my mates are all jelous and trying to sabotage me

Discussion in 'Exante' started by honeytemple88, 8 August 2011 Social URL.

  1. honeytemple88

    honeytemple88 Silver Member

    Posts:
    638
    Likes Received:
    3
    Start Weight:
    15st12lb
    Current Weight:
    10st5lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st7.0lb
    Lost(%):
    5st7lb(34.68%)
    Diet:
    abit of everything
    :mad: hi all well iv been on exante only for 3 weeks but i lost 40lb b4 i joined my mates are all big and are being very weird with me saying i was to skinny and need to come of the diet im bloody 174lb im still over weight and they keep offering me takeaways but im not going to fail this diet i've always been fat n its time i did sank to make myself fill great, out of every1 i thought who would support me there making me fill crap , also recently broke up with my partner of 5 years and so heart broken i was just sit n scuff my face but i no thats just letting me don plus its the thought of me looking and feling great and showing him what he lost would realy like some words of encouragement, if you don't mindx:cry:x
     
  2. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Matched Content

  3. hannata

    hannata I can haz cake?

    Posts:
    5,343
    Likes Received:
    35
    Start Weight:
    280lb
    Current Weight:
    249.0lb
    Goal Weight:
    208.5lb
    Lost(%):
    31lb(11.07%)
    Diet:
    ADF
    your "friends" don't sound very supportive if you ask me!!! They're just jealous that you are doing so well, I mean look you've lost 48lbs? That must feel unbelievable!!! And you can bet they've noticed too. Keep at it and never let the naysayers get you down xxx
     
  4. honeytemple88

    honeytemple88 Silver Member

    Posts:
    638
    Likes Received:
    3
    Start Weight:
    15st12lb
    Current Weight:
    10st5lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st7.0lb
    Lost(%):
    5st7lb(34.68%)
    Diet:
    abit of everything
    thank you hannata realy apreciate the words onwards and downwards xx
     
  5. hannata

    hannata I can haz cake?

    Posts:
    5,343
    Likes Received:
    35
    Start Weight:
    280lb
    Current Weight:
    249.0lb
    Goal Weight:
    208.5lb
    Lost(%):
    31lb(11.07%)
    Diet:
    ADF
    damn right missy!! You know you can always get lots of support here if your real life peoples are funny about it. :) I find that with a lot of people, they're always so negative... especially ones I work with... I just end up wanting to hide away at lunch time lol XD
     
  6. determinator

    determinator Banned

    Posts:
    3,544
    Likes Received:
    78
    hey hun sound like you having a tough time , but ou are still sticking to exante and being determined .. that is amazing !!!! You need to stand up to your friends and tell them that you will do whatever diet you want and if they dont start supporting you , then they can bog off !!! The only people that have been negaitve towards me doing this plan are the ones that could do with loosing weight themselves , its pure and simple jealousy and not very friend like .

    You are an inspiration and deserve better :D
     
  7. carrieclaus

    carrieclaus Gold Member

    Posts:
    12,065
    Likes Received:
    22
    Start Weight:
    16st0.5lb
    Current Weight:
    9st4.5lb
    Goal Weight:
    8st10lb
    Lost(%):
    6st10lb(41.87%)
    Badges:
    Maintainer
    Diet:
    5:2
    when i initially started lighterlife a few friends had a problem with it and i found it was the friends that were a wee bit overweight and were always classed as the skinny friend. all of a sudden i was the skinny friend which in turn meant they were the "fat friend". its more a culture shock for them and after a while they will get used to the fact that your doing it for you. if they dont then they werent very friendly after all. xx
     
  8. determinator

    determinator Banned

    Posts:
    3,544
    Likes Received:
    78
    are you on facebook hun ? feel free to add me if you want x
     
  9. spf 40

    spf 40 Full Member

    Posts:
    122
    Likes Received:
    1
    Start Weight:
    20st6lb
    Current Weight:
    16st9lb
    Goal Weight:
    13st6lb
    Lost(%):
    3st11lb(18.53%)
    Diet:
    Exante Total Solution
    I think it must be hard for your friends, especially if you've always been fat to together.

