My "low fat" MIL is driving me crazy!!

Discussion in 'Atkins Diet' started by Seraphine, 27 September 2010 Social URL.

  1. Seraphine

    Seraphine Full Member

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    MIL = Mother in Law

    I love her dearly, but she just. doesn't. get. it.

    In February, I went with her and my SIL to Scottish Slimmers. I did okay with it (because I didn't cheat) but was hungry all the time. I thought it would be easier if we were all on the same plan as we share family meals up to twice a week, but eventually when I moved back to Atkins, the two of them just can't quite figure out why I'm losing weight and they aren't.

    They both cheat like crazy on their diets - always having that "little something". My BIL (SIL's husband) is quite snide about it - he tells them that they can give him £5 a week and he can tell them they are fat, and they won't have to go to the meetings anymore. They both lose and gain the same stone back and forth - this has been going on for years.

    Yesterday, my MIL said to me: "so it's Atkins you are on, right?"
    Me: Yes, lots of meat, lots of green veg, no sugar, no wheat.
    MIL: You did that years ago, and you put all the weight back on! It can't be good for you!
    Me: Well, I did have two babies since I did it the first time, plus I cultivated a serious chocolate problem. I didn't just get fat overnight!
    MIL: You've done well to get it off, but I hope it doesn't all go back on. I still don't know how you can keep up the will power.
    Me: I'm just not hungry all the time anymore. I found something that works for me, even though it might not work for everyone. :slap:

    So they understand I can't eat potatoes, and that I don't eat bread. That part they seem to have gotten through their heads(although they still offer them incessantly - "how could one or two chips hurt?") But they don't understand why I can't eat carrots, low fat yogurt, diet crisps, lite salad cream (yuck!) or any of the Scottish Slimmers cookies and crap they bring home from meetings. I told them so many times - it's not the fat, it's the sugar!

    But I can handle myself. Last night was a roast beef dinner at their house (my husband is away for a few weeks, and they like to have us round so we don't get too lonely). I had roast beef (lots) and brussel sprouts, and a little gravy. I skipped the bread, yorkshire puddings, steamed carrots and roast potatoes. And dessert. My mother in law kept saying, "but you aren't eating anything!" But I was fine! I don't have a huge appetite now anyway.

    And they just couldn't understand how I could pass up dessert. I told them I could eat something like strawberries and cream, but nothing like pavlova or chocolate cake like they were eating. I actually said that losing weight felt better than eating it.

    Last night I showed them some labels - one of their little low fat puddings had 30g of carbs in it! That's more than I eat in a day!


    I guess the one thing that bugs me about them is that "low fat = healthy", even for the children. She tried to give my 17 month old daughter a chocolate mousse yesterday, telling me, "it's okay, it's a low fat one". I told her that it didn't matter if it was low-fat or not... in fact, I'd rather her have the full fat versions of anything! She doesn't need all that toxic, sugary, fake food garbage - give her real cream, full fat milk, butter, good meat and veg. Don't get her started on Quavers and diet yogurts!

    And thankfully, my daughter turned her nose up at the mousse... good girl! (and she normally eats anything offered to her).

    Sorry for the vent. I know I'm right, but I can't get anyone in my family to understand that! (and am trying not to come off as a know-it-all).
     
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  3. Jim

    Jim Big Boy

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    LOL Seraphine, been there done that love. It's not a rant, it's a very well crafted piece, and hopefully will help other members,
     
  4. ladyfelsham

    ladyfelsham Clean green leafy machine

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    Good for you Seraphine - you know what's going to work for you, and maybe you will win them over to the low carb way of thinking - especially when they see the pounds dropping off you!

    But feel free to vent anytime :)

    Susie
     
  5. Seraphine

    Seraphine Full Member

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    The thing is, they've SEEN me drop all this weight! I live 20 minutes away, and see them several times a week, and they were with me during my shopping trip yesterday. They have seen it work for me. But as for converting them, all they say to me is "oh, I could NEVER give up potatoes or bread!". So they eat their little low-fat sandwiches, and then moan about how hungry they are... then they stop at M&S for sweeties or cakes.

    :rolleyes:
     
  6. Cinta

    Cinta Silver Member

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    You know the truth Seraphine. Unfortunately if people don't want to change you can't make them, you can only be firm about what they give your little ones to eat.
    I've had this too. Friends say "you've done so well, I wish I could lose weight", but they don't want to read about it or actually change what they're eating, lol. I often give this website out, but they can't even be a*sed to look at it. One friend who follows SW (& it works very well for her) asked about LC foods & then said she would try that with a baked potato!!!! Duh!

    You're not ranting, although you know you can anytime on here. Don't forget there may be more than a touch of the green eyed monster about your weight loss &, after years of hearing the same thing, your BIL has probably had enough, lol.

