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My Diet Fears

Oinkstop

Full Member
S: 18st1lb C: 16st3lb G: 8st6lb BMI: 41.5 Loss: 1st12lb(10.28%)
#1
I know that to be successful in my diet, I really need to live in the moment and not worry about what comes next. But, I'm a worrier, and these things have been increasingly on my mind. I figured if I shared my worries, maybe they won't bother me so much.

Some of them are pretty irrational, I know...

I worry that:

  • When I've lost all the weight (a total of nearly 10 st from my top weight) I'll look like a deflated balloon.
  • I'll gain all the weight back plus more. (A valid fear, since that's happened every other time I've dieted)
  • If I want to keep the weight off, I'll have to practically starve myself, all of the time.
  • I'll shrink down to a weird shape and I still won't be able to find clothing that fits correctly. (i.e. pants that fit my bum will be too big in the waist)
  • Once I lose all the weight, I'll find out I have some terrible and incurable disease.
  • My wife will decide she doesn't like me anymore.
  • I'll be lighter, but I'll still look fat.
Anyone else?
 
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G: 9st10lb
#2
Hi

I'm with you on those points too:(

Im scared to go back to 'normal eating' I want to be on this forever!

Im worried that my preconceived idea of what i will look like thinner wont actually look like that to me in the mirror - but others can see the real difference. I think i will have a fat-head on for life.

I worry not that my DH will leave me, but that i leave him as he has no interest in dieting/getting healthy for the kids' sake and he will have no energy to help me enjoy the lifestyle i hope to be leading after i've lost my weight:(:(:(

Like you, i worry i will lose my weight, then be told i have weeks to live with some illness!

Its hard to focus on all the good that will come out of doing CD when we have probably spent such a large proportion of our lives being miserable.

say something good about yourself every day - see if it makes you smile and improves your mood.

have a good one

Anni xx
 

Wabbitt

Laugh, love, live!
S: 20st8lb C: 20st8lb G: 12st7lb BMI: 42.5 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#3
Hey Oinkstop

I've just read your post and can relate to what you're saying but I like to put a different spin on things.

You may look like a deflated balloon after losing your ten stone so start finding out now how you can avoid that. Gentle toning exercises maybe, I dunno but worth checking out I'm sure.

Gaining all the weight back is a personal choice. We all have free will. If we wanna go back to eating all the wrong things (and lets face it thats what got us here in the first place) then yes you will gain it all back but hopefully you would have learned, once you have lost all your weight, how great it feels to be free of that burden and will not want to take on that burden again. (why would anybody?).#

You won't have to starve yourself forever, you'll just make better choices, healthier choices (with the occassional treat, everything in moderation my love!).

As for finding clothes that wont fit, whats wrong with getting taylor made suits/trousers? Guaranteed to fit and oh so totally stylish and sexy!!!

If you suddenly get diagnosed with some incurable disease then live each day to the full, enjoy the new found you. Climb mountains, stroll beaches, live, laugh and love.

If your wife decides she doesn't like you anymore then honey she isn't the person you thought she was and not worthy of being called your wife. But, I bet you she'll love you even more so love her, cherish her and make her feel like a princess.

I've never known anyone lose 10 stone and still look fat!!! It's all about your own perceptions honey. You'll look bloody fantastic!!!! xx
 

Purple Hugs

Loves weight.. training!
S: 13st5.5lb C: 12st13lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 32.1 Loss: 0st6.5lb(3.47%)
#4
Sounds pretty normal to me.. well I can tick all but one (the incurrable desease one) ;)

I guess we're heading into the unknown and that is a scary thing for most people! :D We wouldn't be human if we didn't think ahead either. I think in dieting you need to think ahead, to keep yourself on track and personally to get my head around certain factors :)

Someone said the old 'when you go back to the way you ate before, you'll gain the weight back' comment and to be honest I almost laughed as I said I can NEVER go back to how I ate before or yes i WILL gain the weight back. I've never thought of myself having an eating problem in the past, I'm not a binge eater, I don't purge etc etc.. but.. what I do do and have done, is not care how many calories are in a meal, or the fat content, enjoyed puddings and not felt satisfied till i've eaten one. And biggest of all, not understood as a SHORT female I need less calories than the 'average' on the packs and in the press. It's taken me 37 years but something has finally clicked into place! :D
NOW.. these are such tools that I'm going to be armed with. I can't even eat something small now without feeling full - and I mean SMALL so my stomach has obviously shrunk and I need to remember the 'fist' size of my stomach when it comes to eating for the future too - I have childlike hands (honestly) and therefore must really have a small stomach.. i've just abused it in the past cramming in too much.

