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Extra Easy Not overweight but on slimming world- advise?

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by smallerslimmer, 7 February 2014 Social URL.

  1. smallerslimmer

    smallerslimmer New Member

    So, I'm not overweight by any stretch of the imagination. I have a BMI of 22, which I know is well within the healthy region. BUT I'm definitely not at a weight I feel comfortable at. Since this time last year I've put on 12 pounds; I used to be a keen runner before a knee injury stopped me so as well as the weight gain, I've also lost muscle tone. I just don't feel myself at my current weight, so I'm trying to get back down to 9 stone (which would mean a still healthy BMI of 20.3) in order to feel more confident in my skin.

    I've been trying to get back down to my old weight for about 4 months now, and nothing seemed to be working for me. In the past 2 weeks though I've discovered Slimming World, and honestly I think I'm in love! I lost 3lb in my first week and I love that I can eat so much food! :D

    The problem that I've been having, and that I hope people might be able to give me some advise on, is the reaction I've been getting from those around me. It seems that whenever I turn down high syn foods, someone makes a comment along the lines of "why do you need to lose weight" or "you're being ridiculous" :sigh: The women in my office like to bring in cakes and sweets, but to be honest, I would rather save my syns for when I'm monging out on the sofa late at night and fancy a chocolate bar!

    I'm really struggling with the reaction I'm getting from people. I kind of feel like it would be easier if I was overweight, and then that way when I turned things down people wouldn't judge me. I'm finding myself either saying that I'm full or feel sick because I don't want people to judge me when I say that I'm following SW. Either that or I'm eating the cake at work and regretting it in the evening when I really want a KitKat!

    What do other people in this situation do? I could really do with some advise because right now I'm feeling very judged for doing Slimming World!
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  3. Wegle

    Wegle Full Member

    I get the same thing. The way I react to it is just to tell people that I'm trying to eat a healthier diet for my overall health and want to get to a weight that I'm happy with. If they can't accept that it's more their problem than yours.

    The BMI range for healthy has quite a large range if healthy weights and just because you're within the healthy range doesn't mean you automatically have to stop eating well or trying to lose a few pounds. Ultimately SW is a healthy eating plan as opposed to a diet. Even when you hit target the plan would be to still avoid high syn foods except where you plan them in.

    Don't let people's comments get to you. Just remember you can't control other people and they can't control you so you focus on you and let them focus on them.

    Good luck!
  4. Theria

    Theria Silver Member

    Would a little white lie work? "I'm really sorry - it looks lovely but I have to be careful what I eat because of a medical issue, but thanks for offering me one". I suppose as long as that doesn't open up another line of questioning you *might* get away with it :)
  5. Beautyxx

    Beautyxx Full Member

    This is a real challenge, I cant say I have the same problem, as I am not yet in a healthy weight range, but at the same time I have lost a lot of weight so I get a similar thing where people bring in cakes and say 'but you have done so well you deserve a treat', or 'you are allowed a treat sometimes' etc..

    Even at a recent work party night out someone else on Slimming world said 'no counting your syns tonight' (I stuck to the vegetarian chilli and rice and fruit for pudding and I was driving so diet coke and stayed lovely on plan).

    The way I deal with these unhelpful things is to attribute my success with being able to say no to treats I don't need. So when someone was trying to convince me to have a McDonalds breakfast, and they said you have done so well you should have a treat, I just said that I had done well by not having McDonalds all the time. Its a bit harsh, but it works quite well, and also they don't come back and pester again usually.

    You could simply say that you cant keep your figure eating whatever they are offering, and I am sure they would slink off.

    I must stress I try not to do this is a horrible way, but I do it firmly so they leave me alone to what I want to eat.
  6. happycamper

    happycamper Full Member

    I do know exactly what you mean! I only have just over a stone to lose but I know that will make a big difference to how I fell about myself. I gradually put on over a stone last year through not keeping an eye on what I ate, and if I don't control it now I'll be much heavier next year.

    I do sw online and apart from my boyfriend I haven't told anyone. The last time I said to a friend I need to watch what I eat, they told me not to lose any weight or else I'll look too old!

    At work now if anyone offers me cakes etc I say no thanks as I like to save my treats for the evenings. Which is true!
  7. We are not obliged to listen to what other people say, or to do what they say, or to react in any way to what they say.

    Pretend they have not spoken. People who get no reaction whatsoever will stop commenting because eventually they will get the message that there is no point.

    Do what you want. "Never apologise, never explain".

