My lipo journey journal (feel free not to read lol)xx

Discussion in 'Lipotrim Forum' started by tasha2000, 23 October 2009.

  1. tasha2000

    tasha2000 Well-Known Member

    So going to the pharmasist today to start properly.. am on day five as had a week of shakes left from last time.. didnt weigh myself, so will start with weigh in today at pharmacy (or tomorrow dont know will they make me take cd home for the night)
    Feeling good this morning except me and dp not getting on the best... hopefully that will change later, hes a stubborn so and so and I suppose its up to me to back down (as usual)....
    Have found it quite hard these past few days, what with the kids and dp etc. but am sticking with it.. have a halloween party next weekend, out in a nightclub so that will be my first challenge, resisting the drink and enjoying myself sober...
    I feel sortof positive today.. hopefully I wont weigh a tonne when i go to the pharmacy but am prepared for whatever the scales say.... hope me and dp make up soon I hate a bad atmosphere, it makes my head hurt.... hope all you ladies (and gents) are gonna have a good day.. will make sure and update my info when I get back.... wish me luck (deep breaths tasha deep breaths) xxxx:wave_cry:
  2. Jesi

    Jesi Well-Known Member

    Good luck with wi hun, I hope all gets better with your hubby.
  3. lisa66

    lisa66 Well-Known Member

    fingers crossed for you hope all goes well . and iam sure you and hubby will make up soon xx
  4. tasha2000

    tasha2000 Well-Known Member

    Aw thanks for the replies.. we seem to be getting on a bit better, both of us are like demons in the morning.. we have three kids to organise and there never seems enough time to do it, and get a coffee and wake up lol
    Went to pharmacist, he was great as usual, really encouraging and thourough.. I weighed in at 13st11... when I started lipotrim last time I started at 14st 7lb.. so good, but not that good really, was a bit gutted id let myself go but sure I knew I had by me wobbly bits lol... anyway, just had my chicken soup and gonna watch some tele then do the kidz dinner.. long days eh.. happy weekend everyone xxx
  5. trixiefoofoo

    trixiefoofoo Well-Known Member

    At least you hadn't put it all back on and you sound like you're in the right frame of mind too.

    Glad you and the fella are ok. Know that feeling at the moment unfortunately...

    Good luck with your first 'official' week back x
  6. lippy66

    lippy66 Member

    Hi Tasha
    Best of luck on your journey! I love your "come and buy me" title who could resist such an intriguing heading? I just had to have a look.
  7. tasha2000

    tasha2000 Well-Known Member

    lol.. I re read the title, i think because it is really just me waffling lots lol (well it will be!!) so i dont want to force others to read my waffling and ups and downs lol
    Yeah trixie, they are such a hard species to work out, or maybe not so hard but actually way simpler than we think they are, i am open to debate on that one lol.... its stress thats gets us, then unkind things get said, then the brooding on both sides... and usually me who breaks the ice, i dont think they are able lol... mornings suck at the minute but hopefully as I get more energy they should get better, nearly day five over but i am taking it as officially day one, i am out to confuse myself.. looking forward to my weigh in next friday.. hope I can saty motivated and chirpy.. looking forward to a long bath once the kids are in bed, its mayhem here, the babies are wrecking the gaf but am leaving him to do it as i did all the driving today and am pooped.... would love a cup of coffee but its a bit late??? xxx
  8. jenny_belte

    jenny_belte Well-Known Member

    hey hun, ah hope u and other half sort it out. men are so annoying sometimes.
    good luck with wi.
    x x
  9. tasha2000

    tasha2000 Well-Known Member

    annoying is an understatement lol... hes ok, they just dont understand us women atall.. I am going to try and have a be nice to dp morning tomorrow morning as no mad school run.. Ill see if that chirps him up lol.... they are easily pleased also lol x
  10. anne-mariep

    anne-mariep Well-Known Member

    Hun your weigh in wasnt bad it was good you didnt put it all back on. Hope tings go better for you and your hubby no mad rushing to get the kids ready shud help alot. Your energy will return soon and mornings wont seem as bad.
  11. tasha2000

