No disrespect to people who have had weight loss surgery but..

[xSinead]

REALLY hope i don't offend anyone by this thread, its just my opinion..

About a year ago a family friend of ours had a gastric bypass, she was around 26 stone to start with, quite short so she looked very very big, she struggled to walk, she was a hairdresser but had to quit her job because she couldn't stand for that long anymore.. i hadn't seen or heard of her for agesss until one day i was walking passed a new hairdressers in town, and i saw her! I had to double look though because she looked so tiny. I went in straight away and asked her how she was and told her how amazing she looked! She told me she had a gastric bypass and was now 14 stone (she looked smaller than that but i guess she carries it well).. She told me i should ask to see a specialist and see if i could get surgery too! Of course the following day, i rang and i went to the doctors asking for a gastric bypass, he weighed me and said he would refer me to a specialist but was very doubtful that i'd be succsesful.. i went along to the specialist appointment SO excited, i kept telling myself wow they're going to offer me surgery and within months i'll be skinny and it'll be so easy. I got to the hospital where i met with the specialist, she asked me to sit on this bench/chair thing where they weighed me.. as i got up she looked at me and almost laughed 'ok well i'll tell you right away that we won't be offering you any form of surgery as you're only 21 stone' the tears immediately streamed down my face. How could she be so blunt with me? Was it because i had make up on and looked presentable and girly where as alot of the other people there didn't make as much effort? I was so heart broken, i felt like nobody was going to help me.. i blamed everyone!!

I didn't bother going back to the doctors after that, i didn't try asking to be sent to another specialist, i couldn't face being turned down again. Instead for about a year i carried on how i was, until March this year. I decided to take matters into my own hands and start Cambridge again.. 12 weeks on and i'm 17 stone! My attitude to everything especially food is SO different. I see food as evil, when i watch my partner eat my old favourites like pasta and pizza, i can't help but feel sick, yet proud at the fact i'm not eating it. I'm SO SO SO glad from the bottom of my heart that i didn't get a gastric bypass because i may of had my stomach stapled or unable to eat as much as i used to, but my attitude wouldn't of changed, physically my stomach would of, but my mind would still want pasta, pizza, cakes etc. I still see my friend, she looks around 15/16 stone now, i see her in greggs buying cakes, i see her in costa coffee buying pastries.. she may of got very expensive surgery for free on the Nhs, but what a waste as she's clearly not changed her eating habits.

So yeah, i'm very proud of myself that by christmas i WILL be at my goal weight and when people ask me how i did it, because they will.. I can smile and say 'I did it all by myself'

 

[Caz]

First off, hats off to you for doing so well by yourself. It's certainly not easy but you've done it.

But in regards to your friend, I don't mean to offend you at all but you're coming across as very judgmental. So what if she eats cakes or pastries? So do I sometimes, losing weight and dieting doesn't mean it's salad all the time. At the end of the day, a gastric bypass helps you to lose weight but you still have to work at it. You have to make the decisions to eat healthy foods. I know people who have had them, lost weight and kept it off and that's through eating less and eating healthy. I know others who have had it, stuck to eating crap food like chinese, pizza all the time and yes they can't eat as much but it's spread out and they eat the wrong foods so they don't lose weight, even gain weight or lose it all and put it all back on plus more. So it's not a magic fix, it still takes work for the person who has had it. To be honest though, it's attitudes or should I say comments like that that put me off telling anyone that I'm 'dieting' and trying to lose weight because suddenly the world thinks that they can comment on what I'm eating. I can have take away, cakes, pastries, chips, stuff like that and still lose weight. It's about moderation. It's about exercise. I never tell myself I can't have anything, I just work it into my day and that works for me and obviously it works for her too. And actually that is changing your eating habits.

You're doing the Cambridge Diet, which gives fantastic losses but is that really giving you good eating habits? I know it didn't when I did it and I soon put the weight back on. It's cutting out food completely so it's not really changing the way you see food and deal with it, just removing it completely. So really, it's not all that different in terms of drasticness to surgery. Though, it's not permanent, I'd definitely rather do CD than have surgery.

But also surgery isn't offered based on whether you wear make up or not, whether you're pretty or not, whether you seem confident or happy or not, it's based on your weight. 21 stone is a lot and so I would have thought that would make you a possible candidate but if your PCT has a lot of people who are even bigger than you, then I guess that puts you lower in their priority list and they only have so much money. But like you said, you've done it yourself without that help and that's a massive credit to you. Well done.

 

[xSinead]

Thanks for your opinion, it is a discussion forum after all
I'm thrilled with my sucsess so far, i've changed my habits and learnt that i love myself and my life way more than i could ever love one single peice of food

 

[Starlight]

I dont think you can gauge the success or failure of surgery based on one person. If that was the case look how many people would dismiss a VLCD out of hand as a waste of time. I have to admit surgery just isnt something Id consider, its far to final for me. I want to be able to go back to eating when Im finished. I think too many people are tempted by surgery at the idea of it being a quick fix when its not at all. The real danger seems to be people who go overseas or to specialist clinics where theyre not getting the post op help they need. How can these places expect to give someone such life changing surgery then send them home and offer no follow up care with their diet.

Ofcourse if your friend has failed at maintenance, well shes not alone. Whos to say either you or I wont be posting further down the line about how much we've gained because we're struggling to maintain... maintenance is so much harder than weight loss.

 

[xSinead]

I know i'll do everything in my power to keep my new body that i would of worked so hard & spent so much money on to achieve
But again, thanks for your opinions too!