    (That's the second time I have quoted Wellington in this forum this week!)
  8. Jeanne Von Buttonpopper

    Jeanne Von Buttonpopper Silver Member

    I agree that you should not feel that you have to justify yourself to anyone. I work in a very large office where cakes and sweets appear daily. If anyone comes directly up to me I just say "no thanks I've just put one out" or "no thanks I'm trying to give them up" etc, they smile and leave, they don't ask me why I don't want one and they don't ask me why I want to lose weight as I don't choose to tell them all I'm on a diet. :D
  9. RM07

    RM07 Silver Member

    It's not just about losing weight though... turning down the cakes and biscuits could be because you've decided to eat healthier food in general.
  10. gilly37

    gilly37 Member

    I don't really have any advice because I get the same reaction. I've put on weight this week and I'm a bit annoyed but I'm not telling anyone in case of the eye rolls and the why are you even dieting anyway, you better watch it doesn't turn into an obsession, kind of comments. Slimming world can be used as a healthy eating tool anyway but people don't understand this.
  11. Gwella

    Gwella Silver Member

    Interesting one.
    I've been reading the Beck Diet Solution (about how to get into the mindset of a thin person, so that you can stick to your diet and maintain weight loss). She reckons a lot of people who are 'naturally' slim generally DO limit what they eat, turn down snacks etc - that's how they stay slim, it's simple maths. So I do wonder about all the snacks that get eaten in our office - are these people going to regret it a few years down the line? Do they just not eat at home?! The book has a section about 'food pushers' too.

    Fortunately my colleagues are very accepting even though I now look fairly healthy. I've developed a habit of just automatically saying 'no thanks' no matter what the treat is. I don't go beyond 'no thanks' - nothing about dieting or whatever, though most of them know I'm on SW. Occasionally if I feel pushed I'll say 'I just had breakfast/lunch' or 'I'm having a meal out/box of chocolates tonight, got to save some room!'. I think people react less defensively if there is no implied criticism of their own eating choices.

    If they still persist, maybe you could explain like you did here - something like 'I like to plan what treats I'm going to have' or 'I like to wait til I get home and have a treat then'. Or maybe something non-weight-related, like 'I'm worried about my blood sugar' or 'I break out in spots if I have too much sugar'. Or try 'I put on weight so easily, don't want to have to start all over again with my diet!'. Makes the point that staying slim requires restraint, as well as losing weight!
  12. Becky7777

    Becky7777 Full Member

    I get this all the time too, and it's very tiring. I'm now going along with things like 'thanks but I'm stuffed from lunch' 'no thanks I'm off out for a meal tonight and want to save myself' or 'yes please, I'll save it for later though', and then I take it home for my husband or even bin it (I know this is terrible but it saves so many negative comments, so I usually take it home)

    when I get the comments like your obsesses, can't believe your on a diet etc, I usually now say I'm not dieting anymore just eating healthily.

    its so hard. Why can't people take a plain no for an answer, no one commented on my weight when I was overweight but now it appears I'm open game and everyone has an opinion! I'm in a healthy bmi, hardly malnourished and would have to lose a couple of stone to be considered underweight!
  13. lolacola

    lolacola Silver Member

    I used to get it when I went to class "what are you doing coming here, you don't need to lose weight" - but the thing is, when I started SW I weighed in at 12 stone which WAS overweight for my height. I'm well within the healthy weight category for my height now, but it's my decision as to what weight I feel comfortable at, and for me, that's between 9 and 9 and a half stone.

    I maintained that for ages, but after my holiday in September I kind of stopped following plan and my weight crept up to 10 stone, hence my going back on plan to get back where I want to be. Purely because all my clothes are size 10 and I was starting to have trouble getting in to some of them and I refuse to go out and buy a stack of clothes in a bigger size :)
  14. happycamper

    happycamper Full Member

    That's a good point - although I didn't put on loads, I got to the stage where some of my clothes didn't fit me anymore. I had two choice, buy bigger jeans (and bras!) or lose some weight.
  15. BikesAndBacon

    BikesAndBacon Member

    I have this issue too, I'm not exactly overweight, I just say no thanks, if I'm pushed then I tell people that I'm doing sw because my OH is and I'm supporting him (which is the truth). You could tell people something like you're watching what you eat as part of a fitness thing now your knee is recovering? Or tell people to bog off and mind their own.... I do that a lot too :)
  16. Opal_Lily

    Opal_Lily Gold Member

    I think Gwella knocked it on the head.

    In my experience, I genuinely believe people say things like that to make themselves feel better about the choices they're making.

