Dietingdon
Silver Member
Ok, so i've been with my boyfriend for a year, but we've known each other for almost 10 years. I guess Ive always held a bit of a torch for him, but never bothered with it, as he was in a relationship, had kids, and eventually married. 6 months after getting married, he left his wife, for one reason and another. She was awful to him, and bitter and wouldnt let him see the kids, just to hurt him. He went through a divorce and to family court to gain regular access to his kid, which he got.
I feel like the cat that's got the cream, as I have the man I thought Id never have, and we love each other and live together.
The subject of children has recently popped up. Ive told him, I would like a child in 3-4 years time, but not yet. (I actually left a past partner as he never wanted kids) Having my own child means everything to me. My current partner says, at this time, he can't ever see himself wanting children, as he can't risk not being allowed to see them if we were to split, as last time he almost killed himself over not being able to see his kids. I said that Id never stop him, but his reply was 'my ex said that when we were together too'
I understand, nobody can never say never.
He's fully aware I left my ex due to the children issue, and he's said, he's be upset and gutted if I left him, but he has to be honest with me, and he can't say he'll ever want more kids, and if I stay with him, and he never changes his mind, he'll feel he'll have cheated me out of kids, but at the same time, he dont want me to leave him. The dilemma I have is this, do I leave him now, (it will be the hardest thing Ive ever had to do) after Ive finally got the man I want, and hope he never changed his mind once he's with someone else, or do I wait a few years, and if he doesnt change his mind, leave then, when it's bound to be a million times harder, or do I stay with him, and hope he changes his mind, and if he doesn't, sacrifice the chance of ever having my own child. I just feel whatever I do, I will get hurt and upset, whether it be now or in the future. I love this man so much, and have wanted to be with him so long. I really don't know what to do.
I feel like the cat that's got the cream, as I have the man I thought Id never have, and we love each other and live together.
The subject of children has recently popped up. Ive told him, I would like a child in 3-4 years time, but not yet. (I actually left a past partner as he never wanted kids) Having my own child means everything to me. My current partner says, at this time, he can't ever see himself wanting children, as he can't risk not being allowed to see them if we were to split, as last time he almost killed himself over not being able to see his kids. I said that Id never stop him, but his reply was 'my ex said that when we were together too'
I understand, nobody can never say never.
He's fully aware I left my ex due to the children issue, and he's said, he's be upset and gutted if I left him, but he has to be honest with me, and he can't say he'll ever want more kids, and if I stay with him, and he never changes his mind, he'll feel he'll have cheated me out of kids, but at the same time, he dont want me to leave him. The dilemma I have is this, do I leave him now, (it will be the hardest thing Ive ever had to do) after Ive finally got the man I want, and hope he never changed his mind once he's with someone else, or do I wait a few years, and if he doesnt change his mind, leave then, when it's bound to be a million times harder, or do I stay with him, and hope he changes his mind, and if he doesn't, sacrifice the chance of ever having my own child. I just feel whatever I do, I will get hurt and upset, whether it be now or in the future. I love this man so much, and have wanted to be with him so long. I really don't know what to do.