 

[Starlight]

Id like to think I will too. Hopefully we'll both be in the successful maintenance catagory but then, I expect everyone who loses weight says that and cant imagine theyll regain

 

[Legomom]

I'm glad your happy with your weight loss so far but I'm a bit alarmed by the sentence 'I see food as evil'. Have you talked to your Cambridge counsellor? I've not done Cambridge so I don't know but feeling sick at the sight of food doesn't sound like you've rebuilt your unhealthy relationship with food at all. Be very very careful.

A bypass may seem like a quick fix but it's really not. It's a permanent and very restrictive surgical intervention. (not to say they are bad but they are certainly not easy) A VLCD may also seem like an quick fix as the losses are fast but again they really are not!! You still have to exercise self control FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE just like with any diet. When your overweight like all of us here there ARE no quick fixes I'm afraid.

 

[xSinead]

I have therapy once a week and i've had it for nearly 2 years which is a seperate issue to my the diet i am on, but yes ive expressed how i feel to my therapist. Fair enough if you think its alarming like ive said its your opinion. I'm one of the most determind and strong minded people i know and i know i'll get to my goal for christmas of 11 stone and i'll work my but off 100x harder than i am now to keep my new body.

Good luck to everyone else on whatever weight loss journey they're on

 

[Jodie-D]

I see surgery in 2 ways.. I think there are the people who just get it done because they have no self control over what they eat or can't be bothered etc, may see it as easier than dieting and so on.
Then there are the people that have tried everything they can and see this surgery as their last resort.
I don't think its an avenue that I would personally persue.
I do think nowadays it can be portrayed as a sort of quick fix but each to their own really. I do think there should be more focus on what the person eats etc.. like if they've had that surgery on the NHS but then don't follow it up with a healthy eating plan then what was the point in the first place.
I did read a few months ago about this woman who eats what she likes all year long then gets lipo and gets it all sucked out, ever year. Now I think that is definately a far worse procedure to go through, I mean she's obviously not giving her body any nutrients and it must be a lot for her body to take having that surgery every year

 

[TracyGWill]

I'm glad your happy with your weight loss so far but I'm a bit alarmed by the sentence 'I see food as evil'. Have you talked to your Cambridge counsellor? I've not done Cambridge so I don't know but feeling sick at the sight of food doesn't sound like you've rebuilt your unhealthy relationship with food at all. Be very very careful.

A bypass may seem like a quick fix but it's really not. It's a permanent and very restrictive surgical intervention. (not to say they are bad but they are certainly not easy) A VLCD may also seem like an quick fix as the losses are fast but again they really are not!! You still have to exercise self control FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE just like with any diet. When your overweight like all of us here there ARE no quick fixes I'm afraid.

I'm glad someone else said that, as I too was alarmed by the comments this young lady has made both here and elsewhere - as you say, she clearly hasn't beaten her food demons and needs to be extremely careful not to end up with an eating disorder.

 

[xSinead]

Thanks for saying what you did Jodie, kinda explains what i was trying to in the first post
My friend whose had the surgery has said she 'couldnt be bothered' to try other diets and said she made up a load of suff and spent 9 months trying to convince various surgeons she was suitable for surgery. No denying the fact she was very large, but my PERSONAL opinion is that her eating habits haven't changed thats all, due to the fact she still eats alot of pastries and cakes and near enough every time i see her shes eating either a mcdonalds/gregs etc

 

[vadey]

A friend of mine has had a and immediately lost 4 stone. The band did its job. However my friend then over ate and eats huge portions and snacks on sugary drinks, hence no weight loss! This is because she hasn't changed her habits. No matter what diet you do you have to change the thinking up there! X

 

[Jodie-D]

Yeah Vadey, thats what I am saying.. I think to qualify for this surgery, especially on the NHS, you should have to keep a food diary for a month so that the Doctors can see that you are trying and nothings happening or whatever.. or it is happening and you think this would give you the added help some need.

 

[vadey]

Yeah Vadey, thats what I am saying.. I think to qualify for this surgery, especially on the NHS, you should have to keep a food diary for a month so that the Doctors can see that you are trying and nothings happening or whatever.. or it is happening and you think this would give you the added help some need.

It's easily tricked though as you could put anything but then again I don't think the NHs could afford a private investigator to follow you round to make sure what you had said you did eat! Lol x

 

[Jodie-D]

oh yeah.. lol well I mean't that they'd have to lose a certain amount themselves too before they were considered for surgery. Like with Orlistat/Xenical, they put you on that for 6 months and you need to lose 10% of your body weight in that time for them to carry on being perscribed to you.. obviously surgery would be a bit different as once its done theres not really that much going back.

 

[vadey]

To be surgery is a big no no. My friends Aunty died after years and years of complications from it x

 

[Jodie-D]

Yeah.. about 5 years ago I had a C-section and although necessary that was bad enough.. I wouldn't like to put myself through something like that unless it's completely unavoidable. That's why I mentioned the woman who eats whatever and thinks its ok to get lipo once a year to get it all sucked out.

 

[Caz]

Actually my friend who had a gastric band fitted did have to lose a certain amount of weight whilst waiting for her surgery before they'd go ahead with it.

 

[0000caren0000]

Personally I'm not against people who have it done.

But what worries me about it is, it's a quick way to lose a lot of weight but a lot more complications come with it, like we are watching everything we eat and they are not (brain training ourselves as I call it lol)

Your doing a fantastic job already hun so chin up and give yourself a pat on the back for actually making the effort to lose weight rather than the cheats way xx

 

[vadey]

Actually my friend who had a gastric band fitted did have to lose a certain amount of weight whilst waiting for her surgery before they'd go ahead with it.

I agree my friend did too but she hadn't changed what's upstairs therefore is still 5 stone over weight. How had your friend done that has has the band fitted? Is she a healthy weight now? Like every diet or weight loss programme it works for some and others it doesn't.