    I think when I saw a couple of people in my social circle losing large amounts of weight and becoming thin, in all honesty I think i panicked!

    It was a safety blanket being associated with people my size I guess, as it wasn't just me who was fat, I suppose it was saying ' look, its ok to be fat, these other people are its not just you whose the freak' (my personal opinion) and when these people started losing weight I was no longer part of this safe and secure group, I was the odd , big one out.

    However, I never discouraged, or sabotaged or tried to undermine my weight losing friends.

    I was genuinely happy for them, as I knew that when they were my size they felt just as bad as me and I knew what being slim would have made them feel.

    I think just carry on with the friendship and ignore their offers of food. It might even spur them on to loose weight...
     
  10. Purplecatkin

    Purplecatkin Full Member

    Posts:
    76
    Likes Received:
    0
    Start Weight:
    14st10.2lb
    Current Weight:
    14st0.1lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st7lb
    Lost(%):
    0st10.1lb(4.9%)
    Diet:
    Slim&Save
    Wow, you have done so well so far! Especially considering the negativity of your friends. To be honest they don't sound much like friends to me! Perhaps they are unhappy with their own weight and are jealous that you have the willpower to do something about your own.

    Ignore the comments, and the offers of takeaways etc- you have made the right decision for you and maybe they will take that on board and decide to diet themselves, if not at least you know you are making a positive change to your life! Well done and keep going! xx
     
  11. Bobbi

    Bobbi Silver Member

    Posts:
    661
    Likes Received:
    6
    Start Weight:
    16st6lb
    Current Weight:
    12st7lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    3st13lb(23.91%)
    Diet:
    Exante
    You are damn right about your mates being jealous! They are threatened by this chick who suddenly has the strength to say no to food rather than just bumble along and eat all the stuff that they do. Its sucks feeling like this, I know it does but the sacrifice will soon turn into a huge amount of joy and happiness when you look in the mirror. You will then be able to eat take aways again, maybe it wont be the same carb laden portions but you wont miss out for ever.

    COme here for your little bit of sanity girl. HUGS
     
    Last edited: 8 August 2011
  12. perfectxmess

    perfectxmess Full Member

    Posts:
    153
    Likes Received:
    2
    Current Weight:
    15st7.2lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st7lb
    Diet:
    exante
    just stick at it and ignore them trying to bring you down. maybe stay away from them for a while?
    they'll soon see how happy losing the weight has made you and how much more positive you are as a person. being thin isn't going to change what a good friend you are :) - maybe you should remind them that!
     
  13. Katt

    Katt Silver Member

    Posts:
    514
    Likes Received:
    2
    Start Weight:
    16st8lb
    Current Weight:
    12st13lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st7lb
    Lost(%):
    3st9lb(21.98%)
    Diet:
    Exante
    (((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))) stick with it hun, if they are real friends they will love and support you no matter what size you are :)
     
  14. a thinner me

    a thinner me Full Member

    Posts:
    101
    Likes Received:
    0
    Start Weight:
    14st8lb
    Current Weight:
    13st12lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st10lb(4.9%)
    Diet:
    Exante
    Sorry you are having a rough time at the moment. I agree with the other posters, it is probably just jealousy. If they have been good mates to you in the past, then maybe sit them down and tell them how important this diet is to you. If they still continue to try and sabotage what you are aiming for then they weren't very good friends in the first place and you are probably better off without them. You know we will all support you on here so if you need to chat/rant/scream you know where to come xxx
     
  15. misskiki

    misskiki Full Member

    Posts:
    244
    Likes Received:
    0
    Start Weight:
    16st0lb
    Current Weight:
    15st6lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st10lb
    Lost(%):
    0st8lb(3.57%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Never mind your "friends" as long as you're happy that's all that counts :) If anything you might give them the courage to start a diet themselves.
    Don't let them get you down, at the end of the day they shouldn't be putting there worries about themselves on you :)
    You're doing great :D
     
  16. tink82

    tink82 Full Member

    Posts:
    77
    Likes Received:
    0
    Start Weight:
    18st0lb
    Current Weight:
    18st0lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st7lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    Exante
    Hi honey, how awful for you. Just try and keep focussed on why you are doing this. You are doing it for YOU, not your friends. Leave them to deal with their own self-esteem issues and make yourself happy. At the end of the day if they were real true friends they would be supporting you every step of the way. Maybe seeing you succeed has brought their own issues to the surface and its easier for them to try and hold you back than let you shine. Don't let them - you deserve this, you are worth it and you will do it!

