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my mates are all jelous and trying to sabotage me

S: 15st12lb C: 10st5lb G: 9st7.0lb BMI: 24.1 Loss: 5st7lb(34.68%)
#1
:mad: hi all well iv been on exante only for 3 weeks but i lost 40lb b4 i joined my mates are all big and are being very weird with me saying i was to skinny and need to come of the diet im bloody 174lb im still over weight and they keep offering me takeaways but im not going to fail this diet i've always been fat n its time i did sank to make myself fill great, out of every1 i thought who would support me there making me fill crap , also recently broke up with my partner of 5 years and so heart broken i was just sit n scuff my face but i no thats just letting me don plus its the thought of me looking and feling great and showing him what he lost would realy like some words of encouragement, if you don't mindx:cry:x
 
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hannata

I can haz cake?
S: 280lb C: 249.0lb G: 208.5lb BMI: 35.7 Loss: 31lb(11.07%)
#2
your "friends" don't sound very supportive if you ask me!!! They're just jealous that you are doing so well, I mean look you've lost 48lbs? That must feel unbelievable!!! And you can bet they've noticed too. Keep at it and never let the naysayers get you down xxx
 
S: 15st12lb C: 10st5lb G: 9st7.0lb BMI: 24.1 Loss: 5st7lb(34.68%)
#3
thank you hannata realy apreciate the words onwards and downwards xx
 

hannata

I can haz cake?
S: 280lb C: 249.0lb G: 208.5lb BMI: 35.7 Loss: 31lb(11.07%)
#4
damn right missy!! You know you can always get lots of support here if your real life peoples are funny about it. :) I find that with a lot of people, they're always so negative... especially ones I work with... I just end up wanting to hide away at lunch time lol XD
 
#5
hey hun sound like you having a tough time , but ou are still sticking to exante and being determined .. that is amazing !!!! You need to stand up to your friends and tell them that you will do whatever diet you want and if they dont start supporting you , then they can bog off !!! The only people that have been negaitve towards me doing this plan are the ones that could do with loosing weight themselves , its pure and simple jealousy and not very friend like .

You are an inspiration and deserve better :D
 
S: 16st0.5lb C: 9st4.5lb G: 8st10lb BMI: 22.4 Loss: 6st10lb(41.87%)
#6
when i initially started lighterlife a few friends had a problem with it and i found it was the friends that were a wee bit overweight and were always classed as the skinny friend. all of a sudden i was the skinny friend which in turn meant they were the "fat friend". its more a culture shock for them and after a while they will get used to the fact that your doing it for you. if they dont then they werent very friendly after all. xx
 

spf 40

Full Member
S: 20st6lb C: 16st9lb G: 13st6lb BMI: 35.4 Loss: 3st11lb(18.53%)
#8
I think it must be hard for your friends, especially if you've always been fat to together.

I think when I saw a couple of people in my social circle losing large amounts of weight and becoming thin, in all honesty I think i panicked!

It was a safety blanket being associated with people my size I guess, as it wasn't just me who was fat, I suppose it was saying ' look, its ok to be fat, these other people are its not just you whose the freak' (my personal opinion) and when these people started losing weight I was no longer part of this safe and secure group, I was the odd , big one out.

However, I never discouraged, or sabotaged or tried to undermine my weight losing friends.

I was genuinely happy for them, as I knew that when they were my size they felt just as bad as me and I knew what being slim would have made them feel.

I think just carry on with the friendship and ignore their offers of food. It might even spur them on to loose weight...
 
S: 14st10.2lb C: 14st0.1lb G: 11st7lb Loss: 0st10.1lb(4.9%)
#9
Wow, you have done so well so far! Especially considering the negativity of your friends. To be honest they don't sound much like friends to me! Perhaps they are unhappy with their own weight and are jealous that you have the willpower to do something about your own.

Ignore the comments, and the offers of takeaways etc- you have made the right decision for you and maybe they will take that on board and decide to diet themselves, if not at least you know you are making a positive change to your life! Well done and keep going! xx
 

Bobbi

Silver Member
S: 16st6lb C: 12st7lb G: 10st0lb Loss: 3st13lb(23.91%)
#10
You are damn right about your mates being jealous! They are threatened by this chick who suddenly has the strength to say no to food rather than just bumble along and eat all the stuff that they do. Its sucks feeling like this, I know it does but the sacrifice will soon turn into a huge amount of joy and happiness when you look in the mirror. You will then be able to eat take aways again, maybe it wont be the same carb laden portions but you wont miss out for ever.

COme here for your little bit of sanity girl. HUGS
 
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S: 16st6.2lb C: 15st9.2lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 37 Loss: 0st11lb(4.78%)
#11
just stick at it and ignore them trying to bring you down. maybe stay away from them for a while?
they'll soon see how happy losing the weight has made you and how much more positive you are as a person. being thin isn't going to change what a good friend you are :) - maybe you should remind them that!
 

