Nikki (Wannabslim)'s diary- I CAN AND WILL DO THIS!

wannabslim

Gold Member
Hey guys :wave_cry:,

Thought I would start a diary thread to record the next step of my weightloss journey. For those of you who haven't spotted me around the boards (unlikely as I'm a Minis addict!:D) I will give you an introduction/history of my situation. It is very long so don't expect anyone to read it all through, but I need to do this for me, and if anyone else reads it, thats fine too. So, *takes deep breath* here goes:

About Me:
- I am 21 years old, from Bournemouth (but living 50-50 in Southampton too).

- I have a gorgeous OH called Mike:sign0168: who I've been with for nearly three years now. We plan to get married probably within the next 2 years- I want a summer wedding and next year is too soon, so probably summer 2009! :character00250:

- I come from a loving and solid family, and have been lucky enough never to go through any real difficulties with family or my life :D.


My dieting background:
- Having said I have never had any real problems in my family life, over the past few years I have acknowledged that my brothers have had a massive impact on my perception of myself... By this i mean that when I was as young as 8, I thought I was fat because my brothers continually called me 'Fatty' :boohoo:.

- I was not fat as a child although my mum really had to control my portions! She tells me that it was when I started having my own pocket money that things started to change. However, I remember choosing not to wear certain clothes in my wardrobe because I thought I looked fat in them from around age 8, before I was allowed pocket money.

- Over the years, I slowly started to put on weight. I was probably about average until age 14 when I became slowly overweight. I was extremely weight conscious and my mum got me to do a diet with her about age 16 (my first diet). I lost a stone and looked much better although still felt fat. Looking back at photos I did not look fat at all- just healthy/slim.

- At about 18 I started going out drinking, having takeaways etc a lot more, and then went to uni which was really my downfall. I quickly piled on the pounds- went from around 11 stone to nearly 15 stone at my heaviest:sign0007:. I didn't really do anything about it as I knew I would not be able to sacrifice my party lifestyle, plus I loved alcohol and food too much and I worried that if I stopped it, I would miss out on all the social gatherings which always focussed on those 2 things :banghead:.

- About October last year, I entered my final year at uni and decided enough was enough. The photos of me from the summer were atrocious and I realised I really needed to take action. So at the beginning of November, I started SlimFast. I did it religiously right up until a week before Christmas and lost just over a stone :scale:, bringing my weight down to 14st 8lb-ish. However I still had a long way to go and the pics from that Christmas were disgusting :cry:. I found myself secretly throwing away any photos featuring me once the family had looked over them- I knew they would probably never be seen again but wanted to make sure of it!

- So, in January this year (2007) I went onto Slimming World, as I knew I could not keep up SlimFast- I felt constantly hungry. Slimming World was ok but I didn't like the principle of eating as much as I want so I didn't go hungry :eat:. My problem is not eating too much in general but just too much of the wrong stuff and not enough of the good stuff! I stuck to it religiously but lost only 3lbs in week 1 and 1lb a week for the next 2 weeks . Then i put on half a lb and lost all faith in it. It was too slow a loss for me and didn't motivate me enough. However I knew I had to find an alternative and couldn't give up dieting all together .

- This led to my research :character00254: into weightloss programmes which led to my discovery of Lighter Life. I immediately knew it was the diet for me- abstinence was what I needed, as choice and me don't go well together! So, having received my doctors approval I went along and did a week of LL :D . However the flavours were vile :jelous:, and despite losing 10lb in a week (phenomenal!!) I knew I wouldn't be able to handle another week! So I did some more research and came across Cambridge. I switched that week :party0038:and absolutely loved it! Have been a CD fanatic ever since.

-From end of Feb to end of April I did SS 100%, lost 2 stone and came down to 12st 8lb. I looked much better, was able to get into most 14s if not easily 16s in clothes and loved my look. But then it all went wrong, I cheated once and that was it- I could not seem to get back on the wagon although I tried VERY hard for about 4 weeks! So, I did the worst thing and gave up :cry:. This said, I never gave up in my head, I just put it out of my mind for a few months and always planned to come back to it when I felt ready. At the end of June I was ready again :bliss: and had just got my first full-time job. I found the routine was helping me and felt ready to start SS again. So I did 3-4 days of SS, lost 8lbs (taking me down to about 13st 2lb) but then quit my job as I was really not enjoying it, and found a new job which required me to eat 3 meals a day with the kids I was supervising :badmood:. So I put CD on hold til I finished (last week).

-Which (FINALLY) brings me up to today- Sunday 12 August. I have restarted for the last time and intend to see it through til the end now. I am off travelling :character00180: in September for a month but REFUSE to let anything else get in the way of my weightloss. I want to be slim for my graduation in November, so that is my goal. I intend to be about 10 stone by then, or 10 and a half possibly depending on how healthy I look at that weight.

So, What Now?
My plan is to take this a stone at a time- not a minute, hour, day, week, month, but a stone. This is because I think the reason I cheated last time was because I was counting the hours til the end of each day, making the time drag. I also weighed myself every day (I thought I needed to for motivation) but I ended up being a slave to the scales. So this time, I will only weigh officially with my CDC and intend to focus on my life and not my diet- lets face it, if all you can think about is food, its gonna make you want it more! So, first stone here I come. I'm not setting myself any dates as goals, except my final goal of 5 November. Although I'm hoping I can shift a stone in my first 2 weeks.


WATCH THIS SPACE!!!
 
What a journ you have had! Losing weight isnt easy and you have done fantastic to be on the wagon and commited to losing weight and be so focussed!

I am sure you will succeed and look forward to reading more of your diary!
 
hey hun i only jus found this and i know ya due to start again soon

i jus wanted to say ya have my number if u ever need extra support and this website and i personally know that u can do this!! u have the determination to stick 100% and i wish u all the luck to finish this diet

xxx
 
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