If you can now list things you have learnt.. or go and learn some facts about how you should be eating when you get to goal (which you will) THEN you will be able to be positive and sway the negative.

I'm not trying to pretend it'll be easy, but then neither is dieting is it. But if we learn from our mistakes, and move on then I truly believe we can do it. There are success stories on here, who have kept it off, we just have to MAKE ourselves one of those people! :D

((hugs)) sorry to have gone on! lol
 
G: 10st0lb
#5
Ahhh don't worry honey...... nothing is as bad as it seems, your worrys can't be turned around.

I know that to be successful in my diet, I really need to live in the moment and not worry about what comes next. But, I'm a worrier, and these things have been increasingly on my mind. I figured if I shared my worries, maybe they won't bother me so much.

Some of them are pretty irrational, I know...

I worry that:
When I've lost all the weight (a total of nearly 10 st from my top weight)
  • I'll look like a deflated balloon.
  • Well I'm sure if you take measures now, things won't be to bad.... Bio Oil, is brilliant, I've heard brilliant reports about it, use it every day all over paying special attention to the areas you are most worried about... it really helps the skin shrink back. Also worth remembering that often skins catches up with fast weight loss and people have said there lose skin areas impoved after a few months. Toning helps to.
  • I'll gain all the weight back plus more. (A valid fear, since that's happened every other time I've dieted)
  • No this is a really problem and one you are clever in addressing now. You need to form a plan to keep the weight off.... I would recommend help from someone, either via your Doctors or via a different weight loss service like weight loss resorces.... If you look into it now and really ask yourself how important is your health and well being then you will come to the right choices. Just because you have put weight on before doesn't mean you have to again. It is your choice and your life, you are in charge.
  • If I want to keep the weight off, I'll have to practically starve myself, all of the time.
  • I don't think that will happen, you need to remember what you were eating before was way to much, other wise you wouldn't have put the weight on. I think the trouble is with over weight people and I am talking from personal experience is that very often we get the wrong idea on what is a lot to eat and what isn't. I had a friend over to stay a while ago, it was my hubbys friend and he ate so little, compaired to what I would have eaten..... we need to relook at portions sizes and get a better reality on what we should be eating.
  • I'll shrink down to a weird shape and I still won't be able to find clothing that fits correctly. (i.e. pants that fit my bum will be too big in the waist)
  • You can get to a shape to suit you, if your a man with a bigger behind, you are laughing,,,,, nothing like a chap with a bit of a bottom to grab on to..... and they look great in trousers.... lucky you.:D
  • Once I lose all the weight, I'll find out I have some terrible and incurable disease.
  • This is a really sad thing to think.....:eek:,but in reality, your weight loss is highly unlikely to cause an incurable disease, and if you find one after your weight loss you would have found if even if you didn't lose weight... it may taken longer but it would still have been there, and the fitter and healthier you are the better for any disease, so losing weight can only be good for you in that respect. Think positive.... if your worried about your health visit your Doctor of a full MOT....
  • My wife will decide she doesn't like me anymore.
  • If your wife loves you as much as I love my hubby there is no way she won't like you any more, talk to her about your worries...
  • I'll be lighter, but I'll still look fat.
  • This is a funny one,.... hmmmmm you may think after you have lost the weight that you still look fat, but you WONT really..... It takes time for us to realize that we are slim and not a fatty any more, I think this is why people put weight on sometimes, because they don't realize just how great they have done.
  • You need to listen to the lovely comments that come with the weight loss and look at your new cloths sizes, there is no way after losing 10 stone you will look fat....
Good luck and sorry if I've gone on....
XX Fluffy
Anyone else?
 