    Good luck :D x
     
  7. Zimara

    Zimara Yummy mummy to be!

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    Nice rant girlie girl!

    Loving it!
     
  8. Spinoza

    Spinoza Gold Member

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    Totally get your frustration dealing with that Sera!
     
  9. MissyMustDoIt

    MissyMustDoIt Silver Member

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    as jom saod thats a well written piece...vent away, i get the same here, not so much work colleagues but family....i just dont listen, and you havent too.....good on ya x
     
  10. Jim

    Jim Big Boy

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    I'll have some of what missy is having. ;)
     
  11. Cinta

    Cinta Silver Member

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    PMSL!! I was going to say something, but just stopped myself :D
     
  12. Seraphine

    Seraphine Full Member

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    Hey, I want some of that stuff too!

    Everyone, thanks so much!! Not just for the lovely comments, but also for being there for me through all this. Not everyone understands, but you guys do!
     
  13. Jim

    Jim Big Boy

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    yes love, we do.
     
  14. Seraphine

    Seraphine Full Member

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    UPDATE - she's at it again.

    I was going over there last night to do her nails (I'm a nail tech), and I didn't even think to ask what was for dinner as we were meant to be eating there. I'd had a late lunch, and I really wasn't hungry (don't tend to be in the evening anymore). I wasn't thinking about food in the slightest.

    Anyway, my FIL has made beef stew. With flour. To be served with homemade chips. And the veg? Turnip and carrot, chopped fine and added to the stew.

    When I saw it, I just kind of blurted out "I'm so sorry, FIL, but I can't eat that right now.". I hope it didn't come out quite that blunt - I just wasn't fast enough on my feet. He shot a look over to my MIL, who said to me "what's the problem - you said you eat meat and vegetables, and that's what stew is!".

    Because my FIL cooked it, I felt really bad. I said "FIL, I'm so sorry - I won't be able to join you for dinner. It's true I can have meat and vegetables, but it has to be ones low in sugar like cabbage and salads and broccoli. Startchy veg isn't really allowed. Not even carrots".

    He shrugged, and glared over to my MIL - "SHE said you could eat all this, so I didn't think I had to ask". My MIL just huffed. "I don't see how eating vegetables is a BAD thing! How can stew be bad??"

    This is what surprised me - my FIL shouts over to my MIL, "it doesn't matter, she can eat anything she likes because whatever she's doing is working, and I'm not about to mess it up for her".

    :faint2:

    My heart flipped over. In one sentence, he made it clear that
    1) he didn't think I was a looney for not eating potatoes,

    2) made an inference that at least someone is losing weight around here (unlike my MIL and SIL, who are constantly dieting), and

    3) made me feel so much better for turning down dinner, despite my desire not to be rude.

    I told them both not to worry about it at all - I wasn't hungry, and I'd grab something later. So I had some chicken when I got home, feeling eminantly pleased with myself :p
     
  15. Jim

    Jim Big Boy

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    Well good for him Seraphine, looks like he's on your side love.
     
  16. Dietkitty

    Dietkitty Rebel without a calorie

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    What a breakthrough! You have his support and perhaps the MIL and SIL will have some 'food' for thought too!!
     
  17. ladyfelsham

    ladyfelsham Clean green leafy machine

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    Great news Seraphine - maybe he'll work on her and she'll stop trying to sabotage you :)

    Susie
     
  18. coffeelover

    coffeelover Gold Member

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    Now that FIL has voiced his opinion to MIL, maybe you'll get some understanding from them. That was really good of him to stick up for you.

    Well done for sticking to plan Seraphine
     
  19. Cinta

    Cinta Silver Member

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    That was lovely of him :)
     
  20. Spinoza

    Spinoza Gold Member

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    Yay for the backup. That could have been an awkward situation Sera (completely your MIL's fault too!) so it was lovely to get a compliment off the back of it. :)
     
  21. ClaireCat

    ClaireCat On a mission for boobs!

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    Good for you! I was at my folks for dinner yesterday and we had a couple of different roasts with roast veg and potatoes. I ate the meat and brought some salad with me for it.

    My mum kept asking me if I was okay because I wasnt eating much (compared to the plateful of potato's and starchy veg everyone else was eating along with it) but I was stuffed!

    Was trying to tell me that one slice of key lime pie wouldn't hurt, but I stood my ground and just let them all eat it round about me. Its mostly just condensed milk so I dread to think how many carbs would have been in a slice!

    But I feel super good about not eating any (its my fav) - i was bad the last couple of weeks and put 2lbs on, so I'm really hoping I've lost some when I weight in tomorrow!

    Sorry, now I feel like I've taken over your vent! lol!


    Nice vent btw! :)
     
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