Katt

Silver Member
S: 16st8lb C: 12st13lb G: 11st7lb BMI: 25.2 Loss: 3st9lb(21.98%)
#12
(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))) stick with it hun, if they are real friends they will love and support you no matter what size you are :)
 
S: 14st8lb C: 13st12lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 30.4 Loss: 0st10lb(4.9%)
#13
Sorry you are having a rough time at the moment. I agree with the other posters, it is probably just jealousy. If they have been good mates to you in the past, then maybe sit them down and tell them how important this diet is to you. If they still continue to try and sabotage what you are aiming for then they weren't very good friends in the first place and you are probably better off without them. You know we will all support you on here so if you need to chat/rant/scream you know where to come xxx
 

misskiki

Full Member
S: 16st0lb C: 15st6lb G: 10st10lb BMI: 35.9 Loss: 0st8lb(3.57%)
#14
Never mind your "friends" as long as you're happy that's all that counts :) If anything you might give them the courage to start a diet themselves.
Don't let them get you down, at the end of the day they shouldn't be putting there worries about themselves on you :)
You're doing great :D
 

tink82

Full Member
S: 18st0lb C: 18st0lb G: 11st7lb BMI: 38.3 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#15
Hi honey, how awful for you. Just try and keep focussed on why you are doing this. You are doing it for YOU, not your friends. Leave them to deal with their own self-esteem issues and make yourself happy. At the end of the day if they were real true friends they would be supporting you every step of the way. Maybe seeing you succeed has brought their own issues to the surface and its easier for them to try and hold you back than let you shine. Don't let them - you deserve this, you are worth it and you will do it!

Having just split up with my partner of 4 years and lost 50lbs (so far!) it didn't take him long to come crawling back when he saw what he was missing! Bit of a confidence boost showing him the door to be honest!

Stick with it, stay focussed on you and let all the negativity pass you by. xxx
 
S: 15st12lb C: 10st5lb G: 9st7.0lb BMI: 24.1 Loss: 5st7lb(34.68%)
#16
thank you every1 for you great comments im doing this for me no1 else and im going to hit my target , and tink82 i threw him out we got 2 kids together but he repeatidly put mates n pub b4 them n when he was having the kids he was to hungover to have them but it still hurts
 

Gemma79

I will do this!
S: 14st9lb C: 13st7lb G: 10st10lb BMI: 29.6 Loss: 1st2lb(7.8%)
#17
When I came across 'friends' saying things like this, I replied asking why they didn't tell me to 'stop, you're getting too fat.' how come they can give their opinions when we are losing weight, but not when we are obese! Both of which our choices, not theirs! (rant over)
 
S: 11st4lb C: 10st4lb G: 9st8lb BMI: 26.3 Loss: 1st0lb(8.86%)
#18
Hi Honey - You are doing briliiantly! Friends and partners like those are like too much fat; they need losing and you are far too special for any of them... All of the other posters are totally right; jealousy is at the bottom of it all - it'll only take one of them to lose a bit of weight and the stories will change, (and your example won't go un-noticed). In the meantime, you won't miss anything if you drop them, at least for a while. (You don't want to hang out with negative energies). Lift your chin and smile. If you feel the need of a hand-holding or a hug, get yourself in here and see who your REAL friends are.

Keep going!
GladysF
 
S: 15st12lb C: 10st5lb G: 9st7.0lb BMI: 24.1 Loss: 5st7lb(34.68%)
#19
thank you realy apreciate the great words of encouragement xx
 

RachieB

A thin person in disguise
S: 17st10lb C: 17st10lb G: 11st10lb BMI: 34 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#20
Hi Honey,

I am sorry that I have only popped in on this thread now. When you described your friends and their jealousy, I was given sound advice, a few years ago. The advice is, people's opinions and actions towards you are nothing to do with you. It is to do with them and their visions of the world before them. You are doing so well and you are doing it for the best person, you.

I let everyone and everything get to me. I over-work, fill my diary and then wonder why I am sitting in front of the TV eating endless rubbish. It is amazing that we are all here together and that even though we don't know each other, we seem to share similar experiences, especially with friends. I have been obese for the majority of my adult, so you would've thought that my closest friends would be really happy for me to be able to get clothes from normal size shops. Instead they were the ones who were jealous, told me to stop losing weight etc etc. Sadly that was back in 2009, I have let life get to me since then so I have the same 5.5 stone to lose, but I am looking forward to finding the really me under the layers of worry, stress and self-doubt that are masquerading as my fat.

Hope you are ok today? Keep strong xxx
 


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