Not for me.. but i'd appreciate some insight please

[ellie2409]

Hi there, I wanted to pop in here because im looking for some advice as a partner of a smoker. He says he really wants to quite smoking but it has been two years now of unsuccessful attempts. With his permission, I have tried taking his cigarettes and giving him an agreed limit a day but that failed, I have tried hiding them altogether (he went cold turkey for 10 days but found it too hard) i have tried buying 200 at a time and letting him smoke as many as he wanted with the promise he would quit afterwards but that didnt work. I have tried nagging, not saying anything, tell him his kids stink of smoke and its bad for their health (i insist he smokes outside at the very least)

I feel he has a strong emotional connection as he always says its because of stress or anger/dissappointed even happiness. When he goes a few hours he wants to have a cigarette as a reward for being good! SO i guess he sees smoking as a stress relief and also as a reward.

The spray nicotine was working but he didnt like the sensation of the spray going into his mouth so that failed too. I really want to try and be as suportive but i dont want to be pushy as he really wants to quit, he feels terrible about the thought of the kids getting second hand smoke and the money we cant really afford but im not sure what i else i can do!

I would really appreciate any insight as to what you as smokers or you as partners of smokers think is the best way I could help him and support him. Thank you x

 

[Katie1961]

Hi Ellie2409, I'm sure you have read the many ways that folk on here have stopped smoking but the main thing is that your partner really wants to stop himself.
I have tried many different ways and spent lots of money along the way, hypnosis & acupuncture to name a few, this time I was so fed up with smoking that it was fairly straight forward. I do have an e-cig and have found it brilliant but it doesn't work for my husband, every one is different! A lot of shops seem to sell e-cigs now so they are quite easy to get hold of and it's worth a try.
I hope he finds his own way very soon, he is lucky to have you to help and support him.

 

[Fat Tum]

He needs a quit buddy, somebody on the same path as him. Try Quitnet.org I succeeded with them and went cold turkey 7 months ago.

 

[desertman]

hi there
really the smoke is phenomen that make our healthy very influnced by any seml sick ,
so i wll teel you now a way that you can help yr partner ,so me never somked before and ever will smoked in the future
the first thing you ask yr partner for if he need seriously
after make with him system
for exemple if he smoke 20 by day you try with him smoke next week 15 by day all the week and after week he will smoke 10 by day ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, so like that ,when he smoke 1 by day so after this iam sure if he have need that i say before they will stop
so any way hope they will stop that bad thing

 

[Kat.]

I quit smoking about 2 years ago. My partner did also but then began to smoke secretly. I think the only way someone will stop is when they are ready. They just have to be left to it until then.

 

[vivaglam]

Hi

I am currently trying to quit smoking. I have downloaded the livestrong app to my iphone. It allows you to set a date when you want to quit by and it tells you a daily allowance of cigs you can have until you are smoke free. So far almost a week in it is working for me - and i feel confident that it will continue to work for me. There is button that you hit to say you are craving and it gives you a list of reasons why not to smoke at the moment in time. Its quite good.

You can also put in to the app that you want to quit immediately.

Fingers crossed i can continue as i am.

 

[Katie1961]

Hi

I am currently trying to quit smoking. I have downloaded the livestrong app to my iphone. It allows you to set a date when you want to quit by and it tells you a daily allowance of cigs you can have until you are smoke free. So far almost a week in it is working for me - and i feel confident that it will continue to work for me. There is button that you hit to say you are craving and it gives you a list of reasons why not to smoke at the moment in time. Its quite good.

You can also put in to the app that you want to quit immediately.

Fingers crossed i can continue as i am.

Brilliant, use everything that you can to help, it will be worth it.

 

[LellyCD]

IMHO No-one can make/help/nag/guilt someone else into giving up smoking the desire has to be there (true desire) and they need to do it alone and quietly without the fanfare and without NRT (which in my opinion just prolongs the agony)

I gave up over a year ago and I can highly recommend readng this book first by Gillian Riley its called 'How To Stop Smoking And Stay Stopped For Good'

It made me understand the addiction completely and gave me the choice to smoke if I want to, i chose not to.

I thank my doctor for her advice when I asked if she was going to lecture me on giving up, she simply said 'Why do I want to lecture you? You're not stupid are you?'

and she was right, i'm not stupid, i totally understand the dangers/effects and what i needed to do to stop, i was only paying lip-service to the idea previously, after the Dr-led reality check I started neing honest with my self and that was the day, I read the above book (i had had it for 2 years sitting beside my bed) cover-to-cover immediately and stopped that evening.

I'm not saying this to make it sound like it was a doddle, it wasn't, i didn't sleep from sweating and twitching for 2 whole days, felt ill, tired, miserable all from the withdrawal of nicotine and my hisband has continued to smoke to this day too, but every day gets easier and easier. Yes I loved smoking, i am not embarrassed to say it and if I though ti wouldn't kill me or give me mouth cancer then I'd probabaly do it again....but thats my choice, I remind myself every day that I have the choice and i don't answer to anyone with regards to this choice, its all down to me.


Sorry that turned into my life history there...but hope it helps someone.

Good luck to anyone who reads who's trying to cut out the cigs.
xx

 

[Sculls]

I can really recommend Allen carrs 'easy way to quit smoking book!' I haven't touched one for 9 months and I know I never will again! I know plenty of people who are the same!
It's the 'emotional connections' you mentioned that this breaks! It is called brainwashing and the book teaches you to realise that smoking doesn't relieve stress or boredom or anything else. You just believe it does. It makes you ask what the point of smoking is!
Friend of mine smoking 20 a day quit about 7 years ago after this!
I found it quite easy! I never crave / doubt that I will smoke again!