    Having just split up with my partner of 4 years and lost 50lbs (so far!) it didn't take him long to come crawling back when he saw what he was missing! Bit of a confidence boost showing him the door to be honest!

    Stick with it, stay focussed on you and let all the negativity pass you by. xxx
     
  17. honeytemple88

    honeytemple88 Silver Member

    Posts:
    638
    Likes Received:
    3
    Start Weight:
    15st12lb
    Current Weight:
    10st5lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st7.0lb
    Lost(%):
    5st7lb(34.68%)
    Diet:
    abit of everything
    thank you every1 for you great comments im doing this for me no1 else and im going to hit my target , and tink82 i threw him out we got 2 kids together but he repeatidly put mates n pub b4 them n when he was having the kids he was to hungover to have them but it still hurts
     
  18. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Advert

  19. Gemma79

    Gemma79 I will do this!

    Posts:
    777
    Likes Received:
    21
    Start Weight:
    14st9lb
    Current Weight:
    13st7lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st10lb
    Lost(%):
    1st2lb(7.8%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    When I came across 'friends' saying things like this, I replied asking why they didn't tell me to 'stop, you're getting too fat.' how come they can give their opinions when we are losing weight, but not when we are obese! Both of which our choices, not theirs! (rant over)
     
  20. GladysFriday

    GladysFriday Member

    Posts:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    Start Weight:
    11st4lb
    Current Weight:
    10st4lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st8lb
    Lost(%):
    1st0lb(8.86%)
    Diet:
    Exante
    Hi Honey - You are doing briliiantly! Friends and partners like those are like too much fat; they need losing and you are far too special for any of them... All of the other posters are totally right; jealousy is at the bottom of it all - it'll only take one of them to lose a bit of weight and the stories will change, (and your example won't go un-noticed). In the meantime, you won't miss anything if you drop them, at least for a while. (You don't want to hang out with negative energies). Lift your chin and smile. If you feel the need of a hand-holding or a hug, get yourself in here and see who your REAL friends are.

    Keep going!
    GladysF
     
  21. honeytemple88

    honeytemple88 Silver Member

    Posts:
    638
    Likes Received:
    3
    Start Weight:
    15st12lb
    Current Weight:
    10st5lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st7.0lb
    Lost(%):
    5st7lb(34.68%)
    Diet:
    abit of everything
    thank you realy apreciate the great words of encouragement xx
     
  22. RachieB

    RachieB A thin person in disguise

    Posts:
    463
    Likes Received:
    4
    Start Weight:
    17st10lb
    Current Weight:
    17st10lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st10lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    Weightwatchers
    Hi Honey,

    I am sorry that I have only popped in on this thread now. When you described your friends and their jealousy, I was given sound advice, a few years ago. The advice is, people's opinions and actions towards you are nothing to do with you. It is to do with them and their visions of the world before them. You are doing so well and you are doing it for the best person, you.

    I let everyone and everything get to me. I over-work, fill my diary and then wonder why I am sitting in front of the TV eating endless rubbish. It is amazing that we are all here together and that even though we don't know each other, we seem to share similar experiences, especially with friends. I have been obese for the majority of my adult, so you would've thought that my closest friends would be really happy for me to be able to get clothes from normal size shops. Instead they were the ones who were jealous, told me to stop losing weight etc etc. Sadly that was back in 2009, I have let life get to me since then so I have the same 5.5 stone to lose, but I am looking forward to finding the really me under the layers of worry, stress and self-doubt that are masquerading as my fat.

    Hope you are ok today? Keep strong xxx
     
Popular Forums
  1. MiniMins.com is a weight loss support community helping each other on their weight loss journey. We have a multitude of forums, from Slimming World and Exante, to Success Stories. Click the logo at the top right to return to the forum home page at any time.
Loading...