an apple, plums

'Snack': one square of Lindt caramel sea salt choc,

Drinks: one tea with splash of milk from HEA, water, NAS squash and energy drink, one Maxwell House Latte sachet

HEA: Milk
HEB: GF cereal
Syns: 15

God only knows how I have managed to stay on plan today. If I wasn't so absolutely p***** off I'd be proud of myself!

 

[moonwatcher]

So glad it is Friday, although I'm not sure two days is enough to recover from the last week.

Not a brilliant day today - gave into the small bag of Thornton's chocs! Have totalled it all up and it could have been a lot worse I suppose.

Breakfast : GF cereal, s/s milk (synned) and xylitol sweetener

Lunch: 4 GF sweet chilli cracker thins, 4 Laughing Cow Blue Light triangles, pickled jalapeno chillies, an apple, two plums

Snack while cooking stir fry: Couple of ham slices

Dinner - Chicken and prawn stir fry with black bean sauce. This was a complete disappointment - the sauce was so, so salty. I left at least half of it and followed it up with two clementines, but the combo of a grotty week and a pretty awful meal was the last straw...

Snacks: 5 Thonrton's chocs, bowl of greek yogurt

Drinks: One Earl Grey tea with milk, one coffee and cream, water, NAS squash, Maxwell House Latte sachet

HEA: Cheese triangles
HEB: GF cracker thins
Syns: 31.5 (15 of those were the chocs)

 

[ladyfelsham]

Member of our Leadership team with people skills of a menopausal mosquito has been on the warpath...despite the fact that our statistics for our pupils' achievements are phenomenally brilliant (think 100% success rate compared to national averages around 30-40%)

Oh lordie I did laugh at that description - I have one of those too - he can really turn my day blue at a moment's notice!

gave into the small bag of Thornton's chocs! Have totalled it all up and it could have been a lot worse I suppose... the combo of a grotty week and a pretty awful meal was the last straw...

Don't blame you in the least hun - and i think a little over synning is good for us, bet you have a huge loss this week! xxx

 

[moonwatcher]

Oh lordie I did laugh at that description - I have one of those too - he can really turn my day blue at a moment's notice!



Don't blame you in the least hun - and i think a little over synning is good for us, bet you have a huge loss this week! xxx

It was the most polite description I could think of at the time Susie. It is pretty accurate though!

I do hope you're right, although a sneaky peek on the scales this morning (I know, I know!) shows me still the same. I need to get moving more, but I am just so exhausted at the moment. I had a long chat with my sister today about the job situation, which helped me get my thoughts a bit more in order. At the moment I am leaning very heavily towards looking for something else with less stress. The positives used to always outweigh the negatives, but lately that has swung the other way. Food today was practically non existent until about 5.00pm...

Breakfast: One cup of Earl grey tea with a splash of milk and one coffee with cream.

Went out to get my hair coloured and trimmed, then stopped off at my sister's for a chat and one cup of coffee with a splash of milk

Got home, OH had van loaded up with another load of garden rubbish for the dump, so we went there and then popped into Iceland for some SW sausages, and picked up a packet of the meatballs to try too. By the time we got home it was around 5.00, so whilst the sausages were cooking I snacked on some cooked beef and ham, and a cube of cheddar.

Dinner: 3 SW sausages, two rolls and a fried onion = hot dogs, with LF mayo, tomato ketchup, mustard. I left half a roll because it all just seemed too much like junk food now!

Snacks after hot dogs: clementines and plums

Other drinks and snacks: Earl Grey and Vanilla chai teas with milk, one Malteaster bunny, water, NAS squash and sparkling flavoured waters. I am drinking loads - feel the need to flush the hot dogs out of my system!

HEA: Half as cheese and half as milk in tea and coffees
HEBS: Bread
Syns: 14.5

 

[Emmaline]

Funnily enough MW I snacked on some ham today.. usually I dip into the tin of digestives but really working hard on keeping carbs as low as poss... and I must say ham was a very nice stand in.. I'll have to do that more often.

Looks like a busy day there and a pretty good one as well.

 

[ladyfelsham]

I had a long chat with my sister today about the job situation... At the moment I am leaning very heavily towards looking for something else with less stress. The positives used to always outweigh the negatives, but lately that has swung the other way. .

I am exactly the same hun. All my life I've worked my way up the career ladder, getting more and more responsibility as i went - but I am so happy to be heading down the ladder in the other direction now. Who needs the stress, the hassle of it all! I feel sick most mornings when getting ready for work, wondering what mood the boss will be in, and I can't wait to be shot of him - life shouldn't be lived like this.

Any thoughts on what else you might like to do?

Lovely food day - those sossies go down a treat, don't they?

 

[moonwatcher]

I am exactly the same hun. All my life I've worked my way up the career ladder, getting more and more responsibility as i went - but I am so happy to be heading down the ladder in the other direction now. Who needs the stress, the hassle of it all! I feel sick most mornings when getting ready for work, wondering what mood the boss will be in, and I can't wait to be shot of him - life shouldn't be lived like this.

Any thoughts on what else you might like to do?

Lovely food day - those sossies go down a treat, don't they?

I'd really like to retire now, but unfortunately that's not an option! At the moment I want something simple but interesting, where I am able to totally leave it behind the second I step out the door on the way home. By mid-day Sunday I start to get in a bad mood about the idea of work tomorrow, and I am literally counting down the days to every holiday/half term as soon as one term or half term starts. I'm increasingly disillusioned about so many things. You're right - life should be a joy. I want to look forward to the weekends as an enjoyable break, not to feel depressed about the fact it is 'only' two days long and I won't have time to recover from the week.

 

[moonwatcher]

Sunday 15th March

Not a brilliant day of food. We went out to a local farm shop and stopped for something to eat:

Brunch: bacon, egg, two sausages, beans, mushrooms, tomato, half a hash brown - trimmed the fat off the bacon, the mushrooms were the tinned ones in brine, so hopefully no fat used to cook them, but I don't really know how to syn the fat used for cooking - had to take a guess, a few bites of a chocolate and ginger cake

At home later: 16 almonds, egg and LF soft cheese microwaved egg custard with cinnamon, lemon juice and sweetener, plums

Drinks: water, NAS squash and flavoured sparkling water, one tea, one coffee with cream

HEA: LF soft cheese
HEB: Almonds
Syns: somewhere between 23 - 30 I suppose, depending on how they cooked the brunch

That's two days this week with high syns. I'm hoping that the fact I didn't have very much else today, and that I have left quite a bit of my evening meal for the last two nights, will help to offset the damage a bit. Two days left until weigh in and I'm planning to stick to plan, if I use all my syns then fine, if I don't then that's ok too!

 

[ladyfelsham]

I'd really like to retire now, but unfortunately that's not an option!

That was my whole reason for looking at Italy - but will be happy if i can find a job that isn't too demanding, as you say, and that maybe I can go part time in

Food sounds lovely (mmm that cake!), and I'm sure you'll have a loss this week x

 

[moonwatcher]

I'm thinking I could go down to 4 days a week. Although I would miss the long summer holidays, if you take off the statutory holiday allowance, and the fact that all the bank holidays are included in our school holidays, I would actually be working less days per year in total, and be less stressed out. At the moment it's not doing me any good at all, and it is making me feel far more down about everything, including my weight.

 

[moonwatcher]

Will be looking for some recipes next week to use my farm shop purchases of Lavender syrup and Pomegranate syrup. Also picked up some pretty tasty looking chicken breasts with pancetta, some with Spanish spices, and some Blacksticks Blue cheese.

 

[moonwatcher]

Monday 16th March

Breakfast: GF cereal, milk, (synned, as HEA used for cheese triangles at lunchtime) xylitol sweetener

Lunch: GF Blue cheese crackers, 4 Laughing Cow Blue light triangles, cherry toms, cheese board pickle, apple, clementines

Dinner: Stuffed flat mushrooms (mushrooms stalks, chorizo, thyme, black olives, one ounce cheddar) herby ratatouille with onions, courgettes, aubergines, tomatoes and lots and lots of garlic, Onken mango, papaya and passionfruit yogurt, plums

Snacks: Ham and beef

Drinks: Vanilla chai tea with milk, NAS squash and flavoured sparkling water, Maxwell House Latte sachet, water

HEA: Cheese triangles
HEBs: GF crackers, GF cereal
Syns: 14.5