my mates are all jelous and trying to sabotage me

[Katt]

You know today is the anniversary of my favourite auntie, she died of cancer 4 years ago and one of her sayings and it is so true was 'People can only treat you how YOU allow them to treat you' We need to get strong and stay strong and stop allowing others to bring us down

 

[txgardenia]

hugs to you, honeytemple! it sounds like you are losing weight not just from your body, but from your life. as soon as you start healing from this destructive relationship you were in, you can really appreciate the fact that your partner is no longer there bringing you and your kids pain. he needs to sort his own life out without messing up yours any longer. your kids deserve better and so do you. i'm glad that you realise this and have taken steps.

I have a friend who is always trying to sabotage me also, and I have been avoiding her. She has gotten annoyed about the fact that I never seem to want to do anything lately. But that's ok, she can just deal with it. We have enough to contend with on this diet, within our own minds, without outside influences willing us to fail.

 

[honeytemple88]

thank you i i no u cn loss the weight again rachielb just stay strong and if you need some support or just some1 to talk to im here , and that a great saying from ur aunty katt i tink ill av to follow that and not allow my friendsto make me fill like crap and thank you so much txgardina they ar some great words and im really thankful you all have wrote on my wall made me fill 100% beter thank you all so much x

 

[Scanbran]

I can relate to this.

Most (almost all) of my friends were very positive when I started losing weight (apart from the 'don't go too far!' brigade ), but this one fella I used to regularly share a beer and curry with kept asking if I'd 'lost more weight' every time I saw him.

I eventually said 'yes, do you notice a difference?' and he replied, 'yes, you look older!'.



I don't go out for beer and curry with him much any more

 

[honeytemple88]

dnt blame you scanbran people like to put u down to stop u from achieving ur target , my friends i tink r just jelous there all very big and they all want to loss weigh but dnt av the wilpower to say no to that take away or them sweets or chocklate ive just gota remember im not going to be on this diet for the rest of my life n when i come of i can have the treats that i crave now and again in small quantitys

 

[RachieB]

To right honey. Your friends probably admire what you are doing and hate that they decide not to do the same. Having this forum really brings everything into focus. We don't have to listen to the naysayers. You know you are doing what's right for you xx

 

[charlie's~mummy]

keep your chin up babes your havin a tough old time of it and your mates should be supporting you now through the bad time your havin with OH have a word with them maybe they dont realise how hurtful theyre being
((( big hugs ))) xxx

 

[honeytemple88]

thank you so much n yeh i had a word the other day and they havent said anytink bout i need to stop but they are still ayin ohh have some 1 of won't hurt u , but im feeling great so i aint going to do anythink to change this x

 

[Bobbi]

1 will hurt, and it leads to another and another.
There was a comment above about friends not intervening when we are growing unhealthy and yet they intervene when we want to get healthy .... What gives there? Why do people do that.


I have one 'close' friend in particular who has never commented on my weight loss. She saw me when I was 16 1/2 stones and now I'm 4 stones less and gone from a size 20/22 to a 14/16. She never once complimented me or even commented either way. Made me wonder if she even cared that I lost weight. Last year she lost about a stone (she's a size 16 - 18) and she was shaking her bum at me each time I saw her so I'd notice her weight loss. She told me how everyone commented on how 'good she looked' yet she doesn't comment on me. It's just odd - friends are funny folk.

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[Scanbran]

I have one 'close' friend in particular who has never commented on my weight loss. She saw me when I was 16 1/2 stones and now I'm 4 stones less and gone from a size 20/22 to a 14/16. She never once complimented me or even commented either way. Made me wonder if she even cared that I lost weight. Last year she lost about a stone (she's a size 16 - 18) and she was shaking her bum at me each time I saw her so I'd notice her weight loss. She told me how everyone commented on how 'good she looked' yet she doesn't comment on me. It's just odd - friends are funny folk.

I think this sort of thing redefines what friends are.

A lot of the time they may simply be acquaintances or companions, rather than real friends, as we find out at times like this.

 

[Katt]

Real friends are hard to find and only come along so often in life - hold on to them, treat them well, don't let them go! The self-centred, vacuous, trivial, non caring friends are so easy to find and they love nothing more than feeling the 'better' one in the relationship - get rid of them!! They only bring you down and cause you to be hurt and upset - a true friend would rather hurt themselves than hurt you.

 

[honeytemple88]

ah some great comment making me fill alot beter thank you so much x

 

[charlie's~mummy]

Glad your feelin a bit better chick keep your chin up your doin fab x

Sent from my iPhone love n hugs Kel xx

 

[RachieB]

Hey Honey

Glad you are feeling better. I always amazes me that when I ask for support on here I get it in limitless quantities. The different view points always help me to see the situation more clear and that u are on your own.

Well done you for asking for support. It's amazing what support I've picked up just be reading the tread!! Thank you xx

 

[Rebirth_Lozza]

I'm quite lucky to have friends who are supportive of me and seek out more healthy restaurants when we go out. Especially the ones that wag their finger when I really want that chocolate pud LOL! But I did also have one or two Inc. my mother that told me I didn't need to lose weight despite being overweight. So one day I just went 'you say that, but it is I that feels uncomfortable so I'm trying to lose weight to feel better in my own body'. Something along those lines. Anyway, they never bothered me again after that and supported me instead. Maybe your mates are not trying to be mean intentionally? It could be that they've always known you at that size, and so seeing you shrink could be a big change to them. And for many people, change takes time to adapt to.

Why not articulate to them what their actions are doing to you? 'why are you pushing me to eat when you know I'm trying to lose weight?' They may have not even realised that what they were doing was wrong by you.

 

[honeytemple88]

thank you n some great advice rebirth ill av to do that most my family n friends are really suportive i find its a cuple of my big friends who have a problem but i will tell them i going to do this no matter what so they can ever support me or keep there mouths shut but id say it in a nicer way lol dnt want to hurt there feelings x

 

[RachieB]

Totally honey. Of course you don't want to hurt their feelings but you are hurting by their comments. I think the advice lil would work but they have their opinion and you have yours so in the end you could say that u understand their fears but your weight loss won't change you as a person. You sound like you really love your friends so just tell them that and you are doing it for you. My friends were the same and then explained that it wouldn't change me apart from me feeling better about myself and that I then could be a better friend to them because I was looking after myself better.

You look after yourself xxx

 

[RachieB]

Sorry rebirth the predictive text didn't cone out and instead I mis-typed lil

So sorry Hun. Will use your advice as well xx

 

[honeytemple88]

thank you hun will have to tink what i will say to them but hopefully there understand

 

[RachieB]

Hope everything goes ok, I am sure it is not as bad we make out in our minds lol!!!!!!! Hope you are having a fab wkd? Xxx