My last fat summer....

[Louieec]

Hello everyone :wave_cry:

I have made previous posts under another name but have decided to make a fresh start...

Where to begin...

Ive been overweight for as long as I can remember. Sometimes much overweight than other times. I joined slimming world in 2011 and at my heaviest was 22st 12lbs. I was probably heavier than this but I did lose some weight before I started. In a year I lost 8 stone. I felt great, took up lots of exercise and felt so, so positive that I could finish the job and lose another couple of stone.

I seemed to plateau but kept up my exercise and I felt fit and strong. Of course I had my blimps like everyone else but on the whole I was doing great...fast forward to September 2012, my mum had a stroke and the comfort eating began. I have always been a massive comfort eater and this was the start of my downfall. For the last 10 months I have been up and down like a yoyo, binge eating and then starting slimming world again, losing two stone in two months and then binging again and piling it all back on (and more)

I am terrified that I am never going to get this under control. I am now sitting at over 17 stone, nearly 3 stone heavier than my lowest weight. I am starting this diary as hopefully it will help me. There are lots of reasons why I comfort eat and maybe I will end up boring you all and rambling about those as well!

I don't want to be unfit and fat anymore, especially in this heat. I hate it!
Hello to everyone here:wavey:and thanks for reading! I need some support so if anyone has any to spare please feel free to chuck it this way xx

 

[bridesmaidblitz]

I'm sorry to hear about your mother, I am aware how hard it can be when disaster of that sort strikes! I also know it reeks havoc with the diet.

I am here for support.

 

[Louieec]

Thank you very much I need to do something. I just wish I could find my lost mojo! I can't use bad things in life as an excuse to binge because life is full of stressors so when would it end?

 

[Louieec]

Well, my first "proper" day back on the old wagon. Could have been better, could have been worse! Annoyed at myself because we did a food shop and there were samples of cheese on the counter....me being me I had a couple! Sure, a couple of small bits of cheese won't kill me but it's the principle! Why can't I just say no?

Breakfast: porridge with semi skimmed milk - YUMBO.

Lunch: 2 x snack packs of m&s sushi, small mixed fruit salad and fat free vanilla yogurt.

Snack: portion of the Special K crisp type things. They are amazing.

For dinner I will be having mushy pea curry and brown rice. For those of you who haven't tried it I would really recommend it, it's lovely!

I've spent a huge amount of today worrying and thinking about food. It's really getting me down but just going to take one day at a time.

 

[bridesmaidblitz]

Oh. It's super hard to stay away from cheese!!! I love cheese.

That's it just take it one day at a time. I have to otherwise I'll feel all daunted by things and binge like crazy. I really want some chocolate today but i am being strong, taking today as it comes.

If i still want chocolate tomorrow might have some though.

 

[Louieec]

Well, I ended up having a massive munch whats wrong with me?

Start AGAIN tomorrow

 

[Melissa2890]

Hi there.

Good luck on your weight loss!
I started meal replacement shakes 4 weeks ago but after 3 and a half weeks I had enough of not eating. I started missing shakes & snacking :0
Anyway I've decided to do the shakes but replace one with a low carb meal at night, which seems to be taking away the majority of my food cravings. Past few nights I've had a tuna salad, yum!
I'm about 5'6 I did weigh 14.4 I now weigh 12.11.
So I'm quite happy with my loss but I hope having a meal at night doesn't completely slow my weight loss down.
X

 

[bridesmaidblitz]

Well, I ended up having a massive munch whats wrong with me?

Start AGAIN tomorrow

Nothing is wrong with you!!! But maybe instead of writing a whole day off, why not write the meal off and get back on plan for dinner? Acknowledge the mistake and then just put it behind you.

 

[JoEveCar]

Don't give up on the day!! So you had a bit of a wobble and gave into something naughty.
You did it, you felt bad, move on...............exactly what bridesmaidblitz said, don't give up on the whole day.

I had a McDonalds bacon roll and hash brown this morning. I enjoyed it, counted how many weight watchers points it was and now I know what I can eat for the rest of the day and stay within my points. I felt a bit guilty about eating it but balanced it out with a salad for lunch and tonight (yes in this heat!) I'll be having a soup.

Don't beat yourself up!

 

[Louieec]

Thanks guys

Ive had a much better day today. Had a cooked breakfast, slimming world style. Salmon roll for lunch and my trusted mushy pea curry for dinner.

I just get so disappointed in myself. I want to feel fit and healthy so why do I binge and do it to myself? Wah I have issues....

My name is Louise, I'm 17st and addicted to food

 

[Doublegirl]

Me too!!!

I honestly think its the mental attitude that we are "depriving" ourselves. I get the same with eating "bad" / "treat" foods. Most of the time I don't even like them!! But because of my mental association i reward myself
with them.

Glad you had a good day!

X

 

[Louieec]

Thank you doublegirl

I have a huge amount going on in my life at the moment and I don't react well to stress so it feels like a constant battle. Meh we will get there in the end, one way or another! Xx

 

[bridesmaidblitz]

Thanks guys

Ive had a much better day today. Had a cooked breakfast, slimming world style. Salmon roll for lunch and my trusted mushy pea curry for dinner.

I just get so disappointed in myself. I want to feel fit and healthy so why do I binge and do it to myself? Wah I have issues....

My name is Louise, I'm 17st and addicted to food

I don't know about you, but I have a little of something in my plan so I don't feel deprived. My vice is chocolate! Maybe if you plan some food that you like (within reason) you will be less likely to binge. I know if I didn't let myself have chocolate, I would be okay for a few days, then really want some, think 'screw it' and eat a whole bar of Galaxy!

 

[Louieec]

I just feel like I have to be perfect all the time or ive buggered up, know what I mean? X

 

[Louieec]

Well had a rubbish weekend eating wise but been spot on today. Did bodypump tonight and the sweat was dripping off me but WOW what a class!

Did anyone else watch that Jessie pavelka programme on sky one tonight? Inspiring.

Hope everyone is ok

 

[Louieec]

Hello diary!

Today has been a challenging day. Made some treats for work and had a small piece. This instantly triggered my "all or nothing" brain I.e I have to be perfect all the time with my eating or I've blown it so may as well binge...

I struggled but only had one piece.

Came home tonight and had a massive barney with my man and yip, you guessed it - all I can think about is food. I've not binged but man I want to!

I wish I wasn't like this when will it be easier or just go away?

Hope you are all well x