cazmilligan
Happiness in a shake!
I have just finished my first week, and feeling so low and down, I haven't had this "uphoria" that veryone keeps going on about, and my cravings (not hunger just cravings) for food haven't gone.
I feel the past week has been like a lifetime, and each day seems like an eternity.
I have gone from 17st 4oz to 16st 3oz but still feel like its not enough (I know that is ridiculious)
I am a self destructive person, who often looks for any excuse to sabotage my efforts at weight loss, so I know where these feelings are coming from.
I am I actually scared to loose the weight? Its the only rational I can come up with for the constant voice in my head that is screaming "eat, eat, eat"!!!!!!
On top of this, I picked my daughter up from nursery on Friday to be told that the "wedding" (they have been doing all about weddings all month and its my daughters individual planning, and the accumulation is a pretend wedding!) is on Thursday, which is when I am suppose to be meeting my cambridge woman (she doesn't live here and only comes through one day a week) I have to go to see and help out at the wedding as my daughter is the "bride" but I only have enough cambridge to last till Thursday.
I won't see her for another week if I don't go and won't have any shakes either, I have tried to phone her loads, but I know she is on holiday, that is why she gave me two weeks supply, I am panicing like mad and don't know what to do, do I come off for a week, (and keep my supply for the week after) or not?!!!! Aaaarrrgghhhh, then the voice in my head is screamming, "yes come off it eat, eat, eat"!!!
My main motivation for loosing the weight is a fertility appointment in September, but even that is not motivating me at the moment.
I have even been considering Atkins, cause at least you can eat on that, omg, I am one screwed up cookie!!!!!!!!
Can anyone offer advice/support, is anyone else self destuctive and weak like me, or worse keep sabotaging their weight loss?
I feel the past week has been like a lifetime, and each day seems like an eternity.
I have gone from 17st 4oz to 16st 3oz but still feel like its not enough (I know that is ridiculious)
I am a self destructive person, who often looks for any excuse to sabotage my efforts at weight loss, so I know where these feelings are coming from.
I am I actually scared to loose the weight? Its the only rational I can come up with for the constant voice in my head that is screaming "eat, eat, eat"!!!!!!
On top of this, I picked my daughter up from nursery on Friday to be told that the "wedding" (they have been doing all about weddings all month and its my daughters individual planning, and the accumulation is a pretend wedding!) is on Thursday, which is when I am suppose to be meeting my cambridge woman (she doesn't live here and only comes through one day a week) I have to go to see and help out at the wedding as my daughter is the "bride" but I only have enough cambridge to last till Thursday.
I won't see her for another week if I don't go and won't have any shakes either, I have tried to phone her loads, but I know she is on holiday, that is why she gave me two weeks supply, I am panicing like mad and don't know what to do, do I come off for a week, (and keep my supply for the week after) or not?!!!! Aaaarrrgghhhh, then the voice in my head is screamming, "yes come off it eat, eat, eat"!!!
My main motivation for loosing the weight is a fertility appointment in September, but even that is not motivating me at the moment.
I have even been considering Atkins, cause at least you can eat on that, omg, I am one screwed up cookie!!!!!!!!
Can anyone offer advice/support, is anyone else self destuctive and weak like me, or worse keep sabotaging their weight loss?