my boyfriends father will not let us get married as i am fatter than my boyfriend

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by hatesfatherinlaw, 17 February 2010 Social URL.

  1. hatesfatherinlaw

    hatesfatherinlaw Member

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    i am a size 18 25 yr old girl- not bad looking- considered stunning by most- my partner and i have been together for 3 years now, we ahve told are parnets of our intentions for there blessing, however my father in law without seeing me refuses to meet me becuase he has been told by his daughter i am a 'big gal'

    this has hurt me very badly, though i was never happy with my body image for him to say this has broken me, i cant feel sorry for myself and want to do some thing about this -

    i haev lost two and half stones last year however struggling to lose anymore- i am going on cd fro today but know i will struggle... please help...
     
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  3. coley144

    coley144 Creating my life

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    Two and a half stone is great! Well done.

    Your father in law sounds like an idiot to me. I hope that you lose - and that you do it for you not for him. You are beautiful whatever weight you are.
     
  4. Happy Holidays

    Happy Holidays Gold Member

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    Lose weight only if you want to, at the end of the day it's how you feel about yourself. If FiL refuses to meet you IMO you're not missing out.
     
  5. kyliet

    kyliet Full Member

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    Hi hun, I would tell him that he is not invited to your wedding! If you are happy with how you look then why should some person who you have yet to meet cast judgement on you!

    Do this for you, any you alone! I have tried to lose weight for others in the past and it dont work! You just binge eat and gain more weight as you resent those who want you to lose weight!! and you want to punish them (the voice of experience speaks)!!

    CD is wonderful if you do it 100% !! You'll see wonderful results!! Good Luck xxx
     
  6. hatesfatherinlaw

    hatesfatherinlaw Member

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    right day one and i need to have will power- so hungry though x
     
  7. Scottishmum

    Scottishmum Cambridge Consultant

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    You also don't need your father in laws permission, so he can't "not let" you get married. If your fiance loves you the way you are then its got bugger all to do with his dad and he should be telling him that.

    Lose weight for you, for feeling fab in your wedding dress and for your health if nothing else. Good Luck!
     
  8. scooterchick

    scooterchick She's me in a few months

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    Agree with all above.

    What's your bf saying about this?

    One thing I've learned in this life is that you can't control what other people say and do, what you can do is control your actions and reactions. Don't get upset about others, it's not worth it. If your fil won't be at the wedding then it's his loss, his decision, don't let it affect you. And don't be manipulated into anything. If your bf takes his father's side then tell him to get lost too and find someone worthy of you.
     
  9. Katycakes

    Katycakes Stubborn tortoise

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    Scooterchick said it all... this guy can't judge you, he has never even met you... and he REALLY can't stop you from marrying. Your boyfriend needs to stick up for you here, so let him know how hurt you are by all this... the sister's stirring and the Fil's attitude. Something's gotta change, and I am not talking about you!

    Hope CD day one is going well... you CAN do it hun, but do it for YOU.

    xxx
     
  10. Chlo

    Chlo Silver Member

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    How rude, I really can't believe there are people out there who are that rude, and to be honest if someone was that rude to me that would be it. Who needs to be nice to their father in law anyway.
     
  11. Gaelic Faery

    Gaelic Faery Cambridge Counsellor

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    Wow that's unbelievably rude! He hasn't even met you. Lose the weight for yourself and don't mind him at all
     
  12. Stinkybreath

    Stinkybreath Size 14 here i come!

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    I would love to know what your bf thinks about it all? His father sounds like a real charmer... NOT! As said above it's none of his business, do you need his permission to get married?
    How ridiculous to judge someone because of their size, it doesn't sound like bf sister helps much either.
    IF it is possible for you to get married without his blessing then sod him, i hope your bf has told his dad how bang out of order he is being towards the woman he loves! Grrr some men are idiots!
     
  13. sumayyah

    sumayyah please try again

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    well what a special guy you FIL sounds like!
    if you want to lose weight hun then great do it for you hun and you can be sure everyone here will be behind you helping push you on
    i hope your boyfriend is supportive hun, a supportive other half on this diet is a must, couldnt do it if my OH was against it

    hope today is going well for you, just distract yourself for the first week and before you know it you will be at your first weigh in
     
  14. fed-up-and-fat

    fed-up-and-fat hoping for a good loss

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    I am sorry, but your FIL sounds a nasty piece of work. What does your BF think of his comment?

    How dare he prejudge you when he hasn't even me you. How arrogant is that? Sounds a real charmer....NOT

    Hope day 1 of CD is going alright for you. It isn't an easy diet, but the results are fantastic. I really hope you are losing weight for you hun.

    As for saying you can't marry him, well yu can do what you darn well like, you are old enough.

    hugs hun x
     
  15. Maheen

    Maheen Full Member

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    I'm sorry you have to face such prejudice. But can't you marry wthout hs approval?
     
  16. duncan

    duncan Silver Member

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    you do the diet for you not for anyone else, personally id tell him to politely (not) get stuffed, how rude and arrogant is that man, arrrgggghhh some people
     
  17. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    Weird :confused: Who told him (since he hasn't met you)? And if he has said this, rather than just someone reporting that back to you, maybe 'tweaked', do you know what his real reasons are, because I bet there is more to this than meets the eye.
     
  18. maggief2

    maggief2 Loves To Chat

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    i agree with everyone about you fil you just need to ignore him its his loss if he doesnt want to be at your wedding as everyone said you dont need his approval.
    Magz x
     
  19. hatesfatherinlaw

    hatesfatherinlaw Member

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    thanks guys its been a while since i replied to this, well guess what? im on week four of ss on cambridge diet, i more determined than ever to do this, im feeeling happy,

    progress on the FIL situation, boyfreind has told father he will marry me with or without him - not the ideal situation but unfortunatly that is the only way....

    my stats so far

    started june 2008 @ 18 stone 4lbs
    restarted june @ 17.4lbs
    restarted febuary 2010 16. 5lbs on pre diet for 3 weeks

    week 1 - 15.9 stones
    week 2 - 15.4
    week 3 - istanbul hols + 2lbs = 15.6
    week 4 ss real start 14.12
    week 5 - 14.7
    week 6 - 14.2
    week 7 13.11

    total loss 4 and half stones -

    im going to be completeing race for life on the 2nd of june and therefore im running 3 times a week and swimming twice a week...... i feel great and hope to lose another 3 stones on ss before i move to ss+

    iv got a size 16 dress on today and its way too big for me!! wohooo
     
  20. hatesfatherinlaw

    hatesfatherinlaw Member

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    i just replied, buts its cleared :(
     
  21. IreneH

    IreneH Gold Member

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    Congratulations you are doing great

    Irene xx
     
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