lucielou
Full Member
Hey guys! I have been lingering around here and commenting randomly for the last few days and I think it is time now to start a diary of my own!
So my names Lucie, I'm a 20 year old uni student and I've struggled with my weight for seven years. Up until my teenage years I had never even thought about my weight, I was a dancer and not even close to being overweight. But at 13, my dad (who I was extremely close to) passed away very suddenly and my world stopped there and then. I stopped dancing and began to comfort eat a lot, and remember being 12 and a half stone when I was 15. I went on my first diet and got down to 10 stone but gained the weight back plus a lot more. I go through periods of dieting and will lose quite a bit of weight, but in the end I always gain it back with an extra few pounds on top. I used to be so bubbly and confident but now I feel so gross that I am making excuses not to meet my friends because I don't want them to see how much weight I have put on. It has come to the stage now where I have gone into the obese category and I don't want my health to suffer. I also love fashion and most of my nice clothes are gone too small for me and I need to get back into them as I have been wearing most tracksuit bottoms and jumpers all summer!
I was in Spain for some of July and August and have never felt so self-conscious. My 2 cousins were with me and they are both really thin, and I felt horrible beside them. I never lay out in a bikini for the whole two weeks.. and the rare occasions I went swimming I would run for a towel the second I came out of the water. We went to a waterpark on our last day, and that is what really pushed me to do something about my weight for 2 reasons. 1) I had a bikini on but I was planning to wear a little beach dress over it on the slides to cover myself up so I was really looking forward to it. At the top of the first slide, the woman made me take off my dress in front of everyone and I felt hideous.. If I had prepared myself for having to be in a bikini for the day I might not have felt so bad, but I felt fine in the dress and it was such a shock to have to suddenly bare my body for 8 hours. If I had known I probably would not have come. 2) They took a photograph of each group coming into the park - so me, my 2 cousins and a friend we made. When we were leaving the park the pictures were stuck up on a wall for us to see and it was possibly the worst photo I have ever seen of myself. I didn't realise how big I had gotten, and to make matters worse my cousin bought it! I didn't let on how crap I felt because skinny people never understand. I had a lump in my throat on the bus the whole way back to the hotel and really struggled to keep back the tears.
I am going back to Spain for a week in October and NEVER want to feel the way I felt this summer. I cut down and began exercising the day after I got home from Spain, but I have only 6 and a half weeks until I go back, so I started on the CWP on Tuesday because I know it gives fast results. I'm planning to stay on sole source until I go and then return to it after the holiday. Haven't decided what I'm going to do for the week I'm in Spain yet though...
So I'm currently on day 5. My first weigh-in will be this Wednesday, and then it will be every second Wednesday from then on. It is going well so far. It's by no means easy, but the thoughts of me wearing a swimsuit in less than 7 weeks have kept me going. I got very bad headaches the first 3 days, but they are getting better now thank god! I'm also finding it difficult to sleep but I'm presuming it is just my body adjusting and will improve with time.
So that is my story in a nutshell! Hope I haven't bored ye all haha
best of luck today everyone, hope ye are having a good day. WE CAN DO THIS!!!
x
So my names Lucie, I'm a 20 year old uni student and I've struggled with my weight for seven years. Up until my teenage years I had never even thought about my weight, I was a dancer and not even close to being overweight. But at 13, my dad (who I was extremely close to) passed away very suddenly and my world stopped there and then. I stopped dancing and began to comfort eat a lot, and remember being 12 and a half stone when I was 15. I went on my first diet and got down to 10 stone but gained the weight back plus a lot more. I go through periods of dieting and will lose quite a bit of weight, but in the end I always gain it back with an extra few pounds on top. I used to be so bubbly and confident but now I feel so gross that I am making excuses not to meet my friends because I don't want them to see how much weight I have put on. It has come to the stage now where I have gone into the obese category and I don't want my health to suffer. I also love fashion and most of my nice clothes are gone too small for me and I need to get back into them as I have been wearing most tracksuit bottoms and jumpers all summer!
I was in Spain for some of July and August and have never felt so self-conscious. My 2 cousins were with me and they are both really thin, and I felt horrible beside them. I never lay out in a bikini for the whole two weeks.. and the rare occasions I went swimming I would run for a towel the second I came out of the water. We went to a waterpark on our last day, and that is what really pushed me to do something about my weight for 2 reasons. 1) I had a bikini on but I was planning to wear a little beach dress over it on the slides to cover myself up so I was really looking forward to it. At the top of the first slide, the woman made me take off my dress in front of everyone and I felt hideous.. If I had prepared myself for having to be in a bikini for the day I might not have felt so bad, but I felt fine in the dress and it was such a shock to have to suddenly bare my body for 8 hours. If I had known I probably would not have come. 2) They took a photograph of each group coming into the park - so me, my 2 cousins and a friend we made. When we were leaving the park the pictures were stuck up on a wall for us to see and it was possibly the worst photo I have ever seen of myself. I didn't realise how big I had gotten, and to make matters worse my cousin bought it! I didn't let on how crap I felt because skinny people never understand. I had a lump in my throat on the bus the whole way back to the hotel and really struggled to keep back the tears.
I am going back to Spain for a week in October and NEVER want to feel the way I felt this summer. I cut down and began exercising the day after I got home from Spain, but I have only 6 and a half weeks until I go back, so I started on the CWP on Tuesday because I know it gives fast results. I'm planning to stay on sole source until I go and then return to it after the holiday. Haven't decided what I'm going to do for the week I'm in Spain yet though...
So I'm currently on day 5. My first weigh-in will be this Wednesday, and then it will be every second Wednesday from then on. It is going well so far. It's by no means easy, but the thoughts of me wearing a swimsuit in less than 7 weeks have kept me going. I got very bad headaches the first 3 days, but they are getting better now thank god! I'm also finding it difficult to sleep but I'm presuming it is just my body adjusting and will improve with time.
So that is my story in a nutshell! Hope I haven't bored ye all haha
best of luck today everyone, hope ye are having a good day. WE CAN DO THIS!!!x