    tasha2000 Well-Known Member

    aw thanks annmarie, I hope th emornings get better, I have never been a morning person.. my idea of heaven is three cups of coffee in bed, then a huge breakfast (or three lol)
    That has always been my downfall, breakfast!! For alot of other people it is the opposite, but I can eat and eat and eat in the morning... three or four slices of toast, egg, bacon, mmm.. marmite.... omg stop tasha stop...... lol
    Sometimes I just think he speaks to me like I am stupid, and I am definately not stupid.... he knows if i dont get my coffee in the morning I am a raging lunatic.. how hard can it be for him to bring me a cup of coffee every morning in bed lol (I can dream)
    I think I need to set my alarm for half an hour earlier that the babies get up so i can come round to being human again........ xxx
  12. anne-mariep

    anne-mariep Well-Known Member

    Yeah i do that i set my alarm for 6 i dont have babies but have two puppies and god they are mental in the morning so if im not awake for a bit before i venture down the poor things wud be killed in seconds haha!

    Trust me for the first say 4 weeks of lipotrim i was goin to bed at 9 now i find it hard to stop doin things after 11. Im tired but just have a never ending fuse which i wud have never thought wud happen coz i was uncommonly weak for the first month on lipotrim.

    coffee in bed we can all dream haha!
  13. tasha2000

    tasha2000 Well-Known Member

    well have had a sh&t day, stuck to the plan.... went to a friends kids 1st birthday party, didnt think the adult would be drinking but they were, an old friend (and drinking buddy) of dps was there, and after an hour or so they both tucked into the vodka.. my dp is an as$hole when drunk... and ofcourse procedeed to b an asshole.. we are so not getting on recently, complete failure to communticat.. ah well, we have two babies and it is soo hard recently for me to know which way to go, stick with it, he is a wonderful father but has his demons, drink being one of them... :(
    He is in bed snoring...
    Found it hard at the party, lots of yummy food and people having a great time (I smiled but it was one of those hurt the cheek smiles)
    Am so glad i didnt cave in, usually if me and dp are not getting on, I eat... any other time I would be sat here on me todd eating.. but not this time, have to sort myself out, get my head back on my shoulders and work out a way for things to change, with myslef and my home life... sorry for moaning xxx
  14. anne-mariep

    anne-mariep Well-Known Member

    Babes well done for realising when and why you used to eat its an achievement and will help you in the future.

    Sorry about things not goin well wit your hubby. I hope tings get better for you as they seem to be crap at home at the moment and of course thats make this diet harder. Really well done sticking to lt.

    As far as the drinking and eating is concerned just take from it that you were able to resist wen others around you were over indulging. You wont have a hangover or feel bloated later they will. Thats wat i tink wen i see my family and friends overindulging like i used too!

    You are doin great and I hope your hubby realises he's being a prat.
  15. trixiefoofoo

    trixiefoofoo Well-Known Member

    Oh Tasha - ditto (almost)

    Been toa family party - actually in my baby's honour, as not all the family had met her.

    Only my Mum knew I was on LT and there was a huge buffett - my heaven :mad: - and people kept trying to force food on me!!

    I avoided drink by driving - but even then, lemons etc in water - grrr!!

    Tomorrow, I have a bloody christening too!! Again-driving, so hope I can avoid the food issue with looking after baby.

    Also, DH and I are still 'bickering'. Prob similar issues chick - having kids allows you to see more faults with them than normal ;)

    Well done though - you stayed super strong, when most would've crumbled. You should be proud.

    Hope things get better soon hun and don't apologise for moaning - that's what we're here for x x
  16. tasha2000

    tasha2000 Well-Known Member

    aw thanks both of you, really struggling tonight,not tired.. keep looking in the cupboards... Im not going to eat but just down tonight, having this forum has helped me alot... Im just going to waffle on a bit now about why i dont like being fat, i think maybe it will help me tonight.. would be so easy to cave in.. was even looking at all thecarb contents in all the tins etc... It shows how dependent I have become on eating to comfort myself when i am down.. by now I probably would have had a few packets of crisps gone.. five or six biscuits, maybe super noodles, anything easy and quick to ram down my gob.. compulsive overeating or emotional over eating, all the while tryin to hide my emotions..maybe that is why i am so down, maybe I am scared i will have to face up to my problems now i am no longer over eating.. anyway... I hate being fat because:

    I wake up everyday dreading getting dressed
    I hate shopping because I buy to hide rather than buy to wear
    I hate people telling me what a pretty face i have because i know what they are finishng the sentence with in their heads
    I feel so unsexy and almost defeminised
    I sit in public with my handbag over my stomach
    I hate being fat and I have spent so much time being jelous of people who are thin
    I hate my daughters to see me when they are older fat, and follow in my footsteps
    I hate hiding behind my fatness....