Katycakes

Stubborn tortoise
S: 14st11lb C: 14st9lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 31.2 Loss: 0st2lb(0.97%)
#6
Loving the positive attitude here, Wabbit, Purple & Fluff! I understand your worries, Oink, but I feel strongly that you HAVE to think positive in this life if you want to make changes and grab the happiness you deserve. Negative thinking attracts negative things - it really does. Believe that this will work, that you will maintain, that it will change your life 100% for the better. What's the alternative? Go back to obesity and (for me anyway) the self-hate that was wrapped up with that, the low self-esteem, the health risks, the hopelessness, the feeling that this was all I deserved. I am NOT going back there.

You WILL look slim, after losing 10 stone, that's not negotiable, and you will look lovely that way. You WILL be healthier too, not negotiable either. I have never heard of losing weight to reach a sensible BMI & healthy size EVER causing heart disease, cancer, or life threatening illness. But we all know that obesity can & does.

You will only regain the weight if you go back to the eating patterns that made you big to start with. You have to find a place in your head and in your heart where you DON'T want that to happen. Where it's the LAST thing you would ever want. Comfort & happiness is not to be found in food... that's something it has taken me a lifetime to discover, but the discovery feels life changing. I too regained the weight lost on previous diets, but that's because I never looked at why I was fat before, and never challenged my binge-eat issues. Things are different now. They have to be - I am NOT going to regain, and NOT going back to the way I ate in the past. I feel healthier emotionally as well as physically.

So, do we go hungry forever? I don't think so. Maybe we just don't eat until we are so full we feel stuffed, though. Maybe we make good choices, eat healthy foods and not high-fat fast foods of sugary snacks that are bad for us in so many ways. It WILL have to be different, but those changes are GOOD.

And you wife, if she loves you, will want all this for you and support you, and love you just as much slim. If she wanted to keep you fat, unhealthy, unhappy... well, THAT would be problem, surely?

Hugs, Oink. I can feel your fears, but please don't let the little voices of doubt inside you derail you on this. It's way too important.

xxx
 

Dieting Rambler

Size 14 Here I Come!
S: 20st6lb C: 16st7lb G: 12st2lb BMI: 39.6 Loss: 3st13lb(19.23%)
#7
Oinkstop, you have had great advice given to you here. :D

I have found that it is easier to focus on the negative about what we don't want....but what we should be doing is focusing on what we do want....so instead of saying "I don't want to be fat anymore", we should be saying "I want to be slim, fit and healthy"

....so you are worried about being a deflated balloon.....instead you need to turn it around to "My skin will fit my body like a glove"....and focus on that ...you will then make choices so that your skin will fit like a glove.

you are worried about regaining the weight...turn it around to "I will maintain a weight of XX stone and be healthy"

you are worried about starving yourself to maintain....turn in it around to "I will to full and satisfied with the calorie intake I need to maintain my healthy weight of XX stone"

you are worried about being a weird shape...turn it around "I will be a size XX waist and clothes from XXXXX shop will fit me like a glove and I will look fabulous"

you are worried about a serious disease....."I will be healthy, happy and do everything in my power to remain positive"

you are worried about your wife not loving you once you have gotten to your goal....." I will love my wife, I will honour my wife, and I will be a good husband" (you can't focus on your wife but you can focus on your behaviors towards her)

you are worried you will still look fat....."I will look in the mirror and I will see a slim, handsome, positive, funny, honourable man"

and in time as you get used to a more positive out look change those "I will"'s to "I am"

I am sorry to go on, and I hope it makes sense, this is new for me too, this positive approach to life but it works!
 

Oinkstop

Full Member
S: 18st1lb C: 16st3lb G: 8st6lb BMI: 41.5 Loss: 1st12lb(10.28%)
#8
Thanks everyone, for the great comments. I know that most of the stuff I worry about isn't really rational, but it's the stuff that feeds my nightmares and wakes me up in the middle of the night!
 

Katycakes

Stubborn tortoise
S: 14st11lb C: 14st9lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 31.2 Loss: 0st2lb(0.97%)
#9
Scary for all of us after so many years of hiding behind the weight, but don't be scared of the real you... or of the future. Get motivated and change things for the better... go for it!
xxx
 

nina

Silver Member
S: 335lb C: 333lb G: 175lb BMI: 50.6 Loss: 2lb(0.6%)
#10
just wanted to say i too know what those fears are...and they are very real...but we al will get through them with a positive frame of mind -- very helpful advice the other members have given -- thanks!
 


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