Well after a very upsetting day yesterday (big row with my mum) I have decided it's now time to concentrate on me. No more putting it off or making excuses not to start SS. Today is the start of my weight loss journey and the start of being the person I was meant to be. Im nervous and excited but right now I just feel so determined. I have my tetra packs and books so I'm just going to keep my head down and get through these first few days. I will not be weighed weekly but have asked to be weighed monthly instead as I think this will work best for me as I have a lot of weight to ditch! I hope nobody minds but I will be blogging a lot at the start of this journey as it will keep me focused and will stop me boredom or emotional eating. I'm looking forward to stopping alcohol as it was beginning to be a daily bottle and that's not the person I want to be.
I didn't fall out with my mum over my size or anything but the break between us should do me good. I love her so so so much but she was living with us and it got a little too much! Her husband threw her out and left her all alone but the next thing I know they are going for dinner on Saturday together. He says he doesn't want her but keeps leading her on and when I mention it to her she gets angry with me. He has stolen, cheated and lied to her for years and now she finds out he's a cross dresser too. My husband has been sleeping on the sofa and my son has come in with me so we can provide a safe warm bed/home for her because her husband left her but now she is off out for dinner with him!!! Too much, it was just too much for me! She is moving down south next Wednesday so I don't suppose I will see her for a few months, to be honest after yesterday we prob won't talk for a while. We are both angry with each other. On the plus side it will be nice seeing her in the summer when I don't look like this. I think deep down she and he will get back together and I know she and I will be okay again further down the line but right now it's best we leave each other alone or more nasty words will be said and that's not what either of us want. It's hard because I want to be there for her as she has been there for me, it will be hard not knowing she is ok but I know my sister will take care of her.
Wow where did all that come from, lol feels good to get it off my mind a little tho
right here's to day one..................... I'm gonna do this, just watch me Xx