    I dont know if this is helping me tonight, I am drinking so much water.... day 6, its not the lipotrim that is hard, but the life surrounding it.. I dont know if maybe dp is threatened by me loosing the weight, he can be so insecure.... But Im not loosing it for attention from other men.....
    Thankyou for replying ladies.. tonight has been my hardest night emotionally.. I hope tomorrow is a better day for
  17. fatisnofun

    fatisnofun Well-Known Member

    Hey there...I'm a counsellor! Just finished my training...up until a few months ago I used to tell people I had no experience of addiction...until I did a course on addiction and realised that I had a food addiction! Silly me!

    I comfort eat too, when I'm down, when I'm stressed, and then when I can't eat I chain what kind of example would I be setting to my clients if I can't kick it?

    It doesn't sound like your the one with the problem in the relationship love, sounds like he needs to look at himself maybe??

    This food addiction is something your going to have to try to kick just like smoking, drinking etc.
    I read a book called "Heal your body" by Louise Hay, just finished it...I'd highly recommend it...and any books you can get your hands on about low self-esteem. I reckon TFR is a really good way of kicking an addiction to food...its a bit like drug detox. And another huge step you've made is that you've become aware of your triggers...thats half the battle believe me!

    Best of luck lovey, you are doing so well.
  18. tasha2000

    tasha2000 Well-Known Member

    Thanks a million... I think my self esteem is down down down, and i dont think my relationship is helping but I have to sort it out for myself and my children... I can see a way out at the moment, dont think i want to either, but it is niggling the back of my mind that my situation and relationship is probably untainable....
    First thing he did this morning was go out to the shop (very unlike him) get bacon and fry it up (very very unusual) and eat it... lol
    Yep fatisnofun, he defo has a problem with drink, promised to stay off it, managed three weeks........
    I am bringing my son (his step son) down to my mums today to stay for the week, it is half term, he is nine and picks up on the atmosphere and i need time to think..
    I know this isnt a relationship forum lol.. but all this has so much to do with why i have become so overweight in the first place.. and I think if i dont sort out my personal life then even if i do get to an ideal weight i will be unable to sustain it...
    My first challenge for myslef is to get my old car on the road... we have a car together but he is out alot and i am stuck here, so about time I reclaimed my freedom eh, thatll be a start.... I taught him how to drive and got him through his test (bad move) and now am almost reliant on his schedule.. that has to change so, will go in on the 2nd november and tax insure etc. I have a wee polo, runs fine and will do, just have to sort the paper work....
    fatisno fun, I will definately look into that book.. funnily enough I picked up a copy of 'feal the fear and do it anyway' a few weeks ago in a second hand shop and i think it was this book that made me decide to restart...
    anyhow i waffle on (i said so at the start of the thread lol)
  19. fatisnofun

    fatisnofun Well-Known Member

    Its no you do sound very self-aware...I actually was in a bit of a similar situation 5 years ago (without the kids). Its a great idea to start getting your independence back...I think perhaps before making the move of getting out...try setting bounderies, bit by bit, the car is a good one, then maybe getting in touch with some friends and trying to have some free time outside your home...try that, see how it goes hun. Actually...I've got another great book you should read...its called "codependent no more" by Melody Beatty, now I'd better shut up or people will start complaining that I'm turning this into a counselling forum!!!!
  20. tasha2000

    tasha2000 Well-Known Member

    lol, I am defo codependent, you should be charging for this lol.....
    Defo getting the car sorted out, this will mean i can have my own time away from dp and the kids, everybody needs me time eh.. doing better this afternoon, cooked kids lovely dinner and going to have my chicken soup now.. not too bad, alot more energy anyway xxx

Share This Page

This site uses cookies and its third-party providers also uses cookies. By using this site you agree to this notice and understand why we have cookies.