    The fact is you didn't lose the weight from eating that rubbish and you won't keep the weight off if you start eating that rubbish again... That's not to say anything can't be enjoyed within moderation, that is the beauty of SW after all. However, as you say - you'd rather spend your syns on something else rather than making someone else feel better about their own choices.

    I'm with Gwella, I usually say "they look lovely, thank you but I'm heading out for a bite to eat tonight and want to save some room for dessert!"

    I know as another poster said, we shouldn't really have to defend or explain our choices but life isn't that simple sometimes and people do react less defensively if they feel like you've a valid excuse or are not having a pop at their choices.
  17. sparty

    sparty Gold Member

    i always say no to office treats. i have a nut allergy so if pushed i can always use that excuse but tbh i am never pushed. i just say no thanks and people know if i want one ill go get it.

    weight loss is a very personal thing and people find it hard to keep their noses out sometimes. i always try to be understanding of others who want to up their exercise, start a diet or just eat better because, like you, I dont have lots and lots to lose. I want to lose about 10lb to feel a bit better about myself. the ony time i struggle is with one friend who is nautrally tiny (and by tiny I mean she is 5.2 and a size 4) and every now and then she says she wants to lose half a stone. I'm convinced she will disappear one day but as long as she is being healthy then i can support her - its when she starts cutting out dairy, carbs or sugar that i get frustrated!

    you could do the 'i've just had one' trick? or as someone else suggested 'save it for my cuppa later this afternoon' and have it fall into your handbag to take home or bin?
  18. Wegle

    Wegle Full Member

    I know it's tactful to try and come up with an excuse like "I've just had one", "I'm not hungry" etc. but it kind of annoys me that people think they should have to do this.

    Your body is your body, what you decide to do with it is completely up to you. The same applies to others, what they decide to do with their body is up to them. My refusing to have a cake or a biscuit is not a comment on their food choices, it is just me making my own food choice. If people can't handle it or are offended by my food choices then that is an issue that they need to address. Not one that I have to address by adjusting my behaviour.

    I'm not saying that people shouldn't be polite or courteous when they refuse things but they shouldn't have to lie and make up excuses. Especially when what you are doing is something that is positive for you. At the end of the day, the people that really matter in your life will be supportive of your decisions and the people that aren't are not the sort of people I'm concerned with.

    This is all my own opinion of course and not a dig at anyone here, I think I'm just in a bit of a mood because I'm fed up of people making me feel ashamed for looking after myself.
  19. Gwella

    Gwella Silver Member

    Oh, I agree with you. And I think it's actually not a healthy society when people have to defend making healthy choices, just because they're not obviously obese. Talk about diet-binge cycle! No wonder people say diets don't work - it's because people go back to doing exactly what they were doing before. 'Treats' are no longer treats but something that's part of the everyday culture of loads of workplaces and pushed at us from every angle in every shop, and it's not good. People in my office usually say 'ooh go on, why not?!' to a biscuit, and this little voice in my head goes 'well I can think of some reasons why not...' but ultimately it's their business I suppose and I would never criticise!

    But sometimes if it helps people who are feeling under pressure, an 'excuse' can help. And sometimes we can go part-way with something that's not an excuse or a lie, but which is an explanation that we don't want to cut out our treats entirely but that we are choosing when we want to have them for ourselves, not just taking things 'because they're there'.
    Last edited: 10 February 2014
  20. Wegle

    Wegle Full Member

    I totally agree with you. If you're not having something because you know later you are having something else then I think that's fine to say, it is the truth after all. In an ideal world though the conversation would go something along the following lines:

    Colleague: Do you want a biscuit?
    Me: No thanks.

    End of conversation. Unfortunately it's not an ideal world though.

    You're so right about how treats have become the norm. I don't think there is one day in my office when the biscuit tin isn't passed around or someone hasn't brought in cakes or doughnuts. I went to the cafeteria at my college last week as I forgot to take any fruit with me. When I asked the lady if they had any fruit for sale she looked at me strangely and said "No but the chocolate bars are over there.", it was as if it was an odd thing to want a piece of fruit and odd to expect that they would sell such a thing. I've also noticed in some convenience stores a single banana will be priced up at 80p whereas a choccie bar or a bag of crisps is only 60p. But that's a whole other conversation!! :)
  21. Opal_Lily

    Opal_Lily Gold Member

    Agree with it being a whole other conversation but my god does this wind me up too!!! I could walk to a million shops and struggle to find a piece of fruit yet they're stacked high with goodies at the tills and "£1 aisles" - no wonder this is the way it is! The odds are stacked against people from the get-go unless they are seriously focused. x

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