mums who moans about your weight problem but then appear jealous of success.

[broxi]

I know my mum loves me but she is very strange about my weight. She always goes on about me being too fat but when I finally start to lose weight she appears to get jealous and is a bit *****y. It;s very strange but funnily enough I have a few friends who says their mums are the same. I find it very hurtful. I'm 50 and she has been like this for years! Does anyone else share this experience?

 

[Jenna88]

About a year before I started SW my mum lost 2stone and was smaller than me. I'm not going to lie, she drove me crazy. All she talked about was food and losing weight. It was so tedious, I also assume apart of me was jealous but it was also due to the fact she seemed to have no other focus.

A year and a half later and the tables have turned, I've lost the weight, she's put it on. She makes comments to me telling me I dont need to lose anymore and that I'm obsessed etc etc. Initially I put it down to jealousy (I'm pretty sure it's common between mothers and daughters) but the more I think of it the more I begin to wonder is it because I've become so boring and paranoid about weight/food. It was horrific to listen to when she lost it and now I worry I'm the same.

 

[ANiceBitOfDust]

your mother sounds mighty like mine Jezzi . I took the latter option after many years of emotional abuse - well and physical but it was the emotional that was most damaging.

 

[donna88]

My mum was like that, although I don't think it was jealousy I think she did genuanly worry about me. I also don't think people realise how hurtful it can be when they tell you not to loose more weight, as they think they're complimenting you by saying you look nice how you are. My mum has stopped now as she's had it herself, people have started really getting on at her about her weight. I would have thought I'd think at least she see's how it feels, but I do feel sorry for her. She's a marathon runner so she is tiny, but that's because she does so much exercise, she does eat a lot of high cal things so its not like she starves herself.

 

[Fairymary]

My mother is a size 6 petitte. She wont tell me to my face that I have gained weight or lost it but when we meet, she looks me up and down and I can tell what she is thinking. So I have stopped discussing weight/diet/exercise with her. Just like Jezzi, I think its a topic best avoided with my mum. She is very controlling with food and show all the classic signs of it. She eats like a bird herself but insists on feeding everyone else including my father with sweets/cake/biscuits etc. and as a result he is quite obese.
Having said all that at 74 she finds it impossible to find clothes to fit her as she is just too